On Mothers

Oh Mother's Day.  You do sneak up.

Here is the thing about Mother's Day: we all start out with Mothers.  And those mothers all start out loving us  and caring for us and doing their best.  Later, we sometimes accuse them of loving us too much, but that is a whole other blog post!

I have a personal theory about most mothers, which is true only for me and my mother and for me and my children, but may reflect your lives as well:  Mothers are about the details.  They give birth  and then they can't ever let go the knowing of every detail that happens after that.  It is all fascinating to them and they can't seem to help being nosy.  They are typically (still) the ones who know every doctor's appointment, when you had your last period, what you ate for breakfast that time.  They plan it all; as my brother and sister and I used to say, our mother gave good Christmas.  And we can hurt them, but they are always there.

My mother and her brother, circa 1937

But they are not perfect.  They make mistakes and sometimes they can be cruel, because the things they say to us are given such importance by us.  And sometimes they do the cruelest thing of all - they leave us or we leave them or they have to go and die on us.  And that is the most frustrating, because they are the keepers of all childhood knowledge and you will never know why you or they did such and such when you were 5 years old.

Graduating from the university of new brunswick, 1956

My mother passed away when I was 37 years old.  I still miss her, and every time I have a piece of good news, I want to call and tell her.  She was a good mother to me and if any of you find me funny and friendly and intelligent at all, it is probably because she was so funny and friendly and intelligent.

I have been a mother since 1992.  I have never regretted the decision to have children, though it can be messy and frustrating and hard.  But when I think of my daughter and my son, I have feelings of great happiness and joy.  They will soon be leaving me to move on to their own lives.  And I will continue to ask questions that are really none of my business and sometimes, they will answer them.  Sometimes they will not.  And then, god willing, I will become a grandmother, and will be enjoy watching them be the good parents that I know they will be.

My babies, Fall, 1995

Our mothers are the first of many loves of our lives.  So while today is always a bit bittersweet for me, I will remember only the good times and the happy memories.  And hope that my children will do the same.

Much love and joy to you today!  Stay Safe out there!