Sunday, May 26, 2013

The Stories We Tell

Oh Sarah Polley, I do love you!

Last night was a quiet night Chez WMM, and we thought we would rent a movie on Apple TV.

I had been reading a lot of great articles about Sarah Polley's new documentary, The Stories We Tell, which tells, from many different perspectives, the story of Sarah's mother, Dawn Polley, and the implication of her life and death on the family.  While the core of the movie focuses on a family secret, it becomes secondary to the exercise of how that secret is interpreted by all concerned, including the filmmaker herself.  The documentary title becomes a double entendre, since it is the family stories themselves that start Sarah on her quest.

I recommend not reading articles about this in advance if you want the full surprise.  However, if like me, you have read some of the articles, being "spoiled" does not reduce by one whit the impact of the story and the powerful and creative way Polley tells the story.

You get quite besotted with the characters, especially Sarah's siblings and her father, Michael Polley.  The latter's version forms the backbone of the story, with the other stories spinning off like so many spokes on a wheel.  Sarah is at once immersed within the story and separate from it as the filmmaker, which makes for an interesting juxtaposition.

This undated publicity photo released by courtesy of Roadside Attractions shows a scene from the film, "Stories We Tell," directed by Sarah Polley. (AP Photo/Roadside Attractions, Ken Woroner)

Sarah Polley is a gifted actress, but she is even more gifted as a director, in my opinion.  And I hope that this is not the last documentary she undertakes in her career.

Flickr - nicogenin - Sarah Polley 66ème Festival de Venise (Mostra).jpg

This was one of the most riveting 2 hours of film I have seen so far this year and if you can find it on itunes or on DVD, by all means, watch it: you will love it!  The film is getting a lot of accolades and I predict that Sarah will find herself at the Oscars next March, and hopefully, she takes her father with her.

The premise that our perspectives on our families and their stories depends on who we are and what part in the story we played is an interesting one.  I remember a few years ago that my sister wanted to put together a genealogical history of the family.  She started working on it, almost telling it like a story, but this upset my father no end, who wanted simply a "just the facts ma'am" approach and most decidedly did not want any editorializing along the way.  But all of our lives are editorialized along the way, aren't they?  I have a perspective on my childhood which is uniquely mine.  I often marvel when I hear my sister describe a certain event; it is often completely different than how I would have described it.

I also feel that we begin to understand our parents and our families better the older we get.  The all-to-human frailties of our parents become illuminated as we age and make our own mistakes as parents, as spouses, as friends or as employees/employers.  I often judged my mother and father harshly when I was younger.  Now, at 50, I am more forgiving and my only regret is that I did not know more about their interior lives.  I was fortunate in that after my mother died I got to spend a lot of time with my dad when he was still well and there were stories he shared and perspectives he shared about her and their marriage that I benefited greatly from.  He was less forthcoming about his own life, though much of that is a generational thing, I think.  However, after he died and I got to go through some of the things that he kept with him throughout his life, even in his final two years in the nursing home, including letters written to him by his father during World War II, I understood the depth of his feelings and how hard he must have worked to control those feelings.

Sarah's documentary is brave and entertaining.  Like all good art, it makes us think about our lives vis-a-vis the subject matter.  You can't ask for much more than that.

Stay Safe out there and have a wonderful Sunday!

9 comments:

  1. FAMILY TIES Sarah's work was a big draw at TIFF last year. I marveled at the struggle to try to be the pro, dispassionate director/ editor, good storyteller and interpreter, and yet find and know yourself in the thick of the tale. Don't think many people would have the guts and gravitas to put their nearest and dearest under that kind of scrutiny for public consumption. Loved the flashes of humour and suppose helped to some extent many of her relations are "creative" types.

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    1. I just loved it - wish every family would/could do this! I was quite besotted with Michael Polley in the end!

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  2. What a beautiful review Wendy, I hope Sarah Polley reads this! I'm going to find this documentary pronto.
    Ahh, families. The love and the pain! Reading about your relationship you had with your father after your mother's death reminded me of a process my own Dad went through after my Mom left him and the family for my Dad's best friend. I was 22 at the time, so old enough to "share" the process with Dad, which at the time didn't feel like such a privilege. During a two year period Dad wrote down a history, in detail, of the marriage and it was very painful in light of the new information (the affair with the best friend). I read the whole thing and we discussed it at length during visits and phone calls, we certainly became very close, it changed our relationship for the better. I know my Dad so well now and I know I am very much like him which is a comfort too.
    Anyway that might be TMI but thanks for the well-written and thoughtful review!

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    1. Dani - given your own family history and your great relationship with your dad, I can safely say that this will be very powerful for you! But I think in a good way! I am so impressed that your dad took the time to write this all down - I am sure it helped him process this betrayal and revisit certain facets of their relationship - what a great thing to do - and a great gift to you! I think you will really enjoy this on many levels!

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    2. Dani, yes, you must see it! Think will be very touching for you in a positive way. Definitely struck cords with my re. my parents' often complex tandem act. Makes you appreciate marriage/ partnership, siblings, general differences of perspective more, I think.

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  3. I love a doco and will check this out, I just spat all over your zombie post; those poor souls, it's only me who loves them and sees them as an exciting sporting activity!

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    1. hA! Am going back - I have a treat for you then - a good zombie dinner party game!

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  4. Sounds like a good movie, thanks for the recommendation. I've never heard of Sarah Polley but I live in a vacuum when it comes to entertainment.

    My sister died suddenly just days after she had turned 30. I've learned a lot more about her since then and some of it was very surprising to me. One thing in particular, if only I had known, although what could I have done? Still, it makes me so sad. If she were still alive I'm sure it would have never been discussed.

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    1. xoxo - i am so sorry about your sister. It is funny, the secrets we keep, isn't it? And when they come out we often wonder why they were kept secret. I think people worry about being loved and judged and that always makes me feel so sad!

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Kindness is a virtue...