Happy Sunday!
Our dinner last night was not only yummy, but so much fun. The couple I had mentioned were great hosts, but mostly the night was great because they were so funny. I must have laughed until I cried several times and what more can you want out of an evening than that?
Besides that loveliness, we can start with a little inspiration...
Thursday evening, Barry and I went to the Opening Ceremonies of the New Brunswick Special Olympics.
The Ceremony was as inspiring as you would imagine it would be: watching the athletes marching in, their whole beings vibrating with excitement, made me completely, utterly, awe-struck.
The Special Olympics oath is: let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.
The young woman in the wheelchair who was to read the oath at the opening ceremonies was so overcome with emotion that she could not do so. With the help of an aide and the crowd, it was read and if there was a dry eye in the crowd, I didn't see it. Congratulations to the athletes, the organizers and all of the friends, families and volunteers. Well done!
My second thing of inspiration is from something I heard this week. I have been going through the second 21 Day meditation challenge with Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey (you know I love me some Deepak). I loved the first one on Perfect Health so much that I bought it and I continue to meditate daily. This current challenge is about Relationships and as always with Deepak you have more than a few a-ha! moments.
Mine was earlier this week in the meditation on effective and truthful communication. Deepak advised that before we speak (or write!) that we ask ourselves four questions:
1) Is what I am about to say true?
2) Is what I am about to say kind?
3) Is what I am about to say necessary?
4) Does what I am about to say improve upon the silence?
Pretty profound, huh?
Now, I don't know if everything that comes out of our mouths needs to go through the above filter, but I have been using these 4 questions A LOT in my interactions with others.
Even stopping to ask yourself the questions is often enough to avoid saying something that could hurt you or the person you are speaking to. It is quite profound.
I have been trying to follow this in my comments and on my own and others' blogs. I think writing our comments can be a powerful tool, but our words can also be easily misconstrued or hurtful if we are not careful and I have seen many cases where people gave their opinion where none was really required or sought. I am sure I have been guilty of that myself. I have even had my own feelings hurt by someone telling me that they didn't like something that I obviously did. I remind myself constantly now that just because something may be true for me, doesn't mean that others will find it either kind or necessary for me to share. I am a work in progress, but I thought these were such profound questions to ask ourselves that they are worth sharing! Maybe you already know them and have been practising them all along. I think I have always followed them to a great extent, but this is helpful.
I try to make this blog a positive, safe place for all who drop by, since there is enough angst as it is...
Now to the shallow nattering.....
This I do want some help with...But remember the kindness...:-)
I have always wanted a tulle skirt.
Am I too old to rock this? too short?
I can so see it with this top...or my jean jacket or my leather jacket...
I am crazy about these Anthro pieces... If I buy it, I would have to wear it - it could not be an aspirational dressing piece...What do you think?????? All thoughts, kindly put, are WELCOME! I always trust you guys!
Well that is my Sunday! Have a beautiful one and stay safe out there!
Our dinner last night was not only yummy, but so much fun. The couple I had mentioned were great hosts, but mostly the night was great because they were so funny. I must have laughed until I cried several times and what more can you want out of an evening than that?
Besides that loveliness, we can start with a little inspiration...
Thursday evening, Barry and I went to the Opening Ceremonies of the New Brunswick Special Olympics.
The Ceremony was as inspiring as you would imagine it would be: watching the athletes marching in, their whole beings vibrating with excitement, made me completely, utterly, awe-struck.
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| Source |
The Special Olympics oath is: let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.
The young woman in the wheelchair who was to read the oath at the opening ceremonies was so overcome with emotion that she could not do so. With the help of an aide and the crowd, it was read and if there was a dry eye in the crowd, I didn't see it. Congratulations to the athletes, the organizers and all of the friends, families and volunteers. Well done!
My second thing of inspiration is from something I heard this week. I have been going through the second 21 Day meditation challenge with Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey (you know I love me some Deepak). I loved the first one on Perfect Health so much that I bought it and I continue to meditate daily. This current challenge is about Relationships and as always with Deepak you have more than a few a-ha! moments.
Mine was earlier this week in the meditation on effective and truthful communication. Deepak advised that before we speak (or write!) that we ask ourselves four questions:
1) Is what I am about to say true?
2) Is what I am about to say kind?
3) Is what I am about to say necessary?
4) Does what I am about to say improve upon the silence?
Pretty profound, huh?
