Monday, July 21, 2014

Love People, Use Things

one of the great philosopher kings

I read an interesting article in the New York Times this morning and you can read it here.

I won't repeat the arguments in the piece, since you can read it through the link above, but the gist of the article is that fame, fortune and money do not buy happiness.

Only through loving people, all people, and finding ways to support them, can we find happiness.

I think most of us know that.

And yet...

And yet, we spend a lot of time in our lives chasing things, possessions as an activity in and of itself.

We are all susceptible to this.  We are constantly inundated about glamorous images of other people's homes, vacations, new purchases.

It all looks so amazing.  We don't see the cobwebs in the corner, the spat in the car en route to a restaurant, the credit card bill.

I saw one of those Facebook images the other day that talked about how people work harder to acquire things which in turn forces them to work harder to maintain those things.

When I was working crazy hours I was not able to invest as much time in the people I love (except for my family) and I can tell you that it made me feel empty and lost at times.  Since I have been able to invest time in my friends regularly, I feel like a different, happier, person.

The article made me think of the changes in my life over the past couple of years...

Yesterday, Naomi had a wonderful post about her evolving blog.

I have had my own blog crisis of late.

When I began this blog I was writing about redefining my personal style as I headed into my fifties.

Then I up and left my job to start over and move into new directions.

I have struggled to get over the habit of purchasing clothing for a life that I no longer live.  I think that takes time and I do feel I am on track.

When I used to get stressed at work, really stressed, I bought new shoes!  Now I have either given half of my shoes away or am consigning them.  I don't wear 'em.  The infamous wall of shoes is probably down by at least 15 to 12 pairs.

And slowly, I am getting better about only buying what I need versus buying because something would be fun to have.  There is a cost to all things, and monetary is only part of it.

I continue to try and simplify and lighten up, which probably explains my move to a lighter house and clothing palette.

Because of all of this, the blog is evolving.

I share a lot on this blog, but to be honest, my life isn't that exciting.

However, what I do share is 100% me, good or bad, no varnish or polish, warts and all.  If you walked in my house and met me, you would find me exactly as what you see here.  Although I do hope I am funnier in real life!

But I have less money than I had before and much less desire to shop.  You aren't going to see a lot of clothing posts now.  I feel foolish doing outfits now; I am quite sure you have seen all I own and really I don't often have much to say about it all.

I don't live in a fancy house.  All renos are done by us and done on the cheap.

I am not going to be going on a ton of exotic trips.

My feelings towards things are changing and I am not sure if that is entirely due to my changing circumstances, turning 50, being tired of it all, or all of the above.

When I read the article this morning, I was reminded yet again that it is people, not things that give us pleasure in life.

So I will keep blogging, but the blog is beginning to morph into something else, although into what I am still unsure.

I hope many of you will continue to come along for the ride, as it is the people that pop in that are important to me.

Oh and every now and then we will talk about clothes.  I will always like clothing.  But right now, I feel like I am more interested in how I can better serve people, through my writing, my actions, my life.

I feel like I am on another journey and it may be about making my own corner of the world, myself included, a place of joy.

I was born in Alabama, people at school make fun of me all the time for it. What theyre to ignorant to learn is that sometime the best people are from there. Back home people knows each other, they have each others' backs. In Alabama people are the sweetest kindest most down to earth people, sure they get called rednecks all the time but i'd rather be called that than be called materialistic.In the south children are raised with morals. So think twice before you judge me about where im from.

I love my new life and every day is an adventure.  

Have a great day and stay safe out there!

xoxo wendy 


  1. I believe you lead a joyous much better than exciting. Your enthusiasm, humor, spirit, and joy simply beam in your blog. There is just a warmth to you. And no, not every post is kittens and rainbows. Life is life and you are living it well.

    1. You are right - I pretty much do lead a joyous life and the ups and downs are all part of that!

      Kittens and rainbows - snort! How are the muscles today?

  2. I really like the way your blog is evolving and your thoughts and reflections are a great reminder to me to slow down and enjoy the everyday things. It's hard being a professional woman and a mom. I really appreciate the advice of someone who has been there and done that. Thanks for sharing your wisdom Wendy. There is beauty in everything, sometimes we just need to slow down to see it.

    1. Thanks A! You have said a mouthful about the difficulty of being a professional woman and a mom! I have been working part-time on a contract for the last couple of months and though I love it, it really complicates life again at times! The joy of it is though is that I have chosen to do it, which I think makes all the difference in the world!

  3. But what do you mean by not exciting? you mean like you dont skydive and tell us about it? ;) I think a blog should evolve or reflect the person. We come for your writing and take on things more than the subject itself ( well I do anyway ). Thanks for the wake up call though Wendy!

