Thursday, August 15, 2013

Thursday: Style Statement

I blame my sloth of late on Blue Booby.

A couple of weeks ago, she recommended the book STYLE STATEMENT, I looked at my local bookshop's website and saw that there were a couple of copies in stock, and I ran over and purchased one and bought it home.

And for the last two weeks, have been almost completely immersed in it.

 
 

It isn't so much a book, as a workbook, filled with a myriad of questionnaires to measure all aspects of your likes and dislikes, what makes your heart sing, what fills your soul, what depletes your soul (kind of like the anti-style muses folks referred to yesterday).

It is about style, but the style in the book is NOT simply fashion style per se, it is about such things as:

  • how you like to do things
  • where you feel most at home
  • what do you love about yourself
  • what are you fascinated by
  • what is your philosophy of friendship
  • how you express your mental and physical creativity

etc, etc, etc.

There are MANY questionnaires and exercises throughout the book, all of which are designed to help you create your own style statement, your own personal branding if you will.

I have done Myers-Briggs and other personality quizzes in the workplace - they help you define your comfort zones and your natural tendencies, but they do not help you zoom in on the intrinsic you, nor do they help you zero in on your personal life, from soup to nuts.

Working on your style statement does that.

It is not something you do in one or two or even three sittings.  It probably took me about 10 hours of work to fully explore and answer the questions fully and honestly.

It was FUN.  And sometimes uncomfortable. And always illuminating.

In the end, through the exercises, you are able to narrow yourself down to a statement that is summed up in two words, one of which is 80% foundation - what the authors define as the core of who you are, your essential self, your BEING and the other of which is 20% creativity edge - that thing that makes all the difference, that moves you forward - how you EXPRESS and DISTINGUISH your being.

When I got to the end (though to be truthful, I still have work to do - there are more exercises to complete when you are actually done your style statement), I had a "HOLY F*&^$! MOLY!"  moment - I knew that the two words, and the descriptions behind them, were a true distillation of me and I also wished that I had done this exercise a long time ago, as the disconnect that I felt with my old work life makes absolute perfect sense to me now having really examined all aspects of myself.  For those of you who loathe introspection and navel-gazing, this is likely not for you, but even for the hardest core cynical, rational individual, there is much to be gained by doing this..  I ran out and bought a copy for my daughter, since 21 is probably not a bad time to get a sense of your temperament.  While the authors explain that some parts of ourselves evolve and change over time, our true selves are relatively constant and I am quite sure if I had done this at 21 my results would have been pretty much the same.  I also conferred with Barry after the fact for confirmation and he said it was scarily bang on.

It appears it is out of regular stock at Chapters bookstore, but some of the Chapters do have it in their bargain sections, which I am sure they would order in for you if you are interested and Amazon.com (link above) had a lot of new and used ones that can be ordered - just make sure yours isn't already scribbled in!)

So, what did I turn out to be?

CREATIVE (80%) - NOSTALGIC(20%)

My descriptions are as follows:

Creative:

Creative is a life-affirming explorer.  Gifted with fantastic imaginations, Creative will
 seek out originality - unique people and experiences, abstract thinking, and fantastical, whimsical notions.  Small-mindedness and regulations deeply pains Creative.  Resourceful, determined, and passionate, they can find a way through any circumstance.  Naturally flexible and positively capable of reinventing themselves and turning situations around, they tend to be comfortable with change.  Fully expressed, Creative a powerful force that can inspire people to change for the better and shift directions.  They are highly sensitive to their surroundings and, for better or worse, can be sponges for emotions and information.  They feel most useful when they are being inspired or are inspiring others.  They live to express themselves in their own way.  On a dark day, they feel disconnected from their source of inspiration - whether it be material or immaterial, earthly or divine - adrift or on the "outside" of things.  In the best of times, Creative feels a deep sense of harmony and synchronicity with positive forces that keep life moving forward.  Creative endeavours to respect others' forms of expression and can be very tolerant.

Look & Feel: Original, unique, one-of-a-kind.  Crafted, innovative, colourful, abstract, thought-out, free-flowing, artistic.  Creative always puts things together in their own way.

aesthetic, artistic, clever, cool, crafty, cultivated, cultured, dramatic, elegant, exquisite, fertile, formative, gifted, graceful, grand, harmonious, hip, ideal, imaginative, ingenious, innovative, inspired, inventive, musical, original, ornamental, pictorial, picturesque, pleasing, poetic, productive, prolific, refined, rhythmical, satisfying, sensitive, skillful, stimulating, stylish, sublime, talented, tasteful, visionary.


