Hi All!
I am testing various blog template looks right now, so don't be surprised if we run through a few before I get done. I have enlisted Miss Get Fresh in this Great Campaign of 2013, but she had nothing to do with today's look, so if you don't like it, blame me! When it starts looking really good, it will be because of her!
So first things first. You recall my pinterest post of yesterday? if you do not, never fear, you didn't really miss anything..But you should know that I was talking about using pinterest to help me hone in on my style. I threatened to recreate a particularly colourful outfit that I loved and gosh darn if I didn't go and do it!
The original:
The Wendy version. Yippee! I am actually shopping my closet! It is all old (even my undies I think!):
Now really, how many of you would have the parts of this outfit in your closet already? Some of you are off to go make a garlic necklace to ward off the gaudy colour vampire. Never mind, I have good self-esteem!
Where did I go in this outfit? Well to get the dog his summer clipping. I am going on record right now in saying that I am certain that I was the most colourful customer of the day!
To be comfy and to wear them, the 2008 Normandy espadrilles:
There is no purpose for the next picture except that it is a nice one of me and I always feel I need to share those as I post so many bad ones!
There, the ego god is done and actually humbled as I can see my toilet - it definitely looks like I need a new roll of toilet paper and now that this is enlarged it looks like I am looking off into the distance in some kind of trance-like state. Let's just let this go, shall we?
The subject i really wanted to talk about today is reconnecting. Many of you will know that for the last several years, I was working almost constantly. When I wasn't working I was taking care of my children. That left no time for me and no time for friends. I think I saw my best friend 12 times last year, maybe less.
As I transition into this new life, I have to remind myself to pick up the phone and make plans. Days will still go by when I realized that apart from my husband, my children and you all (all of whom are very important!) I am not connecting outside of the home. It is also difficult as I am the only 50 year old non-worker I know around here right now. I do have a couple of friends who have retired and one who is about to, but I see that I have almost completely gotten out of the habit of being social for play reasons.
I can't be the only one in this boat. For some of us, this isolation begins when we have young children - we are so busy and it is hard to balance it all. When we do socialize we tend to look for people with kids the age of ours so that we can bring them along because a) we can't find a babysitter b) we can't afford a babysitter c) we are trying to socialize the little mites!
Then you seem to outgrow those friends a bit once your children decide they don't want to play with THOSE children anymore. And then you can go out again because your oldest is now able to babysit your youngest, but then they get their drivers licenses and sometimes you all flip a coin as to who really needs the car the most and it doesn't matter by then because you are working all the time as you have been promoted and you are too tired to go out anyway. Phew!
So I am now in the process of reminding myself to reconnect with my friends and hopefully will begin to make new friends along the way as well, since I will have more time to nurture those friendships. But it doesn't seem as easy at age 50 as it was at age 30 and I find I am also picky. I don't want friendships to be work; I want them to be about having fun and enjoying myself and them.
So how about you - are your friendships in transition? Are you rekindling old friendships or making new ones?
I am testing various blog template looks right now, so don't be surprised if we run through a few before I get done. I have enlisted Miss Get Fresh in this Great Campaign of 2013, but she had nothing to do with today's look, so if you don't like it, blame me! When it starts looking really good, it will be because of her!
So first things first. You recall my pinterest post of yesterday? if you do not, never fear, you didn't really miss anything..But you should know that I was talking about using pinterest to help me hone in on my style. I threatened to recreate a particularly colourful outfit that I loved and gosh darn if I didn't go and do it!
The original:
The Wendy version. Yippee! I am actually shopping my closet! It is all old (even my undies I think!):
Now really, how many of you would have the parts of this outfit in your closet already? Some of you are off to go make a garlic necklace to ward off the gaudy colour vampire. Never mind, I have good self-esteem!
Where did I go in this outfit? Well to get the dog his summer clipping. I am going on record right now in saying that I am certain that I was the most colourful customer of the day!
To be comfy and to wear them, the 2008 Normandy espadrilles:
There is no purpose for the next picture except that it is a nice one of me and I always feel I need to share those as I post so many bad ones!
