Miller Time Friday - Some Deep Thoughts on Being At Home and an Update on the Peacock Blazer

Happy Friday!!!!

We are now officially at the Ides of March!  So stay clear of places full of people that might want to knock you off your pedestal!

When I was working full-time, especially for the last few years, Friday was the day I LIVED for.  Friday, meant I could get home by 6 and not work that evening.  Friday evening felt like freedom to me. 

Friday also meant I would be in my home again.  Oh sure, I was in my home every evening from Monday to Friday, but I can say, unequivocally, that I was not IN my home.  My head was always elsewhere, worrying over some issue like the little squirrel I watch out the window as I am writing this post.  I was never turned off from work.

I hope that most of you who are reading this are lucky enough not to have that kind of pressure.  But I think that the advent of technology has leashed us to our workplaces in so many unhealthy ways.  Until my break, I was on call 24-7 and even if no one was calling me or emailing me, I would still be at work mentally. 

One of the most interesting things about being at home is actually being at HOME.  The last time I spent any considerable time puttering around my house was 18 years ago, during my maternity leave for my son.   Even vacations were often spent travelling elsewhere, so the only other time I was really hanging about the house was Christmas time.  And guess what?  I love hanging about my house!

As I write this, the sun is just peeking through the trees on its way up into a beautiful blue sky.  I am fortunate in that I live 10 minutes outside of our small city on an acre lot surrounded by forty foot high pine trees.  The snow is actually starting to melt and I am starting to dream of yard work.  It is very quiet. 





My hibiscus tree is getting leafy again!

 Inside the house, I have had time to do things I have not had time to do in many years, or that I did not do in thoughtful ways.  My closets are cleaner, which makes me feel less disorganized.  I have a budget and I am being more careful with my money as I have had the time to pay attention to it.  Chores that I would do before were rushed through; I felt that I was in a race against time and that time was beating me; there were just never enough hours in the day.  Now I take my time and try to be more thoughtful about things.  Isn't it funny how going through something terrible like the death of my dad, as well as getting physically exhausted, is often what we need in order to wake up to what is not working? 

But the biggest and loveliest gift I have received during my time off is the realization of how much I love being in my home.  How those daily chores, when done with love and attention, can seem like little acts of goodness. 

The work of keeping a house nowadays seems to have gone to two extremes: 1) The Martha Stewart extreme, which would mean that by this time of day I would have already fed and watered the chickens and washed all of the windows or 2) the individual who stays at home to raise their children and/or care for the life of their family (or is on exhaustion leave, comme moi) and is constantly asked: how DO they fill their time and aren't they DYING to get "back out there in the real world?"

And yet, here is the secret no one talks much about until they get older: being at home is wonderful.  I have friends who are "officially retired" who say that they are the happiest they have ever been in their lives.  How they have time for everything from grocery shopping to reading a book to taking a walk.  They had forgotten how wonderful it is to just be. In that home.  The place they spent so many years paying for and fixing and decorating.




Barry reading a book this morning; he doesn't know I took this picture

 For the last couple of months I have been feeling a little like Pat Gardiner, she of the wonderful L.M. Montgomery book, Mistress Pat, who liked nothing better than to be in her own home.  I am now officially re-acquainted with ALL parts of house, as well as the rest of my non-work life and while I might have found that daunting and stressful in January, by mid-March I am finding it quite delightful!  That probably means I am pretty much rested now. 

I asked my dad several years ago if things were as hectic for he and my mother as they were at that moment for Barry and I.  He thought about it for awhile and said no.  I asked if that was because my mother stayed at home.  He thought further about it and said no, that was part of it, but not the whole reason.  My dad had an excellent job where he was the boss of a large organization as well.  He felt there were two huge differennces: 1) he worked in an era of no emails coming at you 24-7.  "People would call you in the evening if there was a real emergency, he said, "but because they had to call you, they made sure it WAS a real emergency."  and 2) They didn't want as much.  "We didn't expect to take fancy vacations every year or have new cars or fancy stuff.  I never felt I had to keep striving to keep up.  We lived comfortably as a family of five on what I made and we lived within our means."

Hmmm.  Some good food for thought.  My personal story is a story of great imbalance - all of my attention prior to Christmas was divided as follows 1) my family, including my dad's care and 2) my work.  Almost nothing else.  I forgot about giving myself attention.  And one of the things that makes me really happy is being in my home more and really enjoying that time.  And reading.  And writing.  And chatting with you all each day, which has become such a source of great delight as you all have such different thoughts and experiences.

For me, life experiences are all about learning.  My life has never been a straight line and while I can see now that certain decisions made at certain times put me on the path that I was on, I am not sure I would have recognized them as such life-altering decisions at the time I made them.  What I KNOW for sure on a go forward basis is that the next round of decisions and the kind of work I choose to do (as I will be working at something!) need to provide me with a balanced life.

When I started this blog last June/July, I thought I would mostly be writing about clothes and my quest for a changing style.  It has certainly evolved since that time to something almost completely different (I am not sure what!) and i am grateful to you for continuing on the journey with me and for the conversations we have now that are about so many different topics depending on the day, conversations that it make me excited to get up in the morning to read your comments or go read your blogs!  I know I don't have an exciting life in the grand schemes of things, but I am excited by it now in a way that is completely different than 4 months ago. 

I know - very deep Friday thoughts.  To lighten the mood and get the day off right, I think this Miller Time could start with a little something warm and cozy: how about an Irish Coffee?

What you need

• A glass
• Sugar
• Freshly brewed coffee
• ¾ ounce of Bailey’s
• Homemade whip cream
• A stirrer
• A warm spoon

Directions

In a preheated glass, pour the Bailey’s in. At this time you can add the sugar for a sweetened taste. Slowly add the freshly brewed coffee while continuously mixing the liquid. All of the sugar should be dissolved. With the back of a warm spoon, add the whip cream to the Irish coffee mixture. Be sure to not break the coffee’s surface with the whip cream.

I won't tell if you drink it this morning...Dani - I think you need to get one of those little heaters for your front porch so we can start sitting out there again when we all arrive!

So do tell: what do you like best about being in your home?  Do you have any big weekend plans?

And as a small postscript, I got the peacock blazer back from the tailor late yesterday.  I cannot recall which one of you brilliant people first suggested it, but the bracelet length sleeves make all of the difference!

Now - will one of you kind souls explain HOW that happened.  How did bracelet-length sleeves take my jacket from dowdy to chic???????

And as always: stay safe out there!  And remember:  just say no if Brutus wants to go for coffeee....