Friday, May 17, 2013

Miller Time Friday: Bleeding Hearts

Ah love.

We all fall in love and we all fall out of love and that is part of the great mystery and beauty that is life.

But today, let's focus on first loves, shall we?  The love where you are beside yourself with emotion and youth and naïveté.

Let me take you back to the 1976-77 school year.  I am in grade 8.  There is a country boy I like very much.  He is very shy.  I am not shy, but I am pretty shy about boys.  In those days we have "socials" once a month - little dances with DJs, and streamers and balloons, that are the height of our social calendars (who am I kidding - they are the only thing on our social calendars!).  It takes until January for him to ask me to dance.  He only dances waltzes.  So we dance to Elton John and Englebert Humperdink and Barry Manilow.

After every social, I stay over night at my best friend's house and we dissect every conversation between ourselves and our beaus.  Once, he misses a dance.  I am devastated.  I cry for two days, playing my England Dan and John Ford Coley album over and over again until it begins to skip.  My heart bleeds.

He lives half an hour outside of town, so the only time we can really see each other is at school and at these once-a-month dances. It is very romantic.  Finally, in May, he asks me on a date!  We go to the only movie that is in town that weekend, a Winnie the Pooh movie, chaperoned by his older sister and her boyfriend, who can drive.  Afterwards, we go to McDonalds and he pays for my french fries and my chocolate milkshake.

And then, I move away.  Oh, we write once or twice, but really, we are 14 years old, what can you expect? Seven years later, he becomes a pilot and is tragically killed in a freak plane accident.  You never forget your first love, do you?  Others will come and some will be happier and some will be sadder and some will be grand and some will prove not worth it at all.  But you will always have the first in a special place in your heart and you nurture it and take it out for a spin now and then to remember.

I thought of him this week, because my bleeding hearts are in bloom.


Flowerinfo.org gives the following description of the bleeding heart:


Because of its characteristic shape, the bleeding heart flower is at the center of many folkloric tales. One of the best known stories – which has many variations – is generally told directly through the anatomy of the plant itself. This story tells of a prince who tries to win the heart of a beautiful maiden by giving her gifts. With each gift, two of the petals are removed. Despite his attempts, the maiden continues to refuse the prince, and so he pierces himself through the heart – the heart having been formed with the discarded petals, the knife with the green stamen. The essence of the bleeding heart flower is said to open up and strengthen the heart chakra, which in turn causes a person to feel emotionally soothed and open to the possibility of new romance. It is thought to be especially useful after a heartbreak. These blossoms are also frequently used in love spells. One such spell includes braiding the flowers into your hair, lighting a white candle in honor of the goddess of love, and reciting a poem or incantation.
Although they may not be as common as other blooms, the bleeding heart flower can make a great romantic gift. These blossoms are almost exclusively considered a symbol of undying love, and are frequently given at weddings and special milestones like anniversaries or birthdays. These flowers make for a unique, stunning bouquet, but can also be given in gift baskets or as single-bud tokens of affection.

So - if you care to, please share your first love - would love to hear the story!
In honour of my first love and my then and subsequent bleeding hearts, let's make the bleeding heart cocktail, shall we?
Bleeding-Heart-Champagne-Cocktail

To make the Bleeding Heart add one cup of sugar and one cup of water to a small saucepan. Dissolve over a medium heat stirring occasionally  Make sure the sugar completely dissolves and boils for a few minutes. Take off heat and cool. Blend a punnet of raspberries until liquified and strain. Add to cooled syrup and mix well. Pour into heart shaped moulds and freeze. Then add to Champagne or Sparkling Wine and watch your heart fall and dissolve into red, but delicious, mush. Drink in immoderation!
Have a happy Friday, and stay safe out there!




25 comments:

  1. How sad that he died....
    I'm not sure that I can bring myself to write the painful saga of my first love (or should I say obsession). I was 13, he was 15. It ended very, very badly and to this day I still feel quite queasy when I think of that period of my life....
    I believe he is alive and living in the UK, after recovering from heroin addiction. I can't bring myself to fiend him on Facebook, but do occasionally google him.
    You never do forget your first love...

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    1. 'Friend' not 'fiend'!! Although perhaps fiend would be a better word!

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    2. oh Ruth - I hear you! I often feel uncomfortable about some of my teenage exploits, but try to console myself that that's what being a teenager is all about! i have a few fiends on facebook myself!

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  2. I think that's why one of my favorite movies is A Little Romance with Laurence Olivier, Diane Lane when she was a young girl and the charming young french actor Thelonious Bernard. Set mostly in Paris, it's about the special connections of your first love and knowing no one else can understand its uniqueness and the conviction it is forever. Every time I've watched it I cry bucketfuls over the bittersweet ending.

    My first was an on and off, crazy roller coaster love lasting about seven, or was it 10 years?

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    1. wow - that is a long roller coaster ride! you know - I have never seen that movie, though I am well aware of it. I am going to have to look for it now!

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    2. Thanks, TR, will have to watch this film on yr recommendation.

