Sunday, February 3, 2013

An A-HA Style Moment & Superbowl Sunday

Well, well, well, I never cease to be amazed at how helpful and thoughtful you all are, both in giving me advice and support, but also to each other, such as all the great advice on a nice cardigan for Margaret.  You are all really bright spots in my day!

Yesterday, you helped remind me that while a cheeky purse is just that, it is not necessarily worth spending 1/3 of my spring/summer clothing budget on!  Now, if it suddenly falls out of the air at a significantly cheaper price, that is an altogether different matter! 

But one thing in particular really got me thinking yesterday.  In her comments, A Well Styled Life (she of the wonderful blog!) said:

I think you choose the creative accessories because they are fun, like your personality and part of your personal style. You mention wanting to dress more elegantly. That's great if you resonate with that style, but we each have a unique combination of styles that make up our personal style and if you only purchase the safe and elegant you may become bored quickly. Your lifestyle seems to lend itself to casual, sportiness (not sweats) and done in an elegant way is terrific with a touch of creative
That being said...I'm long winded... Dollar for dollar, the place to sink your money would not be a creative $300 bag, but key, quality pieces that make up the back bone of your wardrobe, and the creative pieces at a lower price point.
The shoes you loved this week were also creative. Your hair is creative in its curlyiness and colour.
Behold your bio picture, a gold crown...that's creative!!
If you hide your creative side...you'll hate it and splurge for the cheap thrill of it. I've been there.

"Hmm," I thought.  "Hmm."

And then I had an epiphany (I know - a long time in coming but I am a slow learner and in my defense was too busy in the corporate world to pay attention!): I need to treat my wardrobe like I treat my house!  A Well Styled Life's comments reminded me that what I have done successfully (in my opinion) in furnishing and decorating my house in a style that truly reflects me is that same thing I need to do in decorating myself!!! 

In my own home, I have either purchased or fortunately inherited quality pieces and then added my own panache to them in how I accessorized them, through either colour or little pieces that spoke to me along the journey.    To be honest, I have never thought of my wardrobe this way!

So this morning, I walked around my house withe a cup of coffee and started to feel where the dischord might be.


  For example, my dining is quite formal with my great-grandparents dining room set, but that is balanced by personal finds along the way - the huge painting by my friend Jan,


or little assemblages of plates and wine and old painting, an eiffel tower, an antique clock.

But there must be comfort:


The same in my bathroom:


formal marble floors, but all kinds of flea market finds and an old antique chair, but for fun, a black and white photo of the Rat Pack over the toilet.



My kitchen is a mix of old and new, but the compliments I get the most are about the cupboards being two different colours, that I have two massive old cupboards to store things as my pantry


and the details, like 1960s toy kitchen or


other assemblages in the open cabinets.


My house doesn't look like anyone else's house.  It is built on solid pieces and decorated with less expensive accessories, as I noted above.  My friends say it is so me.  So why am I building a wardrobe that is so derivative and is trying to take its quirkiness from others (i.e. the infamous Gayle?).  I realized that I got so used to wearing boring suits to the office that I am suddenly finding myself, at this age, building a new wardrobe that is me and I was simply adapting looks from others, not from myself!

So I need to start not only shopping my own closet, but also my own accessories, accessories that I had all but forgotten about because chunky vintage pieces were not appropriate to where i worked or weren't office-y enough.

Like my house, my wardrobe must reflect me fully, not a company nor an age cohort.  It has to be timeless, but it also means that you have to add the odd paint, and keep moving the furniture around!

I would say that in the last year, these were the outfits that were "really" me









So as I shop this spring/summer, I am going to be looking for lovely quality basics that are not over the top, which also have a "little something extra" like these nougat london, ralph lauren, looks (I must say I was surprised that only two JC items appear in these pictures).  I am going to rely on my jewellry and my shoes.  I am not shopping trends.  When I look at everything above I realized that none (save the pink shoes!) were trends, they were pieces that would not go in and out of style on a whim.  These outfits look like the gal who lives in this house.  SO thank you, Miss Jennifer of A Well Styled Life!  You really got me thinking and you really helped!

So this spring, the clothes will go through the following gauntlet (which by the way, I am putting on a piece of paper and putting in my wallet with me for when I go to NYC!):

1) is it comfortable?
2) is it the best quality I can afford?
3) does it look like Wendy (and I have even coined a new term for this elusively styled Wendy: "embellished chic") and would she want her picture taken it (!)

So tell me - is anyone else going through this kind of wardrobe transition, or am I just really and truly a late bloomer?

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Now to change topics dramatically, it is Superbowl Sunday!


That means two things to me:

1) Moosehead beer, chicken wings and carrot sticks (I know, weird combo!)
2) Beyonce!