There, the ego god is done and actually humbled as I can see my toilet - it definitely looks like I need a new roll of toilet paper and now that this is enlarged it looks like I am looking off into the distance in some kind of trance-like state. Let's just let this go, shall we?
The subject i really wanted to talk about today is reconnecting. Many of you will know that for the last several years, I was working almost constantly. When I wasn't working I was taking care of my children. That left no time for me and no time for friends. I think I saw my best friend 12 times last year, maybe less.
As I transition into this new life, I have to remind myself to pick up the phone and make plans. Days will still go by when I realized that apart from my husband, my children and you all (all of whom are very important!) I am not connecting outside of the home. It is also difficult as I am the only 50 year old non-worker I know around here right now. I do have a couple of friends who have retired and one who is about to, but I see that I have almost completely gotten out of the habit of being social for play reasons.
I can't be the only one in this boat. For some of us, this isolation begins when we have young children - we are so busy and it is hard to balance it all. When we do socialize we tend to look for people with kids the age of ours so that we can bring them along because a) we can't find a babysitter b) we can't afford a babysitter c) we are trying to socialize the little mites!
Then you seem to outgrow those friends a bit once your children decide they don't want to play with THOSE children anymore. And then you can go out again because your oldest is now able to babysit your youngest, but then they get their drivers licenses and sometimes you all flip a coin as to who really needs the car the most and it doesn't matter by then because you are working all the time as you have been promoted and you are too tired to go out anyway. Phew!
So I am now in the process of reminding myself to reconnect with my friends and hopefully will begin to make new friends along the way as well, since I will have more time to nurture those friendships. But it doesn't seem as easy at age 50 as it was at age 30 and I find I am also picky. I don't want friendships to be work; I want them to be about having fun and enjoying myself and them.
So how about you - are your friendships in transition? Are you rekindling old friendships or making new ones?
Would love your thoughts on this issue of evolving friendships as we age! And as always: stay safe out there!
I believe you that you were the most colorful customer at the groomer. That is one bright outfit and obviously it makes you smile.
ReplyDeleteAh, making new friends. This really resonates with me. I've had to do it a few times. I went to boarding school and each year there were some friends gone and some new students. Coming home for summer it was a similar scene and we moved to a new home when I was in grade 2 so that was a big adjustment as well. I moved across the continent for college and then to Canada to live with my husband. Each time it was like starting over.
Even with the internet it is difficult to keep most friendships and I do spend online time connecting with family as a priority. At least in Calgary most people it seems are from somewhere else so pretty open to meeting people but I work so much and spend days in the country where we are fairly isolated since my husband is such a private person. I am fine with privacy but it does limit the social network. I'm thankful for the friends I do have and hope we will stay friends through the family years. I imagine it will be like you said though, I'll naturally see out friends with children close to the same age. I could move to another country for my job and if my husband ever gets sick of running the family business here that could be a adventure but then again, starting over.
I'm sure you will find a way to reconnect. I see you as so open and good-natured, people would likely gravitate to you if given the chance.
thanks for sharing xoxo - I do have friends, but I have dreadfully gotten out of the habit of picking up the phone. YOu are inspiring me to do so! I am blown away by all your moves! But I think Calgary would be an easy place to make friends for the reason you note!
DeleteWhat a topic, Wendy! I can relate: since my early 20s, I had a leadership job at a large company and went to college full-time at night. My last 2 years of college where spent at a tier 1 research university, where I met my core group of friends. After graduation, we all spread out all over the country. I moved to the East Coast to go to graduate school for my doctorate, and as many academics can attest to, the tenure clock begins from the moment you accept your offer, so nurturing my friendships got put on the backburner. I am still working on that balance, and perhaps not succeeding. In the meantime, I managed to get married, which further alienated me from the world, especially my single friends. Why does everybody feel like you change when you get married? I didn't. Long story short, I have many friends. Every time we see each other we pick up right were we left off, but sadly we don't see each other very often. I keep telling myself that when grad school starts slowing down, I'll do more, but the reality is, asgrad school winds down, the job search ramps up. Oy. As I said, what a topic.
