Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Signature Style, Part deux

This is like a crossover blog episode, like when the characters from CSI Canada go visit the characters from CSI Scotland...

My beautiful friend Tabitha had a wonderful post last week about signature style.  Doesn't she look fantastic in the picture below?


Oh boy - did it get me to thinking.

For two years now I have been in a state of transition:


  • from my 40s to my 50s
  • from the corporate world to being self-employed
  • holding on to 15 extra pounds that I seem determined to keep close to me
  • from being absolutely crazy about wearing colourful clothes to being slightly tired of them
  • chasing trends as I try to define my own fashion taste at this point in my life

I have wished time and again that I had a uniform.  My closet is jammed full of clothes but often doesn't feel like me anymore.  I see outfits I admire on others, but then when I wear similar outfits, they don't feel like me!  Much as I admire and am tempted to try and emulate my blog friends like Dani or Ina  or Audrey or Ema to name but a very few of you wonderfully stylish ladies whose blogs I follow so faithfully, I end up not wearing the outfits afterwards.   

What I know that I want:
  • I want to wear my clothes and not have them wear me.
  • I want a defined style and not the latest thing.  I do not want to look like I am trying to hard to keep up
  • I want clothes with some personality, but mostly I want to bring my personality to my clothes
  • I want feminine clothing but I like a touch of tomboy and I love a vintage vibe
  • I want to feel chic at all times, even in my PJs!
  • I do not want to dress like my daughter or my friends' mothers!  Unless my friends' mothers are Lauren Hutton and then okay!
I revisited my pinterest boards, as I often feel like they are good indicators of what I like and admire.  

However, I recognize that what I like and admire is different than what I like and admire on ME (see my comments about other bloggers above).

My favourite pinterest outfits right now:

All Black and red shoes cargo jacket, printed pants, and awesome sandals :: summer lace :: Classic

oversized sweater + dress + scarf + leggings/tights + boots   leopard Olivia Palermo chic boyfriend jeans, sweater, leopard heels Tory Burch at the 2012 CFDA Fashion Awards #partysnaps #fashion #cfda #harpersbazaar #toryburch Olivia Palermo Its that simple 

Olivia Palermo Olivia Palermo for Elle Ukraine .

When I see them all together, I see
  • a love of skinny trousers and jeans, with the very odd wide trouser
  • flat shoes or boots and I like pointy toes too Tabs!
  • Nothing clingy
  • clothes with little embellishments - simple, but with some personality
  • generally neutral, with the odd pop of colour or pattern
What I realize  is
  • my jcrew pencil skirts are not really working for me and I need to get rid of all but one or two
  • I am not sure that a lot of my j crew is actually working for me, or else I must be MUCH more discriminating
  • that I need to slowly replace my straight skirts with slightly flowy skirts, still at knee length
  • That I mostly prefer neutrals, except for blues and pinky hues at times and I love red lipstick
Outfits from the last six months that fit this criteria and that made me feel comfy and like myself:

  

  
  

 

Having looked at these outfits, and the outfits above, I can see why there is a disconnect, as these outfits make up a very small portion of my actual wardrobe.  Mostly, I realize that the bulk of my wardrobe is composed of clothes that I fancied for my past work life, or in catalogues or on other people, but which I almost never really pick out of my closet and put on.  

No - I am not throwing it all out!  I will put some things away and see how I feel in a couple of months. But right now, all of these "extras" act like white noise in my closet and confuse me when I am getting dressed.  

I tried this out when I went downtown today.  i had a certain outfit on, but I realized it wasn't making me feel comfortable.  So I went back upstairs and tried on my new uniform:

 

It wasn't red and white for Canada Day, but it felt very patriotic to ME!

How about you - are you honing your signature styles?  Has Tabs' post made you think as well?

My name is Wendy, and I am reforming - More is sometimes just MORE....

Stay safe out there!