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  3. Oh, I wasn't expecting that sad ending. My first BF and I have become email friends ( I don't Facebook) and it's nice to know things turned out well for him.

    Bleeding hearts look awesome in a little vase with tulips.

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    1. I agree - they are lovely with tulips. I also love a single stem in a little white milk vase I have. It is sad, isn't it?

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  4. I woke up one day with the sad realization that I just couldn't spend the rest of my life like this. Carried guilt for a long time, even heard from friends that he'd gotten married on the rebound, finally googled him years later and to my relief learned that he has had a nice life, just the way he wanted (a life which would have stifled me), and I can't tell you how relieved I felt - for him, also for me.

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    1. It is nice when it works out for all involved. I lived with a fellow for a couple of years at uni and was so relieved to leave him - he was a good guy, but not for me and that was a good decision!

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  5. Your first love sounds like a very nice man. My first love was a neighbor and a family friend. He used to serve as altar boy in our church and I remember dressing in my Sunday best and just stared at him the whole time during mass. It fizzled out when we went to college. I think the qualities we want in a partner change as we grow older. I am fascinated with childhood sweethearts who end up married forever but that's probably more an exception than the rule.

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    1. Hi Marie - I always think the same when I meet couples that are together since they are 13 or something. That must just be luck or something, as I am quite sure I was ill-suited for every boy I dated in middle school and high school!

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  6. Well, I'm still married to him! Met when I was 15..he thought I had a great ass, I thought he had a big ass. I had a little white bikini and the summer before senior year we would go out in the water and talk and talk on my raft (I needed it to cover myself when I got out of the water). Finally at the end of the summer I asked if he was ever going to ask me out. I found it very difficult that I had met my soulmate at such a young age so I broke up with him several times over the years (I was awful). Lucky for me he stuck around. I did have to aske if he was ever going to marry me. At 23 we tied the knot. I still look forward to him coming home from work everyday. Love him dearly!

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    1. BB - isn't that wonderful? I think it must make you wonder when you find your true love at that age; but I am so glad it worked out for you!

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  7. My first real love was a lovely but painful story and I don't really talk about it... It was the kind of " impossible love" story and I have been "forbidden" to talk about it for years... It has kept me sad for a long time, but I must say that my true love is my husband... He healed me from this story and made me flourish to become the woman who I am today... And trust me it was not in the bag...

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    1. that is so sweet - what a good man!!

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    2. Funky Steph -- you've basically stated my story as well.

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  8. MEMORY LANE WMM, not sure whether to love or loathe you for this one. A relatively late bloomer on said bittersweet subject. Share of crushes etc. but moved too much, didn't give my heart up until uni. Best stories: my girlfriends' putting a signed stepladder in front of door when we returned from our first official date (5'2" - 6'4"). Spending NYE with a man-boy in dress grey and the taoiseach. Worst story: His dad and I both missing his graduation (his dad passed weeks after.) He followed the exact path he set at a young age, exceeding his dad's and uncles' considerable footsteps. I meandered. A couple of years ago he was quoted as saying he's "moved like a gypsy caravan." That made me smile in recognition. Don't "follow" him, but breathed sighs of relief whenever mutual acquaintance noted he'd returned safely, particlarly from Iraq. Always happy he became the person he wanted to, had pretty much the life we used to talk about, so vital when your career itself involves a lot of loss.

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    1. A military man - they are hard to follow around - I always think the men and women who marry into the military are special indeed! You sounded like Barry and I - he is 6'3" and I am same height as you!

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    2. I just imagined an extension of my life-in-bozes with my parents. But really we were both losing parents, too youmg at the time. Only started wearing high heels when I met him (dances). That love has stuck.

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  9. Oh that's so sad WMM, I always find it extra poignant when a person follows their dream and then it brings about their end. I was mid 20's before I had my first love affair, it was incredible, great intoxicating highs that I'll never know again but it was also a borderline obsession, bit like a film really.

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    1. Oh I had a couple of borderline obsessions. There are a lot more stories I could share - but they have to wait for a couple of shots of bourbon, a sleeping bag so i can lay down in the middle and some chocolate!

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  10. Hello WMM, that's very sad for your first love. I met my first love in university, we were friends in a group first and we finally got together when we were doing our year abroad, he in France, me in Germany. He and another friend came to visit me and we all took a train to Luxembourg for a few days. We were together for a few years, even got engaged, but at some point I realised that I wanted something different. I don't keep in touch with him, but I hear that he is doing well. Funnily enough, I think he would get on very well with my husband; they have some of the same interests, although very different personalities.

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    1. Patricia - that is so funny! I think my husband and my first fellow would have liked each other as well, especially as they could bond over airplanes!

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  11. What a beautiful story of this boy who died so tragically. No boys came near me around that age, I must have been to grumpy or too scowley or too freckly or something. My earliest boyfriend was when i was five, he was four, I dumped him when I went to school and I'm sure he's been counting his lucky stars since.

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Kindness is a virtue...