Friday, December 27, 2013

A Wendy's Christmas in New Brunswick.....with minions included....


Had a lovely day yesterday, lounging around in elastic waist leggings, which I may have to wear for the rest of my life... sigh....

But never mind, I am naturally optimistic about my situation, a modern-day Mr. Micawber (from David Copperfield), forever certain that all will turn out regardless of the circumstances in which I find myself, such as losing my waist. 

We had to lounge around yesterday for it SNOWED....

and snowed.

and snowed.

The only visitor was this downy woodpecker:



I was reminded of Dylan Thomas' A Child's Christmas in Wales were he wrote:

One Christmas was so much like another, in those years around the sea-town corner now and out of all sound except the distant speaking of the voices I sometimes hear a moment before sleep, that I can never remember whether it snowed for six days and six nights when I was twelve or whether it snowed for twelve days and twelve nights when I was six.

What I know for sure is that it has snowed for about six days and six night when I was 50, and the weatherman on the radio confirmed it, advising me (not personally mind you, though I felt like it as I did respond..) that we have received 93 cm in past two weeks.  For those of you still adhering to the imperial system that is 37.2 inches of snow or 3.1 feet of snow...

Oh it makes it quite picturesque all right and I guess I ought to consider starting to snowshoe again...



 
 
 

 
 
 
 
Last night we watched Despicable Me 2.  People will tell you this is a children's movie.  Do not believe them.  I do not think I have laughed so hard in many months, which was well needed since it appears we are now living in Winterfell (random Game of Thrones reference for you) and I imagine it is only a matter of time before I get called up to become a member of the Night's Watch:

 

That's going to make me cross, as I am an early summer kind of girl...

Sorry I digressed... Despicable Me 2 is really subversive fun for grownups, kind of like the old Bugs Bunny cartoons, where the kids were liking it but the animators were also winking at the audience.  The best are the minions:



I am convinced now that I need minions as well.  You know - the extra "help" for those distasteful chores one has around the house.  I therefore happily submit my list of Wendy minions for your consideration and heartily suggest you get some for yourself forthwith, since there could be a run on them once folks see the movie...

MINIONS:

  • Kitchen minion - must cook and clean to my high standards (which are quite low actually) and be of cheerful countenance, but not too cheerful in the morning, thank you very much, which absolutely precludes Jamie Oliver from being chosen...
I choose Ina Garten!  She looks like she eats and I like that... Jeffrey can come along too...would not pick Nigella as Barry likes her too much...
 
  • House Management: keep house spic and span, decorate for holidays, walk dog, keep laundry going.  Not afraid to tussle with the mice....

I choose Martha Stewart, though do not look directly in her eyes....


  • Party Planning: must be able to do theme parties, clean up afterwards, lead the dancing and arrange safe passage to and from residence for guests.  Even better if they help with the gift buying as well.
I choose Meryl Streep - I think she can handle the responsibility and has proven herself adept at costumes and accents, which I personally always enjoy...

  • Bon Vivant: Must tell me stories, be interesting and fun-loving and can be trotted out when required at parties...
I choose Tom Hanks, who is perennially charming
 
  • Literary: Must be willing to write and do readings when required and perhaps ghost write for me as well (in order to make both books and blog posts more interesting....)

I choose Kate Atkinson, though I will ask her not to be so deep sometimes...
  
  •  Paramour: Well sometimes Barry leaves town and it is important that the old doll not be left unattended...  Must be willing to feed me peeled grapes, rub feet and just generally make me feel good about not having a waist.  There will be two choices here, because one always needs a minion with an accent as well...

 
you can even imagine him with the minion goggles, still looking good...

 
Crikey...
 
I am sure in the future, I will add more minions as required.  It is an evolving field, as you can well imagine..


Well that's my day.  How about yours?  Have a happy one and stay safe out there...  No Miller Time Friday for me today - need to dry out....

 

18 comments:

  1. Good morning Wendy!
    I am on my way to the gym and then do some grocery shopping,as there is no more food in the house:)
    Tomorrow we will drive to Savannah for some beachtime and relaxing in a nice hotel!

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  2. oh lucky you! The florida trip is keeping me going as it is so snowy here!!!!

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  3. Paramour as minion!! This post cracked me up. I loved Despicable Me 2, just hilarious. You MUST go to the Minion Mayhem ride at Universal/IoA (I forget which) when you take your trip, it is great!

    These minions all sound lovely but I'll have to go with the House Management Minion as my most urgent, provided that Martha is willing to have a strong hand at dog fur management. She is going to be really busy here so I don't know if she can work for the rest of you concurrently.

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    1. I don't know Cate.... Martha is here now and she is awfully busy.....

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  4. I still have not read K.Atkinson-- must do.

    Isn't the snow lovely? Hope Toronto has emerged from its ice palace; still folks here without power through the holidays. Snowshoes are a must AND a huge calorie burner; on the schedule for after I finish some work.

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  5. The minions look excellent, I think I'm wearing their uniform most days!
    Wow to your wonderland outside, it's Christmas personified.
    Good job you've chosen Martha now that we know Nigella does nada about the house!
    unlocked shed - food storage ( broken fridge) - fox - club husband when he gets home from work - that's my day.

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    1. I'm en route with my rolling pin and minions so we can beat him about the heads ourselves....

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    2. Great, bring George for cocktails!

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  6. i would be happy with Jeeves as he seems an all rounder - cook cleans arranges and smooths out relationships. I still wouldnt mind Nigella because she could just be part of the entourage.

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  7. Great choices. I wouldn't want to look Martha in the eye either. That woman is fierce. Your snow looks so picturesque but I bet its a bit of a pain. Lolling around again today.

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  8. What would I do without your posts to keep me properly updated about life's necessities ... I had to click on properties for your second paramour minion to learn of his identity! Wow, I'm very impressed with Meryl's ability for bedroom gymnastics, had no idea of her talents there. I've looked into Martha's eyes and now I cannot look away (shoulda heeded your warning but I've never been all that mindful of directions).

    Wow to your winter wonderland! Can I visit for a week? We've had a couple days of howling dry and hot winds, all that snow looks mighty inviting, at least from here.

    Watched The Sound of Music Live the other day, cried bucketfuls all the way through, I love that movie so.

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  9. I want a grocery store minion. I want some to load my cart, load into my car, load onto my kitchen countertops, load into my fridge and pantry. It is sunny and beautiful today over in this imperialist state. Son will be leaving tomorrow. Em next week end. Don't fret...even my yoga pants are getting so tight I have major camel toe. I am now in sweats that are two inches too short to fit around my bloat...but yet I am still eating chocolate. One more week of gluttony.

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  10. I'll take Clive Owen as my minion... sigh and drool.

    Hope you have a great weekend, Wendy!

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  11. I would gladly have one of Ina's Cosmos, now that she is offering! Even though I would be afraid of her, I could use Martha's help. Organization is not my specialty. But first I must get myself to step away from the butter cookies.

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  12. I know you have Barry, but I want a minion for home repairs. Someone like the Holmes on homes guy of HGTV. Someone who can find leaks, repair my deck and so forth. One of those decorators that could magically turn $1000 into enough to furnish three rooms would be nice as well. Maybe Candace Olson but we would look ridiculous standing beside each other during the reveal as she is so tall that the cameraman would have trouble keeping us both in the frame.

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  13. We have watched Despicable Me 2 in theater and my son was ashamed of me because I was laughing so loud... Does it say all??? Have a wonderful weekend Wendy.

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Kindness is a virtue...