ReplyDeletewe do all work awfully hard, don't we? I do think these things are cyclical and I am entering a new cycle. It sounds like you have been doing that quite a bit in the last few years and still have another big one to go through very soon! It is funny - we often put our friends on the backburner because of jobs, family responsibilities, etc, but the older I get the more I realize that your friendships are so key!
DeleteI am completely stumped on this one, I have next to no one around me now apart from mum and hubs, it really is starting to make me feel a bit miserable; at least once a week, I have the "I feel a bit lost and lonely weep" which feels a bit pathetic approaching 50.
ReplyDeleteI'm finding this font a little bit too small - then again ageing eyeballs!
The font is hard for me to read as well - size and shape.
DeleteTabs - it is official - time to come to Canada!!!!
DeleteOkay ladies - will work on font!
I love that you had those colours in your wardrobe, Wendy! You look so nice in your second picture. And whatever you're doing with your make up post-NYC is really working for you.
ReplyDeleteFriends, hm. I think I'm pretty decent now at making and maintaining friendships. I didn't used to be, but I have moved a lot and one thing that moving teaches you is how important community is.
We had a very lonely first year and a half here, and then we figured out how to find and make friends here (the ex-pat scene around here is a little odd as there are a lot of bankers and re-insurance people and it turns out those aren't really "my people," nice though they may be). I find it's important to be the one organizing things (nothing complicated, just initiating the coffee date, etc.), to send friendly hello texts, etc. I really put myself out there now, and it is a good thing.
I have also learned to be better about keeping in touch with old friends. I used to be rather bad at this. I am still close with people from kindergarten on up.
I set up Skype dates, make sure to see everyone when I'm home, try to travel to the cities that I used to live in at least once every five or so years (nothing like seeing people in person), always host people if they're visiting my area or here for work, etc. I also send postcards when I think of it.
A small trick that I find quite nice is when I see something that makes me think of someone, I take a picture with my phone and send it with a brief message. I find email pretty cumbersome for keeping in touch, and the photos are a little "thinking of you" that doesn't create an expectation of a long email reply.
Abby - those are great ideas!! I have made two lunch dates for the next week as well as a Saturday brunch date with some of my favourite ladies, so I am getting better, but I had to remind myself that I actually have time to do this.
DeleteAbby, totally imitating the photo thing! That's a fab, short and sweet connection with meaning.
DeleteThanks GF! It's also a great way to reach out to people that you're not exactly out of touch with, but haven't talked to in too long either. It's somehow nicer and better for breaking the ice than "Dear So and So, how are you, it has been too long," etc.
DeleteOh, another thing I try to do with people is to make plans (even tentative) for the next thing that we'll do together. It can be as vague as just coming up with an idea (oh, we should go see that exhibit together) or making a specific plan. It's like making your next haircut appointment before you leave the salon. Ha.
DeleteGotcha! Most things in life definitely easier to stay on top of it keep up the momentum than re-start (fitness comes to mind as well.) But when we lapse, just have to get back out there.
DeleteYes, consistency being the key to everything, and all that :)
DeleteWith life beeing so busy it is hard to keep up with friends.
ReplyDeleteMost of mine are all over since we moved across the ocean two times.
I try to write emails regularly,but sometimes life is in the way:)
I find americans way easier to be-friend than germans.
Love the colors in your outfit,i havent color-blocked yet:)
That is interesting Ina - it sounds like it might be a cultural thing? When we lived out west in Canada, I thought they weren't as friendly as easterners. Now I think it might be the place I was at the time. I do know that some cultures are much friendly than others and easier to break into their circles!
DeleteIna, I can say the same for the Swiss!
DeleteWMM, as a fellow non-West Coaster, I think there's something, socially speaking, out there that is hard for us to grasp.
Color suits you so well. That is the perfect outfit for those cute espadrilles. I agree keeping in touch has been a challenge for me. I know email is more convenient but I still use the phone when I want to keep in touch with family and friends. Time constraints may make these not as frequent as I like but it works out. I am amazed that even if I have not been in touch with friends for months, when we do meet up it's like we were never out of touch.
ReplyDeleteMarie - I always think that is a sign of a true kindred spirit - you keep talking as if the conversation never ended!!!
