Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Finding your flock, plus everything looks good covered with a trench coat!

Tuesday!

I am just now catching my breath over Sunday Night's Episode of Game of Thrones.  For those of you who watch it, I got two words: Girl Power.  Oh and: I gotta get me a dragon.

Yesterday, I started a discussion on my Spring clean-up, which involves as much introspection as it does serious scrubbing, pruning, sorting and tossing.  I tend to be quite light-hearted, so this kind of introspection can be a little close to the bone for me, but taking stock and seeing what does and doesn't work is a good thing to do at major transition points.

Change is exciting, but it can also be daunting.  Just as I am nervous sometimes that when I prune a tree or shrub I will somehow end up killing the patient rather than making it stronger, the same is true about making a major transition.  You cut off a limb in the hope that the whole will be stronger and healthier because of it.  (hmm - this is starting to seem like a career book using gardening as a metaphor!).  My father was a forester and used to say that a good forest fire was a good thing for a forest now and then.  I am unsure if that is old forester lore or the truth, but I kind of like the metaphor!

While making a cut can be helpful, in the long term, what really makes a tree or shrub strong is healthy soil.    For me, the health of my soil is determined by my relationships with friends and family.

In the last couple of weeks, a whole flock of Juncos has returned to our yard.  We must have 6 or 7 of these fat little birds and they are not shy of us at all.  All day long, they peck, peck, peck all over my yard and under my bird feeder and on the deck.  Sometimes, if the deck is seed-free because Barry has cleaned it off, the flock will send one junco up to the feeder to knock seeds down for the rest of them.  Unlike the other birds that visit me, the juncos hate the feeder; they are ground feeders and they do not really know how to hang on and eat at the feeder, unlike the chickadees and the nuthatches.  Despite their obvious discomfort, one of them does it for the rest and they all benefit.


One of my juncos, hanging out underneath the Adirondack chair

These juncos work as a team and as I get older, I am more and more convinced that it is important to find your own flock.  You need people that go to the feeder for you and that you will go to the feeder for.  People that you feel, well, sympatico with. 

I am lucky that I have a core group of really good friends that have been with me through thick and thin and dressing up (and you have seen them in their costumes!).  I have other friends who live far away, but when we get in a room, it is like we just finished our last conversation 10 minutes ago, not 10 months or 10 years ago.

But I will say that I have also made some equally close friends via this blog community.  In some ways, I think my blog friends know me more intimately than my friends who live in the same city.  Oddly enough, I tend to be most truthful when I write.  Not that I lie in real life or anything, but I am more likely to pretend things are okay when they really aren't.  How many of us have kept up pretenses of a happy marriage, a happy job, a happy family, a happy whatever, when we really weren't happy? Sometimes you are embarassed to admit that you don't want or like something anymore: what will everyone think?  In fact, I only told my best friend in advance that I was thinking of taking a break from my job to decide what to do next.  You all knew here well in advance of most of the people in my so-called "real life".  Not because you were "safe", but because I thought you would all understand, and you did. 

The universe is a place of happy accidents, on the whole (notwithstanding the obvious tragedies and sadness we are all forced to go through in our lives).  You stumble upon the thing you need just when you need it most.  We are all making our own epic journeys through this life, but I have always felt fortunate that usually in my darkest hours, like Frodo in the cave, some lovely soul has come and lit a lamp to help me take the next few steps.  The dehumanizing aspect of the technological age is balanced or perhaps compensated by the fact that disparate souls are able to reach out to one another to just, well, chat.  I suspect that the more flocks we find where we are birds of a feather, the happier and healthier we are.

So thanks for making my soil a little healthier and I hope i make yours healthier too!

On a distinctly lighter note, I did an Ines outfit yesterday and took some pictures to show you.  I was suprised to learn that even if the outfit is chic, I am still only 5'2"!  I could use longer legs.  I think that would also help with my tendency to gain weight around the middle!