    PS re the money thing - it is one of life's biggest challenge. Jim Carrey said something so apt recently which was I wish everybody wealth and fame just so that they realize it isn't everything and they dont chase it.

    1. Naomi - actually I think I would rather swim with sharks than sky dive!! Jim is right. So long as I have a roof over my head and food on the table, I am happy!

  4. The infamous wall of shoes - so funny! I ruthlessly cleared out my shoes this weekend, I am no longer the girl in the 5 inch heels - nor do I want to be - I've kept a few very special ones but the single cocktailing girl around town was me 16 plus years ago, I like this more subdued age which brings comfier shoes!
    You are such a leader Wendy, one of those with a fire in their belly and an innate will to do something, we are so so different, I do not have any drive or any ambition whatsoever.

    yours Will o the Wisp.

    1. 5 inches! I bow down to you - I never went higher than 3 1/2!!! I am all for comfortable shoes as well. As for being a leader - I think I am more just a Capricorn, always plodding along! I do have a tremendous work ethic, at times to my detriment! For example, I should have put about 80 hours into this contract, but I am sure I have put in at least twice that!

  5. Yay for you! You sound happy and have a wonderful perspective on so many interesting things. Looking forward to seeing how things turn out!

  6. love that george carlin quote!

    blogs have to evolve with their owners b/c nothing ever stays the same. i think that is what's happening with you. i love that you are embracing the changes and going with the flow. i think that is key to happiness. lovely post wendy. x

  7. From a fellow Cap, keep on plodding . . . And writing! The blogs I read regularly are mostly from ladies I "met" at The Mothership yet now have little to do with our erstwhile favorite retailer.

    1. Honestly Hex, I don't think we can do anything but plod, can we?

      You are right, the mothership folks have scattered hither and yon. Wonder if Mickey misses us?

  8. i love to read your blog,becausevits real and its you!
    Things change and blogs change,so thats natural and should be.
    I might be the only one left buying from the crew,lol

    1. Ina - if it wasn't for you, I would know what to look for! thanks for the kind words!

  9. Your blog reflects your personality and reading it is like catching up with a dear friend. We want to know what you're up to and I think it's pretty exciting, Barry and the reno projects, Wendy out at protests!
    I'm behind on my reading but I wanted to tell you I love the way your blog has evolved, it is your true, wonderful voice!

  10. As someone who actually sees you outside of the blogosphere I recognize your passion for doing what's right and caring about other people so bring it on!!!

  11. I love this post Wendy and for sure I will still come here for many different reasons. Yes, we tend to buy so much more than what we need. All of us know it and yet, many of us continue, even when adjusting... We have that discussion very often with my husband as it was not like that when we met. I can't really recall when it all started... And I keep thinking about all this every time I go on online shopping or when I go in shops... It has really become a way of identifying one and a way a showing you belong to a social group. I often wonder if we will just get over this trend globally... I am getting lost here... Sorry... So yes, I will keep coming!

    1. Steph - I think it is confusing. We all love to show our new purchases to friends, and I do think of everyone here as a friend, but IRL we would all be talking about a lot more than that, so I am trying more and more to make this more like just a drop in!

  12. I don't read any 100% clothes blogs-- the people are much more interesting to me. What interests you others find valuable/funny/ponderable. All good.

  13. No worries about the new direction of you blog Wendy. If anyone is looking to be dazzled by someone's fabulous clothes or lives there are many places to visit in blogland, I am sure. I come to read your blog because you are you. It is delightful to me that you are willing to so beautifully willing to share your world. You sparkle no matter what you wear!

  14. Not quite sure how my sentence got so garbled but of course I was really trying to say was thanks for sharing your world. One day I will remember to Hit the preview button and find all errors before I publish! Or then again maybe not.

  15. I enjoy a peek into the lives of kindred spirits. I look forward to whatever you are writing.

    1. right back at you Jen! I saw the wonderful Instagram photos! Looks like you had a blast in Anne Land!

  16. I don't read your blog for the clothes Wendy - more because of your writing style and what you have to say about things. I actually don't enjoy blogs about buying stuff, or with a constant wish list of what the blogger is lusting after. I like blogs that make me think.
    We all go through stages in life, and you've just entered a new one - I'm looking forward to seeing how it evolves!
    The one thing blogging has shown me is that what you see is a fraction of what goes on in someones life on a blog. For every pretty vignette there is a pile of paperwork shoved just out of frame. I've also noticed that photos don't show up dust and dirt in my house. I tried to photograph my filthy windows (and they were really pretty dreadful before they were finally cleaned after all the building work) but they didn't look half as dirty as they actually were. It was disappointing! xx

  17. and what a great jpurney it is.....nice to have the old (but much younger looking Wendy back) xox


Kindness is a virtue...