Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Style Wednesday: Shopping Retreat!


Well first let me say I am gobsmacked at how many of you sent me such lovely birthday greetings!

As Mr. GSL said it so eloquently (does he say anything NOT eloquently?  I don't think so!) - it was a party that spread across 6 continents, multiple time zones and there is a rumour that disco balls sold out world-wide.

But as is the case with all excessive things in my life, I must eventually come back to the real (virtual) world!

I have been thinking about clothing and shopping for about a month now and my shopping "moratorium" is a product of that contemplation and not vice versa.

Many of you have been along for the style ride, as I neared 50, and then suddenly left work - there were so many life transitions that I began to feel and act like Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

I've gotten some absolutely fantastic things from the internet and the blogsphere: friends, opportunities to learn things, easy access to shopping when I need it.  But as is always the way, there are dark sides to every light side, a Mount Doom to my Bag End.

Before the internet and blogs, I had no idea what was considered "covetable".  Suddenly I felt weird that I didn't know about this expensive shoe or bag or article of clothing.  I always considered myself to have nice clothing and style, but here was a whole other level of shopping and price point that I had never even considered. 

And then the online sales.  I like a bargain as much as the next person, but was beginning to feel that each new rollout from every retailer, each new "sale", suddenly had me behaving like a bloodhound at the hunt.  And since I needed more casual clothing last year, it was fun. And then it wasn't fun.  Not because I couldn't afford the things I bought - in fact I spent far less in 2013 than I had in the previous ten years.

No - it wasn't the cost.  It was the feeling that I had been sucked into being a consumer, acquiring things I did not really need but felt I should buy because it was such a deal or because someone else had bought it and it looked fabulous on them.  I was buying a couple or four things a month and I was sick of it. 

Hence the cold turkey. 

And today, I looked into my closet and it wasn't pretty (this is fall/winter only):




Cluttered and unworn, a lot of it forgotten about or not loved enough to wear.


So I began to pull out things I didn't love.  I pulled out 50 things.  I can still do more, but this is a good start and tomorrow I am going through scarves.  I am doing a Janet, getting rid of 100 things this week.

 Things should buoy you up, not weigh you down, and exorcising the demons from my closet is already lightening my load.  And I don't miss buying at all, because I am simply not looking.





No consignment this time  - the things I don't love will all go to charity to be enjoyed by someone who needs them, which is not me.

No shopping for me to replace things gone.

My shopping plan for 2014 will utilize a completely different strategy: a set amount in April/May, a set amount in October/November.

I am not shopping sales.  During my approved shopping period, if I see something I REALLY love on sale, of course I will buy it, but otherwise I will gladly pay full price from now on, since if I am unwilling to pay full-price, I should be unwilling to buy the thing in the first place.  Obviously there may be the odd stray outside this time frame, but they will be rare and because of something unanticipated.

There will always be something pretty.  I will not miss ANYTHING.  And I will buy my things together so that I buy things that all work together, as opposed to the orphans I have in my closet.  I will, in 2014, be shopping exactly like my mother shopped in 1974.

And I am pulling a page from Dani's book and dressing up a bit more starting this week.  I don't want to dress corporate anymore - been there, done that - but I do miss dressing prettilyy, so will be putting on the good stuff to walk the dog.  After all - if it's still in the closet, it's cause I love it...

Like yesterday's birthday outfit, LBD and creamy jewelled cardigan.





So I don't know if this will be of any help to anyone, but it has helped me to sort through all of my feelings about shopping and my wardrobe. 

And I still love all your blogs about your great deals and they will give me lots of ideas so when I am ready I might know what I really want, what I really need and what I really love.  Cause at 51, I ain't just going to buy something on a whim anymore or because some sales clerk tells me I look fabulous in it!

Would love to know how you instill discipline in your shopping habits?

Have a great day out there and stay safe!

51 comments:

  1. 50 things? Wow! That seems ruthless to me now, but I did something similar about 4 years ago too. Not sure could do it again, though.