Black cashmere t, black merino cardigan, white jeans and black short boots.  I never see Ines taking pictures in the bathroom.  But of course, she always has a photographer following her!

I then amped it up:


Ah, the icon trench and long black scarf.  Are these not the things that somehow make an okay outfit seem suddenly chic, suddenly "My name is WMM and yes, I am fabulous!"  Left open, the belt tied behind, I am suddenly thinner and chicer.  I just need the River Seine and a french lover and I am set to go!  After seeing this outfit, I have decided to never take this off, I will even sleep in it.  It may be 30 celcius or -30 celcius, and still, I will wear this coat.  And smile while doing it!

So how are your days?  Anything special going on or anything special you are wearing these days that make you feel "all that"? 

Have a wonderful Tuesday and stay safe out there!

58 comments:

  1. Hello Wendy,
    I am not sure how it happened that I missed your Monday post... I love it very much. Yes many aspects of the web could be criticized, but no one could deny that it has also enable communication around the world and the ability to make "different" friends. I also agree with you it is easier to be frank with your "virtual" friends than with the "real" ones...
    Speaking of weight loss and personal transition, I could only recommend you to find and watch "Hungry for Change" documentary... This one has been an eye opener for me. I have seen it for the first time, I think, a year ago, and it has been the trigger to many changes in my life... It has also lead me to new things, that have trigger more changes...
    I love your classic outfit and it suits you very well. Bonne journée :-)
    Take Care
    Steph

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    1. Thanks Steph! I have never heard of this, so will have to look it up!

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    2. Hi Steph, I just found it on YouTube - I saw a trailer and it looks fascinating, thank you for the recommendation!

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    3. My pleasure Patricia!!! I think that this documentary goes so beyond just food! Take Care.
      Steph

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  2. a) your tags are hilarious

    b) lovely bird and gardening metaphors. I agree regarding relationships being the soil, and I too feel lucky to have stumbled into this kind and thoughtful community.

    c) love the trench outfit! My trench coat is also the item that is making me feel "all that" lately, as well as a pair of brown cowboy-esque (but lower and more feminine) that I bought in Italy a couple of years ago.

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    1. boots - that would be the missing word in my above comment :)

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    2. I that is funny! Until I kept going i was thinking "why have I not heard of these cowboyeque things? I am so behind!"

      I would love cowboy boots and I am loving short stacked boots! They are so great! In the mornings here it is still cool, by early afternoon you need a completely different outfit!

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    3. Ha!

      Yes, sometimes it feels like I change my clothes about ten times a day in the spring :)

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  3. Lovely post WMM, you are so very right. I've met such wonderful people via this blog world that I can't call the Interwebs all bad. :) I look forward to hearing about your wardrobe changes due to your new status change. For me it was a fun switch to go from corporate to being home, though it took some getting used to and resulted in quite a big closet sweep. I will say it was much more fun to buy the casual clothing than to buy suits! :) Hope you find some pieces in the new rollout tomorrow!

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    1. Hi M! I always find that more casual clothing has more personality, except for really nice expensive suiting! I still need to clear things out - I am keeping too much! Today is shoe day - am bringing up the spring and summer shoes and will decide what is in good enough shape to keep! I hope there are some nice things in the rollout too!

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  4. WMM, I am on the hunt for George's minions. Very true about finding kindred spirits and creating a good foundation, fuel. Wonderful thoughts again - the garden is good for you. One thing I find is when the chips are really down your IRL friends will really be there for you. But blog and email mates likely more accessible for the day-to-day troughs and triumphs. Somehow we are often so "artificially" busy and physically scattered now.

    Ironically, I can't help but thinking a little less of the electronic or better commutes would give us more time for life. Grimace when I think 12 years ago a company I worked with had successful "email free Fridays" (only to be sent in case of emergency), so people could clear the decks before the weekend. As far as change, perhaps a crucible experience can be a positive thing in the end. But it can also be hard to overcome lots of small shifts that pile up - the thousand cuts iykwim. Maybe the difference is headspace and momentum? The changes you want, at least in your gut, and the ones that seem foisted on us or that we fight, kicking and screaming. (Know that's NOT very meditative.)