Now, I don't know if everything that comes out of our mouths needs to go through the above filter, but I have been using these 4 questions A LOT in my interactions with others.
Even stopping to ask yourself the questions is often enough to avoid saying something that could hurt you or the person you are speaking to. It is quite profound.
I have been trying to follow this in my comments and on my own and others' blogs. I think writing our comments can be a powerful tool, but our words can also be easily misconstrued or hurtful if we are not careful and I have seen many cases where people gave their opinion where none was really required or sought. I am sure I have been guilty of that myself. I have even had my own feelings hurt by someone telling me that they didn't like something that I obviously did. I remind myself constantly now that just because something may be true for me, doesn't mean that others will find it either kind or necessary for me to share. I am a work in progress, but I thought these were such profound questions to ask ourselves that they are worth sharing! Maybe you already know them and have been practising them all along. I think I have always followed them to a great extent, but this is helpful.
I try to make this blog a positive, safe place for all who drop by, since there is enough angst as it is...
Now to the shallow nattering.....
This I do want some help with...But remember the kindness...:-)
I have always wanted a tulle skirt.
Am I too old to rock this? too short?
I can so see it with this top...or my jean jacket or my leather jacket...
I am crazy about these Anthro pieces... If I buy it, I would have to wear it - it could not be an aspirational dressing piece...What do you think?????? All thoughts, kindly put, are WELCOME! I always trust you guys!
Well that is my Sunday! Have a beautiful one and stay safe out there!
Hi Wendy,
ReplyDeleteI like the skirt and the top. You'd have to try them to see if they work for you. I think together though, they wouldn't work. With the "puffiness" of the tulle skirt, the longer top would flare out at the bottom over the tulle. Not sure if that's a look you'd want, especially if you're concerned about your mid section as you've said previously (only kindness here!) If that skirt were to work for you, I think a shorter tie top like the one you're looking at (that sits above the waist), or, a tucked in top, maybe an nicely tailored open white shirt (the perfect one you haven't found yet) would look great. A tailored blouse would offset the fanciness of the tulle. To look sophisticated and not too cute, I also think you'd need to go with a at least a slight heel like the model is wearing.
A long time follower,
Laura
Hey Laura! Thanks for the great advice!!! Oh Lord girl, I think there is no one more concerned about their mid-section than me! :-) I am thinking of giving it a name and heaping love on it and see what happen! I think you are right on the tucked in part! Why is it that I dream of being a 5'8" ballerina????
DeleteMy mid-section challenges yours to a duel :-)
DeleteHi Wendy,
ReplyDeleteI shall certainly be trying to use Deepak's 4 questions from now on.... And encouraging the rest of the family to try them out too. We've had a lot of angry moments recently in the house due to approaching teenage angst from 12 year old daughter, and her younger brother, whose sole ambition seems to be to annoy her. Grrr.
To the skirt: I think you could totally rock it, but my preference would be to toughen it up with denim or leather. I think it would be very chic on you with a denim jacket and boots.
Thanks Ruth! Barry and I are actively practising these and it does seem to snap us out of sniping!
DeleteMy hard one is #4 - I am never sure that ANYTHING I say REALLY improves the silence, especially when the birds are singing....
Thanks for the advice on the tulle. I keep wondering if a 50 year old work at home writer can really rock the tulle. I know that luck favours the brave...
But does it not take ages to have a conversation? I'd totally lose it " speed up, you're asking those 4 questions in your head again aren't you?' I think it's a great idea to keep in mind however if someone has asked for advice.
DeleteHilarious Tabitha!
DeleteAgree, the skirt is a dream piece. I thought you might want to shorten it, so I expanded the pic to check the hems. it looks like the tulle layer could just be trimmed. The lace layer - well, you don't want to lose the pretty edge, but a few inches above the edge, you could make a horizontal tuck to take up extra fabric.
ReplyDeleteFred - thanks - you are my alteration queen - I have actually started to take the time to alter things thanks to you! I think I will order up to be sure the waist fits if I so get it and if my seamstress needs to nip and tuck she can. I think I would actually need to pull it up 5 inches at that hemlength so it hits in the same place on me...Hmm - may need to show it to her first...
DeleteI agree with ruth to toughen up the skirt.It would look great with a denim jacket.
ReplyDeleteYou can totally pull that off!
Sorry i forgot to try your shoes in the store,but will try to remember it next time.
no worries! they shipped Friday so they will likely be here before week's end! did you try any shoes?