Nostalgic:

Nostalgic is an ambassador of sentiment.  They collect memories, trinkets, rare and precious things, and memorabilia.  Nostalgic loves to pay homage to what has come before.  Enamoured by the past - from royalty to rock stars, family heirlooms to classic films - they work it into the present with charm, quirkiness and often elegance.  They are usually hopeful romantics, yearning and working toward creating fulfilling connections.  Their social circle is very important to them, as are the basic social graves of politeness and a welcoming heart.  Nostalgic likes to look good.  They put creative thought into their home and appearance and love trying their treasures and good finds together with contemporary basics.  Their bittersweet yearning for the past or fanaticized future can lead to melancholy, the cure for which is resolute trust and practical planning.  Attracted to the whimsical and the precious, Nostalgic had a great eye and hear for detail and seeks to fill life with the small pleasures that matter most.

Look & Feel: Vintage, antiques, rarities, collectible. Gentility, sweetness, poise.  Romantic, dreamy, cinematic, glamorous.

ancestry, culture, customs, enchanting, estate, fairy tale, fashion, fondness, heirloom, history, idealistic, imaginary, inheritance, legacy, mysterious, mythological, novel, passionate, picturesque, poetic, remembering, ritual, sentimental, tradition, wisdom.

If you could see the office I am currently making for myself (and you soon will) you will be gob-smacked by how my style is represented there.

Even learning this has helped me understand what the disconnects are in my wardrobe - there always needs to be a spin in what I wear and more than that, there always needs to be something that reflects my past or my family's past or has a vintage vibe.  I think that is why brands like Nougat London and Anthropologie and Brora  and Tory Burch are appealing to me for fashion or for the home.  And why I would much rather go to the local junk shop than ever have anything modern in my house.

But that is just ME.  Everyone of us is different and those differences are fascinating and make the world so interesting and if we are all kind to one another about those differences, can be a source of great celebration and learning!  For example, you won't find modern in my house, but I LOVE to go to a modern hotel or to someone's modern house and marvel at the décor!

The interesting thing about the book is that once you have defined your style statement there is still work to be done.  The authors help you work with it, envision it, listen to it, "let it seep into your bones" and as they say "your style statement will be as useful as you make it."

They invite us to "Go Forth and Live as Art!"

I also suspect, having recently lived through this myself, that if you are not living in accordance with the true you, your real essence, you might be destined to live a life that is often fraught with unhappiness and a feeling of being unfulfilled or of not being the sort of person who had a dream or an un-actualized  essence.  You might be frustrated and jealous of the perception that others know who they are and are pursuing it, or are just more content in life than you are.  But I believe you would be wrong. 

As soon as I named myself, recognized myself and celebrated myself (really, I ought to have bought champagne when I finished on the weekend - where are those baby bottles when you need them! Oh wait - I drank them..), I felt that there was a world of possibilities.  Obviously, I was already stumbling in this direction quite resolutely, but this book had been a god send.
  
Your foundation and creative edge words will be different than mine (or in some cases not), but your responses to the questions asked will be as different as if we were living on different planets - our lives and experiences and temperaments all lead us on different journeys. 

My style statement allows me to name and celebrate what makes me tick and will, I hope, help me choose more wisely in the future when I got to make purchases or write or decorate or try to decide if silver eyeliner is appropriate in the day time (it is for me!).

My closest friends would have recognized me in the descriptions above, though they might not have known what to call it.  I certainly wanted you to know me as well.  You are so kind as to drop by almost daily - I guess you need to be warned that we will be having these discussions from time to time, me being so sentimental and poetic and all ;-)

Have a lovely Thursday and stay safe out there!




29 comments:

  1. I love this book!! I spoke to Danielle La Porte (one of the authors) on the phone, about my style statement, when the book was first published. She's amazing!! She has since moved on to a new venture and website. http://www.daniellelaporte.com/. Very inspirational reading.
    I think I mentioned your creative component several months ago. It's so wonderfully obvious.
    Have a great day Wendy.

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    1. Hi Jennifer, thanks so much for the link to Danielle's new venture - it looks really neat! The style statement is so helpful - when I picked it up, I assumed it was about fashion, but it really, really is such a small part of it, I found!

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  2. I went back to look. Back in 2008 I was "Refined", "Feminine". Which I will now need to go back and recheck for current validity. As I age, I grow and morph. Doesn't everyone?

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    1. I will be curious if you have changed much? I had the impression that we don't change our core substantially, just the edges. My third word was comfortable, but it didn't have the same resonance as the two that I ended with, which were so obvious throughout the entire exercise. I think refined/feminine does indeed sound like you and comes across strongly in your blog! Let me know if there was a difference - so neat to see 5 years later!

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  3. Oh I love the sound of this book and the descriptions are you down to a t, of course you probably did your homework properly, I'm always so impatient but I really fancy this book and I never look st style books.