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    1. Hi Rose! I don't mind having certain things in my wardrobe that are rarely worn - fancy dress things, Christmas tees, etc, but there were things in my closet I just kept passing by again and again. It was getting to be odd and I realized that I didn't love them so I never reached for them. And then there were other things I had completely forgotten about, never wore at all this winter, because I couldn't see them. I would love to be as ruthless as Janet was, but I do like the odd choice! Having said that, some things, I will store for a few months and see how I feel about them next fall. I may feel very different then, who knows? And this doesn't include some of my old work stuff. I am about set to go to two suits only and haven't actually worn any in the last year...

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  2. I love your idea and I really need to skip the whole consignment thing as it just stalls me (have to take it there, etc and has to be the right season etc etc.) and I should be grateful I can pass things along when they are burdening me..... i get so hung up on where I get rid of things, how to get rid of things, etc. that i never seem to get to the feeling free of things part of the process!

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    1. Anon - I think you sum up the consignment process perfectly to me. One thing I forgot to say above is that the few things that I love but are tight right now (sigh) I am not giving away, but will check on them and me in the fall!

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  3. what a refreshing point of view….it seems that so many blogs have morphed from being a voice of thought to a shopping list of recommendations…and the thoughts of the world have lost out in the process….bravo to you and I absolutely applaud your choices.

    btw…it seems one of the great thing of getting to these mid years is the realisation that one can do what one likes, and not what one is pressured into doing...

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    1. Virginia Blue (fabulous name!) - I have to be 100% truthful - I also realized that I don't have a whole lot to add in the world of style. There are dozens of others with more panache and innate sense of style than I. Now when I share an outfit it will be because I liked it myself. If there is someone out there getting style ideas from me, I would be afraid for them! Will keep you posted!

      and you are right - this year has been about me shedding old skins, which is apropos, since the year of the snake ends at the end of January... Hmmm - might do a post on that!

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  4. I've pulled a few things out of my wardrobe this week that have not been good buys. I'm now becoming much stricter about internet purchases. These are items that I would never have bought had I tried them on in a store, but when they come in a parcel, then.... So, my new resolution is only to keep what is absolutely perfect (hence those shoes going back). I think the Internet has opened up a whole different world - stye wise we are shrinking globally as trends jump shores in a blink, and with border free purchasing, we have access to things we never did in the past. But it's also changed the whole way we shop, so I feel like I've still got my training wheels on with it all (despite having many purchases under my belt).
    Well done on the cleansing clear out. And I love your birthday dress up outfit - very chic xx

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    1. Thanks Heidi! I do like the internet in that there are only 2 clothing shops I can find anything at here in our very small city - so it is nice to have options! I have a body that requires trying on things however, and unless the returns are relatively easy, I am scared of certain brands!

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  5. I admire your shopping retreat, bravo! Just last night I made a list of things I will no longer look at, whole categories like jewelry, dresses, skirts, shoes, scarves, there must be at least a dozen, from my favorite retailer.

    I am loving your birthday outfit. But never mind the clothes, what have you been doing? You're looking younger and more beautiful than ever! You are ... radiant!

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    1. Tiffany Rose - we could be twins! I am doing the same thing this week! Today is scarf day. It is ridiculous what I hang on to - truly ridiculous. When I cleaned out yesterday, I was down to 4 skirts, which is plenty. few pairs of pants. more sweaters, but then I am always cold! Now it is funny as I am looking for dresses! If only we were the same size - we could switch!

      As for what I am doing. Hmm... Actually, I credit three things: a diet with lots of fruits and veggies (you can tell I enjoy eating!), NARS moisturizer and tinted moisturizer in the perfect shade for me and finally, meditating every single day. I think the latter is actually erasing lines!