DeleteThat skirt is so pretty and it's a good length, so I don't think you'll look like the fairy on the Christmas tree in it, with a simple, to the waist sweater, no embellishment and heels, it's a really elegant dressy outfit.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tabs! Now where in the world would I wear it????? Want to have me round for tea and oat cakes?
DeleteReally bad punctuation up there. As hubs would say " my bag" - he actually said that once in front of people and afterwards I asked him what on earth that was supposed to have meant and he said " Oh it's a saying that Americans are using now" Is it... is it now?
ReplyDeleteDo you mean "my bad"? Yes that is the current lingo for any owning up to any kind of error.
DeleteStrike first "any".
DeleteOh you too are funny with your grammar! I remember being around 21 and pronouncing halcyon days as
DeleteHALLY-CON DAYS in front of a group of very smart people. My bag!
Yes, that's exactly what he meant but he thought it was 'my bag'!
DeleteI once said that I had been to the Pope's private residence - but I hadn't, the name was similar ish to a coffee house here and I thought that's what they were talking about . People were mighty impressed if only they knew!
DeleteOh that is too funny! I am such a scatter brain at times that I am always misspoken...and a little confused! Imagine the rumours about you and the Pope afterwards!!!
DeleteLove this! I had a friend who lamented the "doggy-dog world", everyone so competitive! I still giggle.
DeleteI think it's a delightful look! How about to a special dinner, a fall benefit affair, Christmas eve, a book launching party...
ReplyDeleteOh Lane - good idea - a trip to Maine...your husband will say "who the hell is she and why is she wearing that..."
DeletePerfect!
DeleteThe guide questions I am posting on my computer monitor are getting long! I love the skirt & I think you will be surprised how versatile it is. I have a black one that I always wear during slightly dressy events with a slightly skimming sweater. Hides the tummy specially après food. I think that pink v-neck cashmere you just ordered will look lovely with that skirt. Yes, I can see you wearing it during cocktails for your book launch.
ReplyDeleteMarie - I hear you! I read those 4 questions and thought: Wahh! I have to be a nicer person!!! Black would be so chic! I was even thinking I could wear this with black..
DeleteI love the skirt WMM. That is quite a find. I think boots and a nice cozy chunky sweater would make it "tougher" , and I love the sweater you paired with it. I need to peek at Anthro soon.
ReplyDeleteI so wished I had an anthro that I could go visit and try it on! But I have wanted a tulle skirt since 1968. the last time I wore a tutu...
DeleteI think my comment got eaten? I swear it was kind! :) I had said something like the skirt may have limited utility in your climate and because it is fancy. I love the sweater and you could wear that all the time (pretty color too!). Personally I have trouble wearing poofy skirts. I think it needs a fitted top (think Carrie Bradshaw in the tutu with the pink leotard top, although I am not advocating that in particular, just something fitted for balance).
ReplyDeleteCate - I think you are right - a tshirt would be good, a fitted blouse...and I don't think I have any Carrie in me to channel!
DeleteWMM, you are always so insightful! I'm quite a bit behind in the Deepak meditations myself, but I'm excited to dive into that one. I have noticed on the rare occasion a comment on your blog that was, um, less than kind. And I was always inspired by your quick wit and aplomb.
ReplyDeleteA resounding YES to the skirt with leather or denim. As for an occasion? Why, your own life is the occasion! At base, we buy things for the way they make us feel about ourselves. Think of what it could do for your story line to feel just so... And cocktail hour/Miller time seems much more indulgent swathed in tulle!
(gosh, I hope I just improved upon the silence...)
Cheers!
-Flibbertygibbit
Flibbertygibbit - you sure improved on my silence! I think I am probably going to push the button as there is free shipping today and that saves $20 right there!
DeleteOne thing I am learning is that sometimes when my feeling get hurt by a comment - any comment - is that it is as much about how I am feeling as what the person said. it is such a good reminder though! I was telling my friends about the four questions when we were on cow island earlier this week and we all got really quiet! Although I am convinced that anything said with goodwill and kindness always improves upon the silence!
I think the skirt is dreamy and even tried a puffier tulle confection from Anthro last year-which was hilarious on my hippy physique. I think your build is perfect for a fuller skirt and agree with others that it is best complemented by a fitted top and maybe a cropped jacket. Putting something over those layers is likely to create unwanted volume.
ReplyDeleteWonder how the wrap sweater would work with your crazy or skinny pants - probably awesome!
I hope it works out for you :-)
(how'd I do?)