    Anyway, I figured it out. I am missing that TRENCH. It was on my list for this year (have bought and consigned others). But I have a Burberry or similar in my head, and savings have only stretched so far as the scarf. Thanks for reminding me how great they are Mini 'Nes.

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    1. This is a great comment GetFresh! I remember also those emails free Fridays... I think that the main point is nearly everything is use it with moderation...

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    2. GF, I have the Banana trench and I really like it. I think we're similarly sized/shaped, so thought I'd let you know.

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    3. "artificially" busy...what an appropriate term.

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    4. I agree on the electronics - am limiting self to certain times of day and that is it - you could easily lose a whole day wandering around! I also organize some outings every day and with friends a few times a week, which really helps! I have seen the Burburrys and they are to die for, though I will say that the icon trench is almost of the same quality - i tried them both on the same day in Boston last summer and did not find as dramatic a difference as I would have expected!! Now the Burberry suits - they were spectacular!

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    5. Abby, there is a 40% flash sale at BR today (plus free shipping and returns) so if I can find a khaki/ tan one will order and try - thanks! Dani also recommends Brooks Brothers. Determined to get it right this time since past JC and London Fog ones never really got worn (wrong neutral shade, too many details swamped me...)

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    6. Oh and to echo Steph - I think that the Blackberry has impeded on every aspect of someone's life. I am obsessed with the idea that we are burning people out by forcing them to be accessible to us 24-7. It is almost Dickensian where i used to work - there was never a relief and the expectation was that you would answer.

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    7. Abby, yay, the BR classic trench comes in petite. BUT both R and P are sold out in both almond and khaki - must be popular. Will keep my peelies out for in-store and re-stocks. Again, appreciate the IRL reco.

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    8. GF, I bought mine 6 years ago - they seem to always have a version around, I think they restock it regularly.

      I can't say it will last you forever, mine might be in its last season, but it has been a workhorse. My current issues are some intractable dirt and a torn lining - not sure if it's worth the cost of re-lining it.

      Mine is a petite, and it makes all the difference in the world - it truly fits. I think that in this one I look chic, versus looking liking I'm playing spy dress up in my father's coat :)

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    9. One more thing - I have seen it in Petite at the Yorkville BR, might be nice for trying on if you don't find it online. I'd guess the Eaton Centre has it too, but sometimes Yorkville has more in Petites.

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    10. 'kay Abby, I will try both Yorkville and Yorkdale. Excited for another possible since the idea of doing all the tailoring to JC's Icon (which doesn't come in P and would need a sleeve, shoulder hem overall)puts me off along with the not insignificant price tag.

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    11. :) Please update when there is one :)

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  5. So funny you said that about your trench, I wore my Banana Republic trench on Saturday and it made the whole outfit look more put together. I was thinking it was like magic. I like your outfit! If you figure out how to grow a few inches taller, let me know, I want some of that too!

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    1. Isn't that funny! It is the first time I have had it on this Spring - it is going out for some errands later on this morning!

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  6. I am enjoying reading your journey and I learn new things from you everyday. Today I've put a name to the birds, they're juncos! We're on the same page as I wore my icon trench, black scarf, black capris and ballet flats yesterday. I felt chic and made going back to work on a Monday more bearable. This week is going to be perfect for trench coat and capris. It's finally spring and hope it is on its way to you too.

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    1. Hi Marie - I think it has finally come! Am writing then doing errands this morning and then more yardwork! I am hoping this helps lose some more inches, au natural!

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  7. I couldn't start the day now without checking on my blog friends! even if I don't always leave a comment, I like to know how things are going for everyone.

    In another week or so, the tufted titmice will be courting. A couple sits on a branch of my cherry tree, he picks a blossom and offers it to her, the end with the drop of nectar first.

