Thursday, June 13, 2013

The-Everything-Is-Bad-For-You-So-Nothing-is-Post

I am fighting a cold today, so perhaps my immune system is down for the count (Tabs - can those germs be passed via telephone wires?) and therefore my generally sunny disposition is slightly overcast, but I have decided that I am officially off any food, drink or health advice.

Yesterday, while cleaning out the fridge I was listening to the TV.

It turns out that:


  • sugar will kill you
  • wheat will kill you
  • eggs will kill you
  • alcohol will kill you
  • too much water/too little water will kill you
  • dairy will kill you
  • meat will kill you (and someone else first!)
  • certain vegetables will kill you
  • Bananas and Carrots should be reserved for holy days
  • Too much sex will kill you
  • Too little sex will kill you
  • Negative emotions will kill you (uh oh)
  • The sun will kill you
  • Asteroids could kill you
  • Cell phones will kill you
  • Anything cooked will kill you
  • Anything raw will kill you
  • Chemicals will kill you
  • Bacteria that the chemicals are designed to kill will kill you
  • Religion and Spirituality will kill you
  • Non-Believing will kill you
  • Red wine is good/red wine is bad
  • Fat makes you fat/fat makes you skinny
  • Carbs make you fat/carbs make you skinny
  • Shopping is good for the economy/Shopping is bad for the economy and the planet

It is all too much and too confusing, isn't it?

Then I had a bright idea!

source
Forget all of the advice!  

It is going to change next week/next month/next talking head anyway!

It reminds me of the old saying that used to get passed around via email:

An Irishman's Philosophy
In life, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you are well or you are sick.

If you are well, there is nothing to worry about,
But if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you will get well or you will die.
If you get well, there is nothing to worry about,

But if you die, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you will go to heaven or hell.

If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.

And if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends
You won’t have time to worry!
So, just for today, here is my advice, which you should all take with a grain of salt:

  1. Always choose the happier route
  2. Eat what you want, just not too much, and try to eat some fruits and vegetables
  3. Cook your own food if you can
  4. When you eat, be thankful for the food, and the field or animal that created it, and the person who got it to you
  5. Wine is your friend
  6. Surround yourself with people who love you for you and who like you and who treat you like gold - everyone deserves to be treated like gold
  7. Tell the truth as you know it, but sometimes, you should keep your mouth shut
  8. Be joyful and kind and curious
  9. If something doesn't feel right to you, it isn't right for you.  That is different than something being hard - lots of hard things are good for us and teach us
  10. if the aliens/asteroids/zombies or sickness come - put on your nicest outfit, your most uncomfortable but beautiful shoes, some red lipstick and place that big order to Neiman Marcus that you always wanted to place - hello couture - and remember - there was a reason why they gave  soldiers rum rations in the war!  As my son always used to say to me and once famously drew: Never forget who you are general!

That's me.  No comments on riding crop, please...

Thought I would end by sharing a picture of the underbelly of a little dragonfly  visitor to my screen door last night.  The pattern on his wings reminds me of semaphore flags.  Perhaps he had a message for me: "Wendy - eat and drink what you want!"  Thank you dragonfly, I will...



Have a great Thursday and stay safe out there!

49 comments:

  1. wise, wise advice! Reminds me of Michael Pollan's diet adage, “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”

    Except he forgot about the wine (which studies show in moderation is great for the heart, so they say right now...) and cheering effect of red lipstick!

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    1. I love Michael Pollan! It is very discouraging to me, all of this advice!

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    2. I think he drinks plenty of wine!

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  2. Wendy, I am catching up here after a crazy couple of weeks, and boy did I miss the "club" (and of course, George). Your post is so timely as I am also putting my General cap on to fight what I call the "stress bugs" (when terrible stress creates insomnia, and insomnia wreaks havoc, you know how that goes). My husband and I make a point of only buying fresh produce rather than processed foods, and are switching to organic gradually. We don't smoke or drink, but we also don't sound all that fun, do we?

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    1. A.B. - I don't drink a lot, but I certainly enjoy it when I do!!! Feel free to borrow the riding crop when you need it!! My first farm box comes next week but last night we ate some lettuce from garden that was so good!

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  3. Ha, just make sure that grain is natural, unrefined sea salt instead of highly processed, chemically treated, almost pure sodium chloride they call white table salt.

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    1. HA! TR, if it is french sea salt, it is for me. If it is french wine, it is for me. If it is french food, it is for me. and so on and so on.

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  4. OMG...I'm a dead woman. I love your attitude, it will all change tomorrow, if I'm lucky.

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  5. Hi Wendy,
    I can only agree with what has already been said... I am so convinced that the right food is one key of happiness... But I so love you attitude, yes worries do not help things to get better... I am sure you will be OK. No food advice: get some rest. Have a lovely day and thanks a million for visiting me!

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    1. Steph - I do agree - good fresh food is a thing of beauty that nourishes us in many ways!

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  6. Replies
    1. especially to get ready for the zombies - Tabs tells me they are coming - she has seen them in Scotland...

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  7. Ah, your list of don'ts really made me laugh!

    Hope you don't get that cold. Tea and sleep is my go-to cure.