I am not a huge football fan, but I will tuned in for the spectacle!!!

How about you - any Sunday plans?

Have a great day and stay safe out there!

44 comments:

  1. Those are wise words from A Well Styled Life, and I think you mainly are doing this. It seems like you have a solid foundation of basics. Do you feel like you have a gap? You may need to add a few more casual pieces to your wardrobe's backbone, depending on your future plans, but otherwise I think you've figured it out style-wise with your clothes as well as with your house. If you are bored with your clothes, it is probably time to punch it up with creative accessories, which I think you're already doing but maybe you want more variety.

    I may tune in to the Superbowl (haha that is my Kate Spade clutch related pun for today!), but I am not enthused with the teams this year and could really take it or leave it. This is a sad state of affairs because I am normally a big NFL fan. I will definitely record it and watch the commercials :)

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    1. Well Cate - I never watch football, and when I do is always the Pats, so will be interesting. I will miss seing Tom Brady! Thanks for the good words!!

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    2. I am going to put my #12 jersey on and watch the ads.

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  2. Jennifer is absolutely brilliant isn't she? That is such a spot on assessment. I love your house and it really is so you, I see all the little things that make it "Wendy"

    As I too am now coming up for 50, there is certainly a change in my style, when I started blogging three years I was still strutting in 18 inch mini skirts and whilst I might still have the legs, I also have crepey skin and incipient jowls - so it is not a good look no matter that some say to ignore the style constraints of age - I don't want to be mutton dressed as lamb.

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    1. I hear you Tabs! It really comes down to comfort, but I realized that I need to take small doses of everything - I got caught up in excitement of J Crew, but really most of it isn;t me - I think I need to stick to their basics and will be much better for me! incipient jowls. I am stealing that for a dinner party I am going to next weekend!

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  3. Go Ravens. It's nachos and beer for us (I prefer root beer - Virgil's is favorite of the month). We will start watching all the hype in a few hours. No time for wardrobe today!

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    1. No...I am not naked. Just meant it's all about football!

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    2. Too funny!!!!There is a kind of root beer around here by a company called Stewarts - root beer is actually my favourite pop - does that make me 8 years old?

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    3. It is the only other liquid, besides wine, that I will waste calories on. I love it too.

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  4. WMM, so glad you had a big Ah-hah moment and that A Well...helped you there. Two of the reasons I appreciate the blogosphere, insights and generousity. It does always sound like you have a plan for you home and that is filled with things you truly love that love you back, versus just things you admire elsewhere but that don't work for YOUR life. (Remember the recent family room chair quest and the holiday mug jettison?) I also think that if you do go back to an office, there is still room for a wee but of quirk there (colour, texture, the occasional stand-out accessory) versus feeling you need to be 5-days-a-week "boring". Bring on the Wendy, embellished chic!
    Also with Cate's comments that a couple of workhorse essentials for your right-now life through summer could open up all kinds of new closet possibilities.
    We saw a CBS special on the commercials and I soaked up AdWeek so will just make some small snack and tune in for "Bey" at half-time (her press conference solo so impressive). No Pats and married to a Brit who thinks all things American football super-slo-mo. My team will be on the telly in a few minutes.

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    1. Hey GF - thanks for the great insight! I have not seen any of the commercials or pre-shows, so will be watching with interest!

      Went out to breakie with some friends this morning and am now jazzed up on coffee - will be hopping for the rest of the day! Watch for me doing backup for Miss B at halftime!

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  5. What a great topic and what wise words!
    I have been thinking a lot about that too,because my style is so different from the average german woman and i always feel that i am stared at. I come to accept that and am comfortable with my look(most of the time).
    My stacked bracelets(which i always wear)are part of my signature look too.

    In my house i am happy with a mordern,clean look and a few antiques thrown in.

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    1. Hi Ina - how do the german women dress - is it very frou frou?

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    2. Exatly the opposite,super casual and not feminin.

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    3. It is like that around here mainly - jeans and cheap sweaters or yoga pants! I do find some of the younger girls

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  6. What a thoughtful post. I've just discovered Jennifer's blog and she is lovely. That was great advice she gave you as well, the blog community continues to amaze and inspire me, it's such a fun part of our lives.
    I don't think you're a late bloomer, I think most women don't ever come to these realizations. It actually takes quite a bit of thought and planning to really take charge of one's personal style. You've done it. This is so true about your house, it is very Wendy, and your approach going forward, Embellished Chic, is going to work out brilliant I know it!
    I'm going to have a look around my house today and see what it says.

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    1. It is funny - I don't know why I never thought of it that way before. WHen I looked at my house, I realized that I did not feel the same way about my wardrobe (well about a lot of my wardrobe) and it was kind of a shocking realization! let me know what you find out!