DeleteI think it does get more difficult as we get older. My best friend Berna is an extrovert so I definitely see her, she "pops-in" for a glass of wine once a week or so. She was here last evening, we chat for an hour and a half and get all caught up.
ReplyDeleteI tend to be an introvert and I like to be alone but I also like being with my good friends, that roster has changed a bit the last few years, the friends I hang out with, well we are all super busy and we have to make the time. Making lunch dates is key. So is the pop-in! Maybe you and your bf could start to do the pop-in? It's always fun to hear Berna yelling "I'm doing the pop-in!!" Then I have to run to make sure I have a bottle of wine in the fridge!
I think it is very difficult for many people, especially depending on neighbourhood. Though I live in a city our house is in the historical downtown, it's a neighbourhood that really encourages walking and most of our friends live nearby. We never have to drive to go to parties for example. So it's just easier to be social.
If I lived in the country I'd become a hermit pretty quickly I think!
Hi Dani - love Berna's pop-ins! We live out in the country, so the walking pop-in isn't possible with any of my close-friends, but you are right - now that the weather is good, there is no reason not to do so in the evenings. I am having lunch with a good friend today and have another couple of dates booked. And we have plans this weekend. I just need to get my butt in motion I think!
DeleteFun to change up the blog template WMM! Love pink and orange together too. :)
ReplyDeleteFriends are tricky when you get a bit older, for all those reasons you've mentioned. I'm a little nervous to be moving now, but am more confident than I normally would be, as I'm moving near my hometown, and have quite a few childhood friends still in the area. I find that with those friends, one can pick up almost right where you left off, without any bad feelings for having "stepped away" for a few years. Making new "mom" friends is a bit harder for me, as I'm more introverted, and also have a son with some special needs that sometimes isolates me a bit. So, I'm committed to really making an extra effort when we move to reach out to new people and neighbors to create some new and lasting friendships. Great topic!
Hi M! when is the actual moving day? Am so excited for you and for us as I want to see all that new stuff in your new house!
DeleteI agree that the mom friendships can be hard. I was lucky as I had a really good friend with a son the same age as my daughter and we saw each other a lot. And close friends would often have us bring our kids for an "overnighter" when we did dinner parties - we would put the kids to bed and talk and talk and talk!
I think you pulled off the red/pink outfit rather well. Still wondering what Barry thought.
ReplyDeletePlease don't be mad but since you are playing with your blog "devastatingly" in your WMM description is misspelled. Of course i misspelled it three times while typing. Sorry.
Being raised an army brat, I can "make" friends quite easily. However, I can't say I keep them. I am not one for a gaggle of buddies, just a few, and find most of my needs met with family. I find most women to be too busy and like any relationship, it takes a bit of work from both to keep it going. If I am thinking about you, I'll call, text, e-mail, whatever, at that moment if I can. Otherwise these days, like the name of the most common object, I will forget.
BB - I am now tempted to write "devastatingly attractive and a poor speller to boot!!!!" You are the first person to point that out to me - i do know how t spell it - I am a terrible one for typing too quickly!
DeleteBarry never said a word about the outfit, which I believe means he wasn't a fan. I didn't ask, because I didn't really care!!
I think we sound very similar in our approaches to friendship!
Red and pink outfit is fabulous, Wendy!
ReplyDeleteKeeping in touch with friends and connecting with new people can be hard. J & I have lived in so many different places (not to mention 9 countries) that our friends are scattered all over. I use Instagram and Facebook to keep in touch, and try to do a big trip once every 3-4 years and visit as many people as possible. It's hard, though.
In terms of making new friends, I think it does get harder as one gets older. I've made quite a few new friends since moving here, but it does take a while. We were lucky to have a lot of old friends here already that we'd met during our Japan days.
The hardest places to make new friends were (strangely enough) Italy and France. Japan, which I had imagined to be far more 'reserved' and tricky due to the language ended up being a place where I made far better and closer friends than during my entire time in Italy and France.
Hi Ruth - I am fascinated again (like in Abby's comments) about the cultural variation! I had heard the French are more reserved, but didn't think the Italians would be. So interesting!!!