    I am so sick of all the conflicting advice, I guess it keeps us all entertained.

    I am reading an excellent book right now that you might enjoy, Kitchen Table Wisdom, by Rachel Naomi Remen.

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    1. Oh that sounds good! I am off to look for that on my kindle!

      I am at the point where I am tuning it out. I heard one fellow advise us to do some math on our carbohydrates and eat a lot of bacon. Really?

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  8. I guess its best to enjoy life:)

    Although i try to cook healthy,it is not easy to do everything perfect.If its just all rules,there is no more fun.
    Like you said moderation is key!

    Btw. i posted a pic on my blog of my legs,so you can see how they look with Dove selftanning lotion.
    It is just a mild tan and super easy like a lotion!

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    Replies
    1. Oh awesome! Just got up, so will hie me over to take a look!

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  9. Hoping you are on the mend. Get some rest, it will all be there tomorrow.

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    1. we hope.... didn't you notice the asteroid, zombie part? Loving your posts this week!

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    2. The world can not end until after I have grandbabies...which won't be for at least 10 more years.

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    3. and then you need another ten years with them..

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  10. Amen to everything you said. You are such a wonder, feeling under the weather and you still manage to write such a brilliant post. I will be under the covers feeling sorry for myself. Hope you feel better soon. To the food advice, let me just say there are spiritual aspects of sugar, butter and cream that I cannot give up.

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    1. Marie - I second that. I think I once saw eternity in a chocolate cake (not a grain of sand as mr. blake once said!)

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  11. I have stopped taking notice of these things as well. One day red wine is good for you then it isn't, same with caffeine, fruit etc. I can't keep up. We must carry on. As you were General!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/jun/07/vitamins-stop-taking-the-pills

      While we are on the subject - look at what article I just found!!

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  12. Excellent advice and very funny post! I am a total glutton who drinks far too much, but I am happy!
    Reminds me of Joe Jackson's song 'Everything gives you cancer'. I love Joe Jackson and that song is just so true!

    Love your dragonfly underbelly!

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    1. Ruth, if I ever form a band, will call it Dragonfly Underbelly!

      I love Joe Jackson, too!

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  13. That advice list is spot on! I am killing myself laughing at the picture, I love it, it's so funny and I love where your brain wanders off to - the dragonfly is definitely sending you a semiphore message!


    Oh and apologies for germing you up over the phone, you'll have a weird Scottish strain now, and it will spread and all fingers will point to me.

    Looked at the pic again - dying!

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    1. My god Tabs - it isn't the zombie cold, is it??? :-)

      I could be getting dotty, you know - I am home alone a lot and writing weird things...

      I had that picture over my desk for the longest time - it came home with me happily. I will likely start talking with a scottish burr (I almost wrote brogue there - I am still thick, but am getting over cold) and looking for blood pudding!

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  14. It sounds like you are feeling like I feel every time I see the latest fad on what (not) to eat. If people would just use moderation and common sense rather than constantly chasing after the latest "fix" they would be a lot more content with life.

    Hope you feel better soon.

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    1. Hi xoxo - agree completely! I am starting to come around! Off to buy more kleenex!

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  15. Summer colds don't seem at all fair, do they. Sounds like we are all fine in terms of lifestyle. I think my kale vaccinates me against my other vices.

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    1. I put a cup of kale in my fruit smoothie every day at lunch. Grosses Barry out! But I like it and seeing all the green flakes makes me feel virtuous!

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  16. Wendy if we all listen to you we'll be fine! And laughing!

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  17. Oh and can I use that line too, 'never forget who you are General'
    I think that pic would be perfect for your sidebar.

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    1. Oh good idea! By all means, put it to good use!

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  18. Love the addition of the General to the sidebar!

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    1. That Dani has good ideas! I feel that Tory Burch may have based one of her pre-fall outfits on our lady general...

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  19. Everything in moderation but noone wants to hear that because it doesn't sell any books and TV shows!

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    1. I know! My advice book would be a slim tome! Now your advice book - that would be a good one! You have to do one on motherhood!

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  20. My grandfather ate whatever he wanted and lived to be 98, so there is that. I am at the point where I hardly pay attention the the studies touted on the news. They have a 24 hour news cycle to fill and they need something to talk about. I hope you are feeling better soon!

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    1. Thanks Cate! Good genes! I need those kind of genes!

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    2. Well my other grandfather died at age 52 or so, so I'm not sure which genes I'm going to get.

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  21. I love the Irishman advice, it reminds me a bit of Socratis via Plato (you know, you shouldn't worry about death because if you are, death isn't and if death is you are not. Not sure about my translation), but in more cheerful.
    Writing definitely suits you, it looks like it is a way for you to overcome the negativity in life (better then the bottle).

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    1. Ha! Love the Socrates and Plato reference - you are well versed in your philosophy! As for overcoming the negativity - I think you are right: you can;t keep a 50 year old optimist down for long!

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  22. Love it. Especially the picture. I am going to go have a piece of chocolate that may/may not be good/ bad for me....

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  23. Hi General,
    I've never bothered with any of that stuff. How about writing the next diet book and we can take the gang to visit Tabs.


















    Hope you're feeling better .

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Kindness is a virtue...