      You should see my family room right now - it is a horrifying mess due to the reno - oh my goodness! Barry finished the DVD shelving unit, but the rest, oh my. I hate renovating - I don't so well during the mess period!

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  7. Hi Wendy,
    I read your blog all the time, but I don't comment often. You do a great job of posting thoughtful entries that mix humor and insight.

    I appreciate your point today about taking styling cues from the likes of Gayle or style guides or stylists in general. When did this cultural phenomenon start? When did ordinary women lose the ability to decide what their own style is? You used the word 'derivative,' and it fits perfectly. While I enjoy seeing unexpected color pairings, I have started to recoil from stylists' dictates about what to wear with what or how many shirts I should pile on or how to button my collar. Where's the quirk if one is wearing precisely what the model in the 'style guide' wore? Doing so is like voluntarily forfeiting the aspects of one's identity others perceive via one's clothing choices.

    And I have to add: everytime I read your closing tag, I think of Hill Street Blues!

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    1. Hey Kiki Cee - so glad you posted! I just realized that a lot of my wardrobe wasn't me because it was being styled elsewhere. I am not sure I will do a better job - but I know lots of fabulous ladies who use a bit of all and make it their own and honestly, I was feeling like a JCrew fashion victim as opposed to someone who loves some things about J Crew and can leave the rest. Will keep you posted on it all!

      And you are so right - my tag line is an absolute rip-off of Hill Street Blues - I used to love that show and I like to send good thoughts to everyone who is gracious enough to stop in here and read or say hi!

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  8. Wendy, I think the WSL is right on, I love the way she puts it. You have this big, quirky, warm, bubbly personality and you should let it shine through your personal style. The outfits you picked are a great reflection of what you like and feel comfortable in. You don't need Gayle.
    In fact, there is certain J.Crew-esque look that poses for quirky and original but it gets so predictable and devoid of any personality. You would get bored and grow unsatisfied if you try to follow when you can lead. Do dress like you decorate your house and don;t you worry about the 'stylists'. I think you are doing just fine.

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    1. Oh - right back at you AJC - I always love the way you style things and own it - I am getting there, but I think some of it is like Tabs said above - at 50, you gotta know what you feel comfortable in. It isn't giving up, but is being true to who you are!

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  9. I indulge my taste for the goofy at Urban Outfitters, I think I'm the oldest person who shops there! but the stuff that will perk things up for a season and then go quietly away, mostly comes from UO. And the classics, the love it forever things, are RLBlack Label or Blue Label, one or two a year. Still cherish a few Donna Karan Collection things that I found at Loehmann's years ago, from when Donna had a bad year and I had a bonus. I love some of my JC pieces, but I love them knowing they don't have the stamina to be "forever" pieces, it's like those 19th century romantic novels where someone falls in love with someone who has a mysterious and always fatal disease.

    Stylist, life coach, personal assistant - gad, I thought I was pampered for having a dermatologist and a hair cutter. I support your choice to think - and dress and live - independently. You go, Wendy!

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    1. Hey Fred! Are you back or you still in dreamland? You have whet my appetite to go to Hawaii? Did you love it? I like my RL, too - all of his stuff is making the cut! I have no black label at all - they don't sell any black label around here! Will have to check it out - where would i look at that in NYC? and I keep forgetting to ask - is Century 21 worth a visit or over-hyped - have never gone before and always wondered!

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  10. "Embellished chic" - love it!

    I suppose there are women out there who were born into a certain style and will carry it with them all the way to the old folks' home. But I think for most of us, style is an evolution. We decide certain trends don't work for us (no matter how appealing they look on others). We find new appreciation for our closet work-horses. It's a process. I think you're really on track. I really love the four outfits your chose that represent your style, especially that last one!

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  11. Thanks Miss MW!

    I think you are right - mine is definitely evolving as I age and have different experiences!

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  12. Hi WMM! What a wonderful and thoughtful post! Jennifer's words are spot on and so wise, too! I am excited for you and your 'a-ha' moment. The outfits you chose to represent your style are some of my personal favorites, and I just love your 'Embellished Chic'!

    I am not a big football fan, but my boys enjoying watching the game and eating all the Superbowl food that I make for game time. I think the commercials are the best part, so I may watch for a little while, but will more than likely head to our bedroom to watch a movie or DA. :)

    Enjoy the rest of your afternoon!

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    1. I got the boxed se and am moving on to episode 8 - keeps better and better!

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    2. Oh yes, definitely better! Did you get the Christmas special too?

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  13. Hi WMM, I am also excited for your style epiphany. It's always fun to see how someone's style evolves. I remember watching an episode of Candice Olsen's interior design makeover show, and she said that she often takes a peek at the owner's wardrobe for clues about style and favourite colours, as she is of the view that the home should be a reflection of the owner's personal style. So I think you are definitely on the right track by looking at your house and seeing the parallels between what you see in your house and what you would like to see in your wardrobe. Can't wait to see how things develop for you this year!