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  6. Love your birthday outfit!
    Internet shopping and fashion blogs make it hard to make wise and rational decisions sometimes. It's amazing how easy it is to end up buying heaps of stuff that you don't really need or love - I am very guilty of that!
    As you know, I've been off shopping since October, and apart from the shoes and that herve leger dress fail, I've been successful.
    I love your idea of shopping twice annually... That's what I used to do before the internet sucked me in! I think I will give that a try too, although it's harder here due to our seasons and lack of choice.
    I also agree with your idea of not buying things on aisle. My rule used to be to never shop sales, as I used to believe that if I hadn't bought it at full price, then I didn't really like or need it. I think I need to return to that policy too.
    I have a fair number of things that I bought on sale that I don't wear as much as I should, and I think they need to go. You and dani have inspired me!
    Anyway, thanks for another thoughtful post.

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    1. This is the problem - the lack of choice and seasons. If I wait until Winter to buy Winter clothes, it's all local, and there's little choice (and it's relatively expensive, and I'll look like all my friends). This is why I inevitably buy Summer clothes in Winter and Winter in Summer. I was looking at coats online last night, and yesterday was 45C, which is quite ridiculous. ...

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    2. Oh Ruth - I hear you about the seasons where you live - it is similar to the lack of choice here.

      I will be curious as to how I do, but I have only set foot in one online site in the last two weeks - the one Tabs mentions in her blog today as I had never heard of them - and it has been such a lovely respite!!!!

      I didn't put this up above but I have also wondered if in addition to becoming an habitual shopper if I wasn't also just trying to "keep up with the Joneses". I have a lovely wardrobe and I love the clothes I kept and I think I am going to be all about pleasing myself for the next 51 years!

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  7. Lovely Birthday outfit! I have been decluterring my closet for the past two years. I had done some work again the past weekend... I know exactly what you mean when talking about buying things because of the influence of other factors... I have another issue, which is about buying things the right size. A post on this topic is pending... I will restrict myself for different reasons, but I think that definitely 2014 will be much different.
    It is a great post Wendy... Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Oh I can't wait for that post, Steph! Size is such an important issue, and the right size often makes us uncomfortable if we have topographical regions on our bodies...

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  8. What a lovely birthday classic you wore!

    I always apply the mantra 'need not greed', and never buy clothes from the internet. If you can't feel the quality, read the composition and care instructions, let alone try it on, then leave it where it is.

    Everyone should feel confident in their own style, and not be buffeted by the vagaries of endless fashion trends. Always a style leader; never a fashion follower!

    'Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.' - Oscar Wilde

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    1. Hi Curator - I hear you! I wish I could avoid the net altogether, save for inspiration, but there is very little choice where I live. When we are in Florida in early March I plan to try on a few things for my spring purchase consideration in different brands.

      Love the Oscar quote!

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  9. You are glowing Wendy - that outfit truly suits you. I think because of your coloring that you can pull of monochrome without looking severe.

    I don't really buy things on the internet...Bits and bobs but perhaps because I live in a huge shopping capital and am near the shops I tend to go to the store. having said that I haven't properly shopped in ages but when I do it is usually a big buy. I am pretty good but then a fever grips me and I have to just have to have a certain item. I love how we are all streamlining and maximizing though!!

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    1. Naomi - I would LOVE to shop in your neck of the woods!!!!

      That is my intention for Spring/Summer - a (very) few things of finer quality to add to what I own. No getting caught up in the enthusiasm of a sale moment. And I am hoping it will all go together!

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  10. Your closet is looking much more manageable. I am slowly going hthrough my things. Believe it or not I have 25 pairs of socks...this does not include the hosiery socks. How and why do I have so many?! Never thought I was a sock hoarder. Anyway, keep it up baby it seems to be working...you do look radiant.

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    1. Oh tights and socks are next. I did a major sock purge last fall, but struggled to get rid of tights and so that is on my list of 100 things as well. Just look at what Janet has wrought! ;-)

      As for sock hoarder - you should meet Barry. He never met a pair of socks he didn't like. It is almost a sickness!

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  11. Congratulations on your shopping strategy, I think that's the best way to go. I work in investments and you don't really want to add a penny stock to your portfolio even if it's cheap, it will just drag down your overall return. And as I grow older I feel I should be lightening up anyway in all sorts of ways. I mean I don't need that many outfits as I sail through my doctor's appointments in Access-A-Ride.