48 comments:

  1. I LOVE this outfit on you!
    The soft colours make your complexion glow. The clean lines are similiar to your "pins". The texture of the scarf and pattern on the pants add fun, but don't "wear" you! The top is feminine without being girly. I've watched you buy and return so many things that weren't right for what you said you wanted to look like. This defines for me how you look best in your new role. Bravo!!
    OK, rant over, but I really like this look on you Wendy! You look comfortable, chic and "own" this look!

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  2. Another look sees the hemline shape of the top is flattering and adds length to your legs making you appear taller. Your tops should all be hemmed this length. OK, really done now. Have a great day!

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    1. Oh rant away! That is really funny - and the reason you know how to do this and I still struggle - I first had on a lovely tulle over cotton boxy top by Pink Tartan. It is lovely and was expensive and was doing nothing for me so I took it off and grabbed the old joe fresh tank from the closet! Is the hemline flattering because of the slight dip in front? Inquiring minds need to know! or is it the length only?

      I appreciate the great analysis and good advice!

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    2. Wendy, as a shorty with short legs (not as fine as your pins) and a long torso, I hem up most of my silk tops etc. A small length change really does make a great optical leg length difference without having to wear heels, and just looking more proportioned. It also allows me to have tops that don't look like tunics but aren't riding up when I do stuff. I do buy into the have less but have it tailored to you - out of necessity.

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    3. well you are so much smarter than I! i am always so lazy about that stuff and it is usually just lucky happenstance when it works! Will revisit some things today to see what can be salvaged!

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    4. The shaped hemline is a feminine detail and does add length, but where it stops on your outside hip is the biggest lengthening property of it. Boxy, stiff tulle sounds wrong on you. Even with soft cotton underneath. The outside silhouette would add bulk to your chest area. Boxy anywhere seems wrong on you. BTW, I have a knit pencil skirt that is fabulous. Soft, non confining, great with flats. It's a cotton T-shirt fabric, self lined with small amount of Lycra for "memory". And best of all, it's from Target! Pencil skirts are so flattering when you have great gams like you do. Just be on the look out for ones that are comfortable. In general, woven fabrics with no Lycra or stretch are not going to be a flattering on you as knits. Structured knits should play a large roll in your wardrobe. OK...I could go on and on and on and...sorry. I'm bad when I get started :-)
      Have a great day!

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    5. Jennifer - I wish you would go shopping with me! Your explanation makes perfect sense to me and looking at the picture I can see that! Will keep my eyes peeled for these kind of skirts in coming weeks when I am travelling since after closer purge this am, I have 4 summer skirts to my name! Am feeling quite good about it!

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  3. Hi Wendy,
    I have pondered the "uniform" idea as I have read everyone's blog posts devoted to the subject. For myself, my stalwart favorites are a tank and cardigan, as I hate layers on my arms, and love sweaters. However, I think people worry so much about favoring one style over another, when in reality I think what most people pull out of a closet time and time again are the clothes that are comfortable. No, I don't mean sweatpants, I mean the pieces that really suit ones shape-i.e the skirt that doesn't bind or ride up, or need a too long top to look attractive. The pencil skirt that was gorgeous in early fall after 3 months of swimming might not feel as flattering in January after a cold winter hibernation, even if it still zips. The Paige? pants that you adore are a great example of how confident a great fitting item makes you feel. I try to be open minded, because otherwise I look in my closet and feel I have nothing to wear, because everything looks the same. I love that styles and fashions change.Obviously I have a bent towards clothing of a similar tone as all of the readers of yours and similar blogs, but I like to think that I am still willing to try something different too. I just need to be honest with myself about fit, lifestyle, and budget constraints. Uniform or not, you look smashing in the last photo!

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    1. HI KNityarns - I definitely hear you! What I realize are that trousers and dresses generally make me feel more comfortable and chicer than pencil skirts, though a few flowy skirts that i have are also wonderful. I think that we all have different style personalities, but if you keep putting something back in your closet and I still sadly have a lot of those - it is clear that you are not buying the right things. Everything in my closet fits so that it is not the issue. The issue is that I do not love a lot of them or they are not the image I want to present anymore. Am definitely having a midlife style crisis! YOu are right about the Paige - I wore those to death in the winter as they looked good with everything I had in my closet - they made me feel great whenever I wore them - they were the basic item that other things got layered on that were so comfortable and chic and not fussy. My problem has always been loving EVERYTHING! and then not wearing it! :-)

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  4. I love everything you've pinned. My day is outfit is always flats and skinny trousers or my pea coat, flat boots and flared jeans in autumn/winter. I've been dressing the same way since I was in secondary school.