DeleteIt surprised me too, Wendy. I had a somewhat romantic view of what life would be like living in Italy, and it was utterly different in reality. I found the city where we lived to be very parochial and quite 'closed'. We were only there for a year, but I hardly made any friends during that time, apart from an amazing woman who had travelled a lot (she was a judge, so perhaps a bit more worldly!).
DeleteInteresting! On of my dreams is to live for a few months in France and travel about - will have to pick carefully!
DeleteRuth, interesting that you have moved so much. Are you and your husband from the same country? My husband and I are also travellers, dual nationals, and from different countries. We're a soup.
DeleteI think that a lot of European cultures are quite "closed," at least compared to North America. That's not to say that people aren't nice or amenable to being friends, but it can be harder to penetrate all that tradition and the norms (oh, the norms).
My friends here are all ex-pats or outward-looking Swiss people (e.g. people who are dual-nationals, people who lived abroad, etc.). And, the ex-pats that you meet, no matter where they are from, are almost by definition more outward-looking!
Abby, I'm from the UK, My partner is Austrian! We've spent a lot of time moving, but have finally ended up in Australia.
DeleteIt's certainly true, in my experience, that people who have lived abroad or are dual-nationals tend to be more outward-looking. I lived in N America for a year in the late 80s and found many people there to be very open and friendly, certainly more so than in the UK, but perhaps less 'worldy' if that makes sense? I realise that this is a gross generalisation, of course!
I know what you mean, Ruth. One thing that has struck me about moving around is how appropriate regional stereotypes sometimes are! I am careful not to over generalise, of course, but sometimes it is amazing how accurate those stereotypes can be.
DeleteYour family is a soup too :) Australia, that's a far flung place to end up when neither of you is from there! I have some friends who have settled in NZ, and they are both Canadian.
The red and pink together look wonderful!
ReplyDeleteIt has been crazy busy over here and I am trying to catch up with blogs, so I missed all the changes that you have made to your blog - nice!!
Well, I am really introverted so it has been hard to make friends. As you said, having young children makes it even harder. I was lucky enough to become a member of a local mom's group when I had my first child in 2009, and I have since become really good friends with one of the women in the group. I lost touch with my high school group of friends when I went to Montreal for university, but I managed to hook up with them again after 15 years absence. They welcomed me back with open arms (they had stuck together during the whole time - I was the prodigal daughter, so to speak!). I make a point of making lunch dates with friends to keep up. It does take a bit of work but I don't mind. Everyone is so busy these days with their families and careers, it is easy to have the time slip by and lose touch.
Louise - that is so awesome that you picked back up! It can certainly be a challenge at certain times and i have felt very badly for the last several years that i have been so busy working that i neglected my friends!
Deletei adore your outfit wendy. and no i wouldn't have one piece of that in my closet...jealous!
ReplyDeletei'm so grateful to have a few good friends. 6 in all. we get together every week for dinner. we've been through it all together. friends are The Best. xo
I am like you - I have 5 or 6 good friends here and we are trying to get together at least once a month - once a week sounds glorious!
DeleteJUST FRIENDS WMM, I am with Janet above, and slightly jealous and duller for it.
ReplyDeleteAs for friendships, thanks to parents, school, early work etc. I think I managed to move 12 times in 15 years. So, although a bit of an introvert, I had to get good at making new friends. However, I have always been somewhat poor at keeping them long-term (very different lives, not wanting to miss people when in a new place.) Also found lots of travelling helped with the "just get out there, you're the stranger".
I did find Canada, other than Calgary/ mountains (with xoxo that many are from elsewhere), a very hard place to make friends compared to South America and the Caribbean, maybe because of more time spent indoors and less of a sense of extended "family" as part of culture. Maybe I was also spoiled by the hospitality community which tends to be a very social workplace?
Developing non-work interests (kayaking, a French class, volunteering) has helped. Working from home most of week I am also strict about making social appointments, otherwise I could easily hermit from November to March.