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    1. Oh thanks Louise - I always love your perspective on things and sense of style! I appreciate the commentary and love Candice!

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  14. I think as a style blogger, it is hard sometimes not to get caught up into the hype of certain trends or want what "everyone" else has got. Good for you for looking more towards what you have to making it work and be more uniquely you.

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    1. Thanks Lisa! I agree and it is good to remind myself of that!

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  15. I think you are being too hard on yourself. You have made many thoughtful and flattering purchases this year, and put together lovely outfits with them. Not every item of clothing has to be perfect- sometimes they can just be enjoyable. So often I have thought I had the "perfect" pair of shoes, of dress, or sweater, and I have grabbed for the last minute unique sale item more than the tried and true. I think one thing that I am noticing is not that many bloggers are tired of shopping, or of one retailer over another,, but that as time goes on, they have amassed enough of a wardrobe that there are fewer necessities and blanks to fill. After all, once you have a flattering evening outfit, a navy blazer, a trench coat, the right handbag, etc. you do not need another. So , I think instead of lamenting purchases made, we should realize that they filled in the gaps, and now we can enjoy the fruit of our judicious purchases. I always like your outfits, and I am sure you will come up with more winners.

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    1. I think that this is a good point, and it's true about a lot of bloggers.

      It seems like a lot of people hit a moment in their lives when it becomes clear for some reason or another that they need to dress better/it's time to put some effort into themselves/etc. That comes with a lot of shopping, which I think then tips over into over-shopping, and then it gets adjusted back down again. And yes, at the end of that, there is a much more useful wardrobe!

      The question of really figuring out personal style takes a bit longer, I think, but doesn't necessarily need new purchases to establish.

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    2. Oh good points by both of you! I think that is true for about 80% of me in the last year. However, the other 20% was purely recreational shopping, chasing new cute thing! Have to be careful as a lot of those things came over and really haven't seen the light of day! AT least in last 3 months I had sense to send things back!

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  16. I'm with you in the style evolution dept. Before the Internet I did just fine with outfit creativity. I have found myself duplicating looks I see online, which is not a bad thing. I just know I can come up with good things without it. I wish I did that more these days. I hope you had fun watching the game. It was a nailbiter in the last half for sure.

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    1. Hi Gigi! I was surprised by the 49ers surge! I really thought it was going to be a blowout! Some great fun watching the game and Miss B did not disappoint! She put it all out there!

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  17. This is a great revelation! It's great that you're happy with your home, because you know what "just right" feels like there and can now try to seek that same "it's me" feeling in your wardrobe. I like all of the outfits that you posted, especially the first one.

    My house is pretty minimal but not cold or unadorned. I think that's a bit related to my style. To take the metaphor further, my house has a couple of pockets that I can't seem to get organized and ruin the vibe of the rest of it for me - I think my wardrobe has those distracting zones too! A work in progress. I also think my house doesn't fully express who I am, nor does my wardrobe.

    Somewhat related, in the sense that it's about style stability, I was thinking this morning, that one thing that seems to go a little under-discussed in the blog world is how to deal with weight fluctuations.

    Maybe it's just me, but I have about a 7lb range, no matter what I do. I'm petite and that weight goes to my hips, which means that parts of my wardrobe sometimes just don't fit. For me, that's a real barrier to "building a wardrobe" because I'm not sure if I should just wear clothing that will adjust to the fluctuations (wrap dresses, etc.), or buy multiples in different sizes, etc. That's a bit of a tangent but somehow seems related!

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    1. p.s. Happy Monday :)

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    2. Abby that is a good question - Miss FFM did a post on this a few months ago - but I am going to raise it in its own post today!

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    3. Thank you for remembering and mentioning my post, WMM! It was called 'Dressing For The Size You Are Now..., and can be seen here. We had a lot of great discussion on that one, with shared thoughts about what to do with the extra gain. I'm looking forward to seeing your post about the topic today! :)

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    4. YOu got pride of place in my post this morning! I bookmarked that one for my ongoing use!!!

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  18. I'm so glad you found my suggestions worthwhile! I've just started reading you recently and love your topics. Your readers are so involved in the discussion it's fantastic!! That's how we all learn...bouncing ideas off each other. Your fun style is so evident in everything you say and show. Your first outfit is my favourite. Slimming and the tunic is a perfect length to show your great legs.
    Have a great day,
    Jennifer

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    1. Jennifer - you really did make me think and that is why I love the group that gathers here - it is small (I don't allow myself to be googled yet - long story) but mighty and they are all so nice and kind, it is quite heartwarming!!!

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Kindness is a virtue...