    I really liked that outfit above I wore to have lunch with mum , but it's not my usual style at all, I was dressing for mum that day, it perks her up so I happily do it once a month.

    I think you look so released, happy and you in the last pic.

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    1. relaxed not 'released' - that just out of jail look!

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    2. I like released! And I may give away or sell most of my pencils, but I am keeping "our skirt"!

      you are lucky you discovered your style so early! I always had a simple uniform for work that worked, it is this new casual life, that still needs to be stylish and not veering into sweatpants sitting on the couch, that I am struggling with!

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  5. Wendy,you look great in the last pic!

    I think style is an evolution and we never reach the point when we are "done".

    Tabitha's post was great and pointy shoes are so "her".

    Not sure how i would describe my style. I`adore Jenna and her boy/girl mix and i wish i could pull it off like her.
    I love skinny jeans, always wear heels and adore bracelets.






    Love the JC style guide and even though it is sometimes over the top,i aprecciate the styling.

    Thanks for the link love!!

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    1. HI Ina! I like Jenna's boy girl mix but mostly it doesn't look so grand on me - I wish it did! Maybe a hint! I think you do have a uniform - we all recognize an Ina outfit when we see it!

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  6. You're doing great and looking great. I'll be honest, I like the straight hair but looooove the curls. I am a believer that simplicity, whether with clothes, make up, or words ( you get your point across a whole lot faster) is better.

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    1. HI Teresa! I think you are right! I like the curls best, too, but have been going through a "I'm bored with my hair" period, so decided I will straighten it once a week as it feels like a big change! Now, I am going to the hair dresser tomorrow so maybe she will change that!

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    2. Well, I guess I am no longer incognito. Wonder how that happened. Feel a bit bit awkward having my entire name up there. Oh well :)

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    3. It is always a shock, isn't it? Well I am glad you chimed in, but feel free to going back to being incognito! :-D

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  7. PINS ARE IN Hi WMM. My name is GF and I have a uniform. I think maybe, like Tabs, those of us who wore them through school are more prone to either adopt as adult or rebel totally. Left to my own devices my formula is skinny pants, jeans or trousers (things that are forgiving about cat hair, biking, tuck easily into boots); a striped tee/ silk shell or Brora jersey top - visual interest; a cotton jacket; a necklace or scarf or bracelet. Add a thin cardi layer if cold. I try to wear less black. I still have too many shoes that are not practical for my current commutes, but not ready to tone down the heels yet. I wear more skirts and dresses in summer, easy to throw on in heat. If I have stopped buying one thing, it is outfits/ items that only go with one other thing in my closet. I have also sorted non-uniform outfits: interview, funeral, last-minute party, work event... fully at the ready (helps me not stress.)

    I try to buy one piece a season that is outside my comfort zone, but speaks to me. I, like many of us, am a work in progress. Enjoy the process. And I agree, calm working closet, cooler head.

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    1. that is exactly what I plan to do - put aside two suits for each season for work/party events/funeral but put offside and get rid of a lot of the rest. If I hold onto the suits and some of the dressy things too long, they will go out of style and be of no use to anyone so would rather let them go now. Though I expect to do some consulting, is not the same as needing 5-10 work outfits so people don't see you wearing the same thing M-F 9-5. Just need to let some of it go, and am thinking that some of the women I used to work with might benefit from from excesses...

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    2. Excellent summary, GF. I need to do more preparing for certain events so that I have less anxiety. I am getting there but not completely.

      Do you have any favourite bike friendly pants?

      I've decided that I'm just going to cull my wardrobe by getting bike grease on everything.