Most of all, I lament how friends tend to get segregated and lost based on whether or not you have children, if you are in a long-term relationship, incomes, things like divorce (that's starting for us now.) I know some of it is natural, but I also think lonely single friends deserve dinner invitations, not all childless couples mind hanging out with kids, pot lucks are fun for all, and neighbours might want to come along. Just ask.
Everyone who has said friendship takes some effort and if you want a bigger/ different circle you have to make the overture, is so right. But it is so worth it in the end.
I agree completely GF - I have always been lucky to have friends (me being so lovable and all!) but haven't been so good to my friends lately, so am trying much harder!!!
DeleteOh and I think you are right about times of the year, locations etc. and I also agree about single and the childless. I have a good friend who has never married and we always include him in any big events!
DeleteThere is a good chance we'll be the first in our social group to have kids (if/when we take that plunge) and I admit to being nervous about my social life!
DeleteIt does seem like people here are a bit more chill about having kids around, whereas some of my N. American friends act like a friendship ends when kids show up (and that comes from both sides, the new parents and the childless friends).
Anyway, I agree with you GF, and I make an effort to invite all people (single, childless, parents, etc) - even if they say no, at least they know they were invited.
Abby, funny how feeling included and wanting to belong (even if we choose not to attend), cliques, loners etc. keep on going right from grade school. So neat that you and your DH share 4 countries (love "soup".) That will be great for kids if/ when they arrive. And do keep the invitations open - trust me, your childless, un-coupled friends will appreciate it!
DeleteThanks for the kind words, GF. You and your DH are a similar soup, right? And you have many countries under your belt!
DeleteDH and I have three countries between us, and if we have a kid here, it will be tri-national but not Swiss (unless we stay long enough for it to apply for citizenship)!
In addition to being cultural, some areas are just kind of closed (ruth's word, but it fits). I've observed that in places that are not transient, people have known each other forever and their groups are often closed. They are nice and friendly people, but they are hard to get to know as a newcomer because they are busy with the friends they already have. My best friends have been made in transient settings (college, D.C., Colorado) or with other newcomers in settled places. Well that's not counting childhood, which was the opposite of transient and everyone knew everyone and I still have a good friend from those days.
ReplyDeleteI've developed an aversion to using the phone, and I stubbornly refuse to be on Facebook, so I've lost touch with some old friends (and even with current friendds). I've become a home-body too and don't travel to see people any more. On the other hand, I'll happily chat with anyone I meet and make lots of casual friends through mutual activities. I just never follow up outside of the activities.
Now that the weather is nice, I'm trying to call friends to take a walk, it's a cheap something to do and a good way to catch up. I'm also starting to see if people want to go to the movies now and then. I wish I liked to entertain, but the idea of a house full of people completely overwhelms me.
On to your outfit, I love it, it's cheerful and a perfect recreation of your inspiration photo. I just love those espadrilles, good use of the espadrilles!
Hi Cate! People say that a lot about where we live here - I have pretty much lived here since university (except for when we were out west) and have just gradually made friends along the way! But i know that people find it hard to break in or so I have heard. Not everyone likes to entertain - i like to do it now and then and when I do it is usually quite a blow-out. The espadrilles are going to be worn constantly this summer, I just know it!
DeleteCate, the walk is great, low commitment, easy, do it now idea! WMM, I do find parts of the Maritimes an anomaly, people are quite friendly and social, warm. So meeting people and new acquaintances is easy. But there's also a tight circle that's based on other connections and roots, so actual friendhip can take a lot longer. Ruth's closed works, in this case I would say bit "clannish" as well. My limited forays in smaller cities in UK have been similar. Nice to know you but hard to get to know you iykwim.
DeleteWell I am such an open book, people basically know me in about 5 minutes. Ask me a question, I'll tell you! The Martitimes are clannish. We are awfully proud of being from here, aren't we and having our people be from here and the fact that within 10 minutes of a conversation, you can figure out who you have in common!
DeleteGetFresh, that's it exactly (nice to know you but hard to get to know you).
DeleteI had an opportunity to go on a ski trip last winter with some women, only one of whom I know and we are not social outside of kids' sports. I didn't do it and was kicking myself afterwards for not going. The girl I know is super nice and I love to ski and I think it would have been fun. And here I am complaining about it being hard to get to know people, when they invite me along and I am too shy to go, ugh... I guess I might be part of the problem when it comes to making new friends! :)
Cate - I hear you - I am often shy to go away or go out with new people - i can be tongue-tied and uncomfortable!