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    1. Marie - you made me snort there about Access-A-Ride!!! I am stealing your penny stock quote and will be adding it to the wall - with you as authoress of course!

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  12. Love the shopping strategy: less is more. And I'll join the others in saying how lovely you look!!

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    1. Thanks Jen - although if truth be told - there were 8 other photos that could not be used...

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  13. I love this post Wenders. As you know I have greatly reduced my wardrobe, getting rid of all the things I didn't wear (and I was keeping them for what exactly?) and the things that no longer fit me properly. Also the fabrics that made my skin crawl. Our FunkySteph really inspired me last fall with the idea of a 150 piece wardrobe, which sounds like a LOT of clothes but for 4 seasons it's fairly reasonable. It includes shoes and outerwear as well. I tend to wear the same things over and over so I don't need a whole bunch of stuff, and once I started adding my beloved Brora to my wardrobe I didn't want to wear skirts with poly linings etc.
    I'm trying not to add new things this year though I may replace a couple of basics like my navy sweater and camel cardigan. I desperately want the Brora Plaid Jacket of Wonder but then I'd want 4 new things to go with it... you can see what happens!

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    1. Dani - I hear you! I need to do a count - I am positive I exceed that amount tremendously! I haven't even hit my other stuff yet, so will have to let you know as I do that!!!

      As for wearing the same thing over and over again, you are dead right! And when you have too much you forget things, or at least I do, because I am a complete visual person - out of sight, out of mind!

      And you are right - if there is a new addition that requires additions, it can be more trouble than worth! That's why I really want to buy all at once, or within a short window, coordinating it all with what I have and with each other!

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  14. I will add to the other compliments, you look beautiful and glowing! Way to go Wendy!

    The blogs used to be a downward spiral for me. All the sales, the pretty items, the constant updates. They served a purpose as at that point I needed new clothes as I accepted my post baby body and my style had chaned. As time went on I noticed that I bought unnecessary things that sat unloved in my closet. Over the last year I stopped buying items that weren't "me." I made a few impulse buys, but overall I have been very successful. I like to shop sales. I try things on at full price, but wait for a sale and then purchase it. This has allowed me to buy better quality items and still stick to my previous budget.
    Also, like for you not browsing the web has helped a ton. I have branched out to better quality stores and just wait out their sales.
    Good luck with your shopping plan. I am rooting for you! Can't wait to see what you pick out this year.
    Wishing you the best year yet!

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    1. Thanks A! I think your shopping plan sounds really wise! I may use it to help me stretch my $! But like you as well, I have discovered that save a few exceptions, the cheap things do not get worn...

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  15. Like everybody said,you are glowing Wendy. Whatever you do,keep doing it as its working:)
    I also like everybody succumbed to sales and stuff i had to have.But i am at the point where i (mostly) know what i like and what looks good on me and i stick with that.
    It is temptation to live in a place where you could get everything(and i mean everything),but i enjoy that a lot,as there were litte choices where i lived in Germany and it was super expensive.
    Here i know what i want to get and try to wait until its on promo or sale and that is working pretty good.
    As far as seeing other blogs reviewing things,that is sometimes hard not to fall for "must have" but i am pretty good to stick with my list.
    Great post!

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    1. Good for you on sticking to the list. I have realized that that is NOT my personality type - I tried that last year and it really gave me no joy whatsoever. What I want more of in my wardrobe are special things (and I don't mean fancy things) and I will need to keep my eye out for those! Having said that, I did purchase 3 basic staple cashmere sweaters last fall - grey, white and black - and am hopeful that they will last 5 or 6 or more years!

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  16. Hi Wendy, I agree that you are positively glowing - would you consider doing a post sometime on your skin care and make up choices?

    Like A above, I wait for sales after scouting out the shops and online beforehand. I love to read the blogs and see what everyone else is buying and I love to learn about new-to-me brands, but I don't actually buy a lot. I must admit - I had to smile at the photo of your shoe closet the other day; to me that's a small boutique!!