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    3. Hah Abby. I don't bike nearly as much as I used to (schedule changes, scary city incident and we are in middle of a construction zone at present). But JC minnies are my usual choice (know not everyone could get away with these at an office, but I pack heels.)

      When I biked more, I did buy one pair of these from Outlier and definitely got my mileage out of them:
      http://shop.outlier.cc/shop/retail/women-s-daily-riding-pant.html (scroll down for colours, close-ups.) With a blouse, jacket and good shoes they did not look too "tech fabric" and the back waist and gussets were huge on fall comfort, plus I could fit a silk baselayer under (I am not graceful, hate tugging.) I also found a pair of pant bike clips I could actually use at MEC. Will look to see what brand they are.

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    4. Hi GF, thanks for the reply! For some reason I never find myself using pant bike clips - but maybe yours are the miracle ones :)

      I have spent far too much time on the Outlier website in the past. I am nervous to pull the trigger on an online pants purchase, though, since I rarely find pants that fit. I know I could return them, but since the likelihood of them not fitting is high, I can't be bothered. I'll be in California in December and am hoping I can try on a pair there. I think that if they fit, I'd live in them, as they look like good climbing pants too.

      Nau also makes good functional urban wear, but their fit is all over the place and I don't know how great their quality is since they got bought out (they used to have amazing quality).

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    5. Oh, I forgot that Outlier doesn't have any retail stores outside of Brooklyn. Hmm. Well, I'll probably order them someday!

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    6. Abby, the fabric on the pants is fantastic (and I hate poly, skin feel of much tech clothing). Remind me of really good quality jophurs if that is any frame of reference, and look good with a longer jacket. Are cut straight and a bit on smaller side IMO. Since I am very pear-shaped I sized up to a 4. Had to hem and take in the waist a bit, but both basic alterations. But rise is not bad, and as you size up they also have a bit larger leg opening, which I find easier with the winter dress in dark, sock layers etc. Sometime soon when I pull out my clothes storage box I will take some photos and email you. (They are more of a not-summer item for me.) I really think they might be winners for you.

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  8. What a good process to look at not just your favourite pinterest inspirations but your best outfits as well, there's definitely a theme there!
    I think it's a huge trick to be well-dressed when the end result is just staying at home, let's face it if you're not sitting at a desk a pencil skirt is not very comfy. ( I get so frustrated in them because I can't walk properly, I do have one in my wardrobe just now that I've worn a few times this summer, but only for dinners, it's my long black no2 pencil in the cotton, I quite like that one. But just the one!)
    You've got your uniform down methinks! Have you torn all of the things you don't wear out of your closet? I like seeing empty space in my day-to-day closet, it makes getting dressed much more soothing.

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    1. Am off to do that this morning while Barry goes flying! Has been driving me mad all summer as I realized that there were mistakes and past lives all entwined! I will definitely keep 2 or 3 of the skirts but that will be it!

      Plus I decided I needed to make room in my closet for my next iteration! you know - what I will wear when doing readings, etc!!! heehee! Are you away now or still at home?

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    2. Dani, I think your "at peace" wardrobe has really inspired a lot of us.

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    3. Thanks Abby! That's nice of you to say. Sometimes I feel that by writing about it on my blog I'm just torturing others. ;)
      Barry is flying, oh great something else for me to worry about! Please tell him to be super careful. Home for a few hours and then we're off, I have to pack up this morning and get some exercise in before the long drive.

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    4. I tell him not to die every time, so hope that helps! I do find it nerve-wracking, especially since I am NOT a good flyer!

      I have just done a major gut of the closet - it is quiet disconcerting! Now one last look to see if I am being too nice to myself!

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  9. Wendy, you look great in all of those outfits! I think it's a good idea to store away some of the other clothes for the time being. I know just what you mean about "noise."

    Yes, Tabitha's post made me think. My style is still a little chaotic, but perhaps less than it used to be.

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    1. That Tabs! Making us work like that!!! I will keep some for "in case" but don't need all and some things were just mistakes!

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  10. Your hair looks great and you are glowing in the last picture. I think you look great in skinny pants/fancy pants and flowy tops.