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    1. Tabs - I think you would quite like it - I know Dani found a copy and is working on hers whilst on vacation. I found it hard to do the exercises by times because a) I hate following instructions and b) I don't follow them well because I am rotten at details (see my description above) - but it has been worth it to do it right as it absolutely helps you winnow down through this series of questions and analytics about your life. In that sense it really is both a left and right brain exercise. Speaking of which, Patti over at NotDeadYetStyle, http://notdeadyetstyle.blogspot.ca, has an interesting article on left and right brain stuff today.

      I think you would like it because it really isn't a style book per se. I kind of wish they hadn't called it style statement. In the end, I though the more apropos title might have been "Life Statement" or "Preference Statement" or some such.

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  4. I like the idea of defining our core self to help us make sense of all the choices we have to make in life, big and small. Congrats on finding yours. I like that it's just two words so it's easy to revisit and keep one's priorities on track. I agree the book is mistitled. I am thinking Personal Manifesto but probably sounds too Karl Marx.

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    1. Marie, as a person with a Masters degree in Sociology I have to say: "can there ever be too much Karl Marx?" ;-)

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  5. I am so happy you enjoyed the book. I actually downloaded it on my Kindle, I would NOT suggest this unless you can't get your hands on it, so I really had to take my time writing everything out. I too found it enlightening and really quite freeing. BTW, for all others, I am GENUINE-EASE. I said no milestone year for me but I actually forgot it is. No, no zero on the end of my age but an empty nester I will be in one week. Ack! Having identified myself as Mom for so long it was time to be Teresa again.

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    1. BB or Miss T: that is a really significant milestone. we are lucky - ours are easing us into it by going to university here in town!
      I think using the kindle would be hard as I did find it good to write and write and write right in the book. There was one page where I covered up an entire page, scrawling up the side and down the other, it was quite a snake!

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    2. Yes, this is a big milestone,BB! Redefining coupledom after they leave, how much independence is OK,all very engrossing.

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  6. Hi Wendy, this book does sound like a lot of work, but it looks like it was worth it. Just knowing you through this blog, the descriptions above really resonate. I was going to check it out at the library, but it looks like copies for sale are dwindling (Amazon) so perhaps I should strike now?

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    1. I think it was published several years ago. You can check the quantity at your local chapters - they show it as out of stock to order online but when you click on "check avail in local store" - there were some copies at my shop and where Dani is!

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    2. Yes, I remember reading about it on the French Chic Yahoo group, years ago. I did check the local store option on Chapters online, but it's sold out there too, and all the Chapters in nearby towns as well. Might try Amazon.

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    3. P.S. And thanks for the tip about checking in store - hadn't noticed that before!

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  7. Hi Wendy, it sounds like that book was just what you needed! How perfect. I can see how your statement suits you, and it's great how well it resonates for you.

    I hope that you will share some of your process of applying the statement to your dress and life!

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    1. I will definitely do so, Abby - well, I have already quit my job for creative, wonder what's next?

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  8. I am curious as to what all the categories are, so will see if I can find this book. Sounds like I will have the nostalgia part if that means surrounding oneself with old objects, all having inherent meaning( I'm sitting at a table made by a friend on an old thumbback Windsor from my old farmhouse, with candlesticks made by MLane out of an old bannister, resting on a Peruvian textile my daughter brought from her travels, etc.)

    I love modern hotels, too! Could never,ever live that way.

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    1. Lane - I think you would have a blast doing this! it was hard at first determining what part of me was foundation and creative edge - there are TONS of descriptions that are helpful when you get there!

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  9. How fantastic! Even I, who only knows you through your blog recognized you in some of the descriptions. Your love of fancy pants, colors and little chachkas:). Thank you for sharing and always teaching as well as inspiring me! Hope today is a good "money" day lol.

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    1. Oh A! I just spent money! Oh well - that could be another definition of a good money day - sharing it with the economy!

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  10. Those descriptions seem to fit you very well. Sounds like a very fun and interesting book - will check it out!

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    1. Hi Merry Wife - might be the perfect time for you to take this on! How are things in my favourite city??

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    2. Not quite my favorite city yet, but it is growing on me. :) Today is absolutely beautiful. If I had a convertible, I'd drive around with the top down all day.

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  11. I should read this - I am still buying things that are awkward in my wardrobe. I've never done the Myers test _ I worked for newspapers where they don't spring for that kind of thing, But Im not sure if they have a "cynic in the corner" one which I have to step out of...

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    1. Oh they got LOTS of categories for you my dear! Worry pas!

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  12. I think I made my style statement when an interior designer asked me a bunch of questions. When she got to what did I want to be the focal point of the room, I said "Me."

    I may already know too much about myself.

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Kindness is a virtue...