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    1. Fred - I am the same! Oh the tufted titmice! I need pictures, Fred!!! Haven't had a chance to post on your blog in last day, but loved your new purchases!!!

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  8. And your juncos are the chic-est grey! I don't know what it is about the blogworld, but it would seem more than whizzing electrons. MLane does not get it!

    Are there different models of the Icon? XOXO mentioned one with a full skirt; mine is not full and has tucking at the collar. Yours is fab on you.

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    1. Lane, the JC trench with the crinoline was called the Encore (I think Tabs from B&P has/ reviewed it, among others?) Some of the details similar to the Icon, any trench. But the "skirt" portion of the coat was fuller, almost gored shape, in addition to the button-out tulle underskirt.
      http://jcrewaficionada.blogspot.ca/2011/10/jcrew-review-encore-trench.html

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    2. I think Tabs tried and maybe bought the skirt one? I am having a menopause moment and cannot recall? Mine is the one currently on the site. I wouldn't be shocked if J Crew was mixing it all up now and then!

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    3. I have the Encore trench but Tabs returned hers. I wear mine with full skirted dresses, it's not for everyday but when I wear it I am glad to have it! Wore it on Sunday over a dress!
      I think our true voices come out on blogs in the writing and in the comments, sharing opinions and points of view without being influenced by group behaviour, another person's expectations/body language etc. Every blog friend I've met in real life has been an absolute kindred spirit!

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  9. Are we officially old when we start bird watching? I used to think so but now that I am here I think not. Love the birds. I did think you looked quite cute even with out the trench :) I finally pulled out the iron and ironed my linen pants, should be wearing in a week or two. My mom actually called while I was ironing and wanted to come over to take a picture...I hate ironing, I don't even have a full size board.

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    1. I hate ironing too and am therefor not very good at it!! As for bird watching - I always liked bird, but I do find that as I get older and have been making this nice garden, it is a real treat to see the birds and the butterflies everywhere in it!

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    2. Me three. I love winter because I wear a sweater over my button downs & I can just iron the collar & the cuffs. Won't be able to do that soon. Downside of warmer weather but I will take it.

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  10. I love your bird metaphors and your Inès-esq outfit! That trench is trés chic! I know what you mean about the extra leg length. I quite often imagine I'm much taller than I am with long legs. Then I see pics and realise I'm 5'2" and short of limb.
    I would have thought you were much taller than me from your photos, so there you go!

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    1. Oh Ruth - I love you! I think I often look about 4 feet tall!!!

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  11. WMM, wisely spoken. I have come to treasure my "blog friends" given that my work is computer heavy and very solitary (not to mention that it doesn't leave time for much). However, I have a bone to pick with you! Your legs are perfect, and so is your middle. I think you're just showing off! :) In all seriousness, I never let my friends talk about themselves like that because it's a long journey to self acceptance (and I say this as someone who has struggled with body image for quite a long time) and I have Shallow Hal vision so am unable to see anybody's flaws when I get to know them. You look perfect to me, and very very chic!

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    1. Oh, and not as an afterthought, I wanted to thank you for sharing so much of yourself here, with us. I, for one, feel like we're old chums and you're one of the wisest in my flock!

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    2. Thanks Anthro Blogger - I bit of my own medicine right back at me - thanks for reminding me! I find that the folks who stop in here are always very kind. As for being the wisest! No I - I am the one who is very publicly bumping into the things in the dark! I learn as much here if not more!

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  12. I love the outfit, it is indeed very chic. My legs re fairly long and I still gain weight around the middle. It's genetic so I just have to accept that I'll never be curvy.

    I brought my new Black Fleece blazer on this business trip and it makes me feel very special. The fabric and fit are just so wonderful, I can see myself living in this piece forever. That reminds me though, I have to put up the Black Fleece reviews before the next F&F promo, which is early May. It's not so helpful if the information comes when everything is back to full price.

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    1. Oh yes - please put it up! I have been eying the Lacoste sweatshirt dress daily! watching for a sale there!