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    1. thanks A!

      I have been working in my bedroom for 2 hours - it is pouring rain (again!) so it keeps me busy!

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  11. I love how the straight hair looks on you! Great!

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  12. A wonderful thing about having a blog is the collection of photos that help you look back on what worked and what didn't.

    I see J.Crew as a big mish mash this season. Nothing works really well and it all seems just a bit off. Maybe it's me because others seem to find things to like but I am making more funny faces than smiles. I do know what styles I like but have made some seriously bad detours along the way and I know I am not done yet. I think I have a pretty good sense of my own style and never at a loss for something to wear so no need to rethink at this point.

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  13. Wow, you've given us a lot to think about in this post! I notice that all the pinterest models have enviably long hair. I love the first image of black outfit and scarlet heels and I'm planning to copy it, as well as trying heels with cropped jeans. I've never thought too much about my personal style but on my Miss Cellany site I join Patti's Visible Monday most weeks and now realize that I am a rather plain, monochrome dresser, not much into patterns and with a colour palette in the pink/ blue/ mauve range. I do like pointy, glamourous shoes but they don't like me -I've got feet like tug boats!

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    1. Oh starting to write over as I stopped to look at your lovely blogs and then accidentally deleted what I wrote! You are just beautiful and love, love, love your hair! I love the black and scarlett shoes as well and want to copy that this week! If your feet are tugboats, while mine are going there and they do hate most shoes!!! They have quite the awful attitude about doing anything I want them too! So glad you connected here - off to read you wonderful blogs in detail!

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  14. I thought you've done quite the 360 with a more relaxed look. Don't get rid of the fancy pants as really suit you. Before retirement it was a whirlwind and you have extra time to think things out.
    I also love the hair straightened. Nice that you 're able to switch it up.

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    1. Hi Marsha - that is the one joy of naturally curly hair - you can easily have it both ways!!! I don't think I could get rid of the fancy pants - they are awfully fun and I sure stick out around here!

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  15. My fave is the bottom photo of you, hair straightened brings out the gorgeous colour of your hair and your eyes, think also that green scarf with the sleeveless white top and the patterned pants are just perfection. The thing is - I noticed your face first and how pretty you are - and isn't that what the exactly right outfits are all about? Also those palazzo pants in the other pic look great on you. Think Jennifer of A Well Styled Life says what i'm trying to say beautifully...

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    1. thanks! I wish it wasn't so long to straighten it, but I do like it both ways!

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  16. Hi Wendy, I agree with ALW above - with the straight hair your face is the first thing I notice. Your skin looks lovely - do you have any particular tips? (Having said that though, I do love your curls - you are lucky you can do both!)

    I'm a pretty plain dresser - I wear very few accessories, even though I love the look on others - and I like simple lines.

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    1. I have lots of accessories but i hardly wear them, so I think that is a sign...

      My skin tips - stay out of sun and eat a lot of veggies and don't smoke :-)

      Just kidding! Everyone knows that! I don't do much at all - I use LaRoche Posay cleansing milk, nars moisturizer and their hyrdrating toner (but only 3 times a week) and their tinted moisturizer in one of the fairest shades (maybe alaska?) Hope that helps! Mostly my skin is thanks to my mom!

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  17. Hi Wendy, you look stunning in that last photo - good for you for listening to your gut instinct and wearing an outfit that you felt happy in. The straight hair looks excellent on you! It looks like you are well on your way to developing a signature style. I, on the other hand, am completely lost. My life has gone through a huge amount of transition in the past few years. On top of that, I spent that last 10 years working in a corporate career with strict rules on dress - I basically ended up wearing a uniform that was set for me. I often feel like I am starting out at square one these days, a complete style newbie!

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    1. Thanks Louise! I think I am always going to be a newbie, but I am getting there! i need to go back and read Jennifer's posts on inverted pyramid shaped women - would be helpful! I guess style is always evolving based on, well, popular style, tastes, age, work circumstances, etc. I am a work in progress...

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Kindness is a virtue...