Too funny! Now I ave made everyone paranoid! I am also now checking out mod cloth as the review of the similar skirt in effortless anthropology says these skirts are voluminous, white I am looking for swan lake....
ReplyDeleteSKIRTING THE ISSUE Well, WMM sometimes I need to remember to be quiet and REALLY listen, stay engaged, not let my willy-nilly brain speed ahead or ramble away. So thanks for sharing 1-4. When writing, I often try to remember, how would that sound if I said it out loud, could it be interpreted as harsh or glib?
ReplyDeleteI think you must consider if the skirt is something fanciful or something pretty you would reach for whenever a party invite presented itself, and be happy to dress up in often, even if others were in simpler things?
Does it have lots of re-wear potential, with a crisp white top (a la Carolina H.), a black or white tee and a casual jacket, a grey cashmere jumper. Like cate, ruth, Julie et al, I think it needs something fitted on top to balance the layers and sweet youthfulness.
Does it already belong in your closet (good), or would you need to acquire lots more things to wear it often (tops, elegant low heels...)? If you didn't acquire it would you miss it next time you wanted to look "pretty fancy"?
And I got so busy nattering, I forget to say that's a meaningful oath and something about the Special Olympics I did not know.
DeleteExcellent points! Will have to think on that! Will see what I have, as buying more for this is not a great idea....
DeleteHi Wendy, I think once I may have said something in a comment that might, unintentionally, have come off as a bit negative. You were suggesting new blogs to read and I wanted to express that it wasn't a good thing for me as I would probably go down the rabbit hole of reading them as I just can't help myself, but I don't think it came out like that. After I re-read it later (I always like to go back to see more comments) it bugged me, so this is my chance to apologise. Anyhoo, those 4 questions are spot-on and I'll certainly try to remember them.
ReplyDeleteMany moons ago I had a similar skirt and someone burnt a hole in it at a party with a cigarette. I guess I'm lucky I didn't go up in flames!
Patricia - I don't even recall that and honestly, I was not referring to any one comment ever in particular, but know that I have certainly been guilty of not being careful with my words! I think the four questions are particularly appropriate for our in-person conversation, especially if we want our relationships to be kinder and gentler! A cigarette burn! WOw you are lucky you didn't go up in flames!
DeleteThose four questions but then I might have to say that I would just be quiet then there would be no conversation...
ReplyDeleteAlso if I think too much before I comment then I feel my words come out all wrong and isn't really me bu tit does make me think I should think out my comments before I blab out loud bc I could cause offence but none is ever meant just FYI!
DeleteCSW - I hear you - as I said = #4 makes you really think! I am of the opinion that it is fairly easy in real life (maybe less so in email or online) to understand if something is being said with malice or just awkwardly (I am the queen of the latter) and I have seen the odd comment on other people's blogs that make me think that there are some people trolling the internet just waiting to say something mean! But I have met a few of those kind of people in real life, so I am never surprised!
DeleteI can imagine not a dry eye, I got teary just reading your account. The four questions are good but what I say on my blog would probably never make it past question three. I think the skirt is better with something simple, I like what Tabitha suggested. Wear it when you have dinner with friends, it doesn't have to be just for a fancy occasion. I can even see it with a T-shirt and flip flops (!)
ReplyDeleteTR - I hear you re: blogging!!!! However I personally think that people posting their clothing reviews are a) their truth b) very necessary - especially for those of us who don't live near a store! c) kind cause it saves us money buying crap and d) improves upon the silence because you are so witty! so there you go!
DeleteI am now searching for an online review, because effortlessly anthropologie had review of an almost identical skirt on her blog and I am afraid that I might end up looking like one of those hippos in a tutu in Fantasia!
Those are great words from Deepak. I remember once watching him on Oprah many, many years ago (maybe 20 years ago?) and something he said, and I'll paraphrase, was that the hurt that was done to you is never as bad as the hurt you do to yourself dwelling on it and carrying it with you after the event. Something clicked in me and I completely got over my ex boyfriend who had callously dumped me just like that. Miraculous!
ReplyDeleteOn to the skirt. Like most of the comments, I think you should buy it - it's fab. But I'm Queen of Buying for the life I don't really have, as my racks of cocktail type dresses attest to, so take that with a grain of salt! I think with a tailored white shirt like Carolina Herrera it would look great, or with a sweater as others have said. xx
Oh and there's nothing better than a cry-laugh evening for the spirits! Sounds like a fab dinner out.
Delete