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  13. The icon trench is magic for any outfit, I agree! You look really chic. I am with xoxo, I have really long legs but also gain weight around the middle... all the women in my family are like that. How unforunate!!!

    I had no clue you were 5'2", you look quite a bit taller than that. Actually, you always look great, and glowing, and I think it's wonderful that you post photos of yourself for all of us to see. I know what you mean about telling us things that no one else knows. It's different... hard to explain. But I get it.

    I'm not wearing anything special at the moment, but waiting for the temps to be in the 40s at least in the morning so I can start wearing dresses, like this one which is arriving today!

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    1. What a pretty dress!!!!

      The glowing is courtesy of that world famous makeup artist in New York from NARS - she has changed my life! I am putting in a big order from them soon, and I need to get some of the St. Tropz self-tanner so I don't scare the birds away!

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  14. I just can't get into birds, what is wrong with me? lol The only ones I'm interested in at all are the owls we sometimes see up close and hawks are interesting in a kind of awful way. I tried hanging out a bird feeder one year, in a tree near the driveway. All i got for my trouble was bird poop all over my car!

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    1. Cate - you made me laugh out loud!!!! Birds are not for everyone. I am meh about lots of things, I think I love the birds as they keep me company out there!

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    2. Cate - I'm not a big bird person either but my Mom is. Everytime we have lunch at my parents place, my Mom will suddenly say "look at that chickadee!!" look at that ______!!" (insert name of bird here) Everyone looks around and tries to find the bird outside the window which is already long gone and Hubs and I just smirk at each other because her announcements never fail and we have no clue about birds. LOL

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    3. LR, that would have been me too. I'm all like just get out of here birds before you poop on my head! :-)

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  15. Hi WMM, another lovely and thoughtful post, thank you. Your outfit is definitely Nina-worthy. :0) I'm going to have to start paying attention to your tags, very funny!
    I do really think that this might be it, spring that is. Spring and fall are my favourite seasons - in Canada, the winter is too cold and the summer is too hot for me!

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    1. Hi Patricia - now that i know where Nina has coffee I will just wander back and forth till she shows up!

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  16. I agree that finding your flock and being able to share is one of the biggest blessings in our lives. I totally get that sometimes it is easier to express your feelings and thoughts on the blog than it is irl, I think mostly because we play certain roles and fall into patterns of behaviors and even patterns of conversations with long time friends. Sometimes it is just a matter of trying something new, I bet many of your friends would be just as interested in your musings us your online friends, after all, they probably have the same experience. When we share something, we gain something...
    I love your outfit, I wear something similar very often and I love Ines. I have relatively long legs but I still find that almost every outfit benefits from heels, the extra 3 inches can change the proportions dramatically. There was a girl that I worked with that was always in 4 inch heels. I always admired her looks and style but when one Friday she showed up in flats and I saw her from the back I literally did not recognize her and I realized that she was in fact about 2 sizes bigger than I thought. Still cute and pretty but ykwim.
    I have Banana trench that I love, in fact I just brought it from cleaners last week and I excited about wearing it. I don't like their current version as much though, but I am sure they will update it again. Icon is too short fore but I guess that's why it works for you so well, it is the perfect coat on you!

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    1. Oh I did tell them all and they all know I am writing, but somehow telling here made me braver! Of course, I could just be an odd duck! I could see that the icon would be too short for you!

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  17. Very nicely put WMM. And I agree, a good trench coat works wonders for any outfit!

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  18. you are right. everything looks better with a trench!

    you look fabulous!

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  19. I look forward to reading all my blog friends every morning, and it's so nice to know when I wake up at 4:30 - that you'll have a new post up. Love your outfit, and although Ines certainly is something to aspire to, we all have to remember she's 6' tall and a size 0.
    My bird feeders arrived today, and tomorrow will be up and running. I love watching them - so peaceful.

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  20. You look so very chic. That is all I have tonite. I enjoyed reading and always feel like we're having a one-on-one conversation when I do ;)

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Kindness is a virtue...