DeleteI don't do Facebook either and not too fond of the phone.
DeleteHi WMM, great topic today. I have moved a lot throughout my life and have usually kept up with at least one or two good friends from each place. I found it easier when the kids were younger - I got involved at school with other parents, done and dusted. It was especially great when we lived in Budapest - as Abby says above, ex-pats, by definition, are welcoming and understand what it's like to have to settle into a new place again. Nowadays, however, most of my interaction with friends is through Facebook and email - I love Abby's idea of sending a quick photo and text (I like to write chatty emails then get disappointed when replies are sparse!).
ReplyDeleteYes, keep working on the new blog look - I find this font too small as well!
HI Patricia - just made the font bigger - hope this helps! It is harder at different stages as well - and I always wonder when I don't get a response back - did I say something wrong, etc? But friend are so crucial to our wellbeing that i think it is critical to develop a core group that you can really trust! I have that in person and online and it does make a huge difference to my happiness!
DeleteThose colors seem of a piece with your personality; still like you in navy, though, too.
ReplyDeleteBecause I am at a similar life pivot, I have been thinking about this friendship topic as well. My kids don't believe that I am an introvert, but at the heart of things it's true. I love to get together with friends-- not as a couple-- when I can. It's too easy not to make the call and make a plan when you are perfectly happy being on your own. Most of our socializing is as a couple, though; our village is full of folks who will get together at the drop of a hat. Real friends are rarer.
Hi Lane - i think that is it in a nutshell - they are lots of people that will get together with you, but are they truly sympatico. To like us they have to a) like to drink now and then with barry b) like to tell stories and joke c) like me. I think that c) is the hardest, because in my experience the women are the ones who determine who the friends will be at least as couples. I am kind of a goofball. An acquired taste if you will!
DeleteLane, I can really empathize with people thinking you are more intrinsically "social" than you are. In my case I think it's a bit of an occupational hazard, being "on" in the public and organizing events etc. One of the things I really struggle with "in the big city" is knowing a fair number of people to say hello or maybe grab a coffee, yet having very few true friends. Not that I want a massive social circle, but I am trying to feel more connected. Thank goodness for blogs etc.
DeleteWMM you are right, duos are more of a balancing act. But singles also feel 5th wheel. For reals, I can't imagine how anyone wouldn't want to try to get to know someone as genuine and generous as you. Probably that thing where people are afraid of a bit of quirk and humour, don't "get it". Sometimes "society" can be a very homogeneous (and dull) bunch.
Yes, having a "professional persona" does tend to affect the way people react to you in non-professional situations.
DeleteWe do have a number of single friends, both as a couple and individually. I love that MLane is beloved by lots of women we both like; he is an excellent listener and loves to give advise. We spent a recent Friday night here with a woman we are both very fond of, having dinner and a nice fire.
I am sure MLane is beloved by all! What a great skill to have! And GF - you know I love you for liking me so much!
DeleteLOVE the pink and red outfit, WMM! I have red pants and a neon azalea JC Tippi that I have paired together numerous times, but have never left the house :). I wish I had your confidence!! Unfortunately, I am SUPER introverted and have basically 2 girlfriends - 1 has been my friend for 25 years and the other for 15 years. It takes me a looong time to make a friend, but then I don't let them go :).
ReplyDeleteBCG - those are the best kinds of friends! And you always look so amazing in colour, so give it a whirl - I thought everyone done south would be very colourful!
DeleteHey Wendy! I'd love to be your friend and meet you for lunch tomorrow. I know we'd have a grand time. See if you can arrange my days off from work and airline reservations.:)
ReplyDeletePS. Love the red and pink. Jenna and Gayle would be proud.
SC - you got it - we may have to wait for my lottery win!!! As for Jenna and Gayle - they would be all over me! What I want to know is if Nina Garcia would be? Gotta ask EMa!
DeleteI love your recreation. It's perfect!
ReplyDelete