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    1. Patricia - I think this is so funny, as I can't imagine anyone would be interested, but I will do one for you for sure. You will probably laugh at them! Actually, I saw some overlap with AudreyBella, so that was good!

      Oh the shoes are embarrassing - it is a real vice... I love colour and variety and that is mostly the winter stuff (some all year mixed in) and no boots. I need to be brutal there as well!

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  17. Love the outfit (and the animal print coat in the first pic!)
    As you know, Regina isn't exactly a glamorous shopping mecca though I have to say the store selection has gotten better over the last little while. I do the majority of my shopping online as the selection is better and I don't like wearing what 100 others in the same city are wearing. :) I also do my shopping on vacations as we usually go to the US once or twice a year. I usually try to plan out my shopping first, look up everything online, prices, etc and decide what I need, don't need, things that can wait awhile, etc and plan my budget accordingly. I also leave room for a spontaneous treat item or two as I always find one....LOL (I'm a sucker for Henri Bendel). Items are generally less expensive in the US than here, so I take advantage of what I can't get here, or pay less for something I know darn well is far more expensive back home!

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    1. Good plans LR and like you, we do not have a good selection here at all. I would be the Queen of Poly and look like everyone else if I only bought here.

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  18. Hi Wendy, congratulations on staying strong and being true to your resolutions and goals! I also reigned in my shopping habits and plan to stay the course. It has been key for me to delete certain blogs from my reading lists.

    So: do you want to be reminded by your readers if you stray, or do you want them to look the other way and enable your transgressions? ;)

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    1. Hi Anon! Nah - you can tell me! Though I will be modelling a birthday sweater tomorrow that was a gift! But no, I need all the help in this world I can get and I am not too proud to admit when I fall of the wagon!

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  19. Amazing that you got rid of 50 things you did not love. Very impressive start! And I love the creamy jewelled cardigan!

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    1. thanks Barb! There is a actually a pink cashmere V Neck that is waiting for Mary Mesheau and she doesn't even know it!!!

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    2. Oh and PS Barb - I think it is probably amazing in a bad way... sigh....

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  20. Looking good Wendy but now your pooch is probably going to demand some fab accessories too. Donating what you don't need is wonderful and this is how I did it a few times starting back around 1990. In Chicago's Lincoln Park is The Clayton Home (now an elder care facility) which was a half-way house for those with mental disabilities (but semi-functional) which was about 1 block from my apartment. They used to have a resident known as "The Walker" as every single day he marched up Clark Street did a big loop came back down Lincoln for his daily 15+ mile trek-every single day without fail. Everybody on Chicago's North Side knew who he was (if you described him) and marveled at his brisk pace, animated gestures and astonished at how far & hard he went every single day. He could go thru boots & clothes very quickly and always looked in tatters. He was my height (5'6" but he was pencil thin) and I found out from the staff he wore the same 8 1/2 shoe so I dropped off a box of stuff I never wore. Soon thereafter his treks were being made in argyle, & kacki/golfers' type attire and then passersby would say something to the effect of "looking good" and the cabbies would toot the horn at him and yell things like "GQ". He would always break out into a big toothy grin and give his thumb-up salute and then resume the argument with himself. It gave me an even better feeling whenever I'd see this or hear about it.

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    1. GSL, kudos to you. There is a difference between donating unneeded things to benefit others and getting rid of stuff to justify buying more and better: the ultimate affluenza. Would that we be cognizant of the difference and be more conscious in our ways.

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    2. I love this GSL! What an inspiring story! I agree with you and Anon - it is especially wonderful if you can donate specifically. I plan to donate my things to organization that helps welfare recipients get back into the workplace.

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    3. Good for you Wendy; that will have a big impact on helping a woman get back on her feet.. The more direct the hand-off the better as I've heard that some of these collection people cherry-pick the quality stuff and either keep it. ebay it, or put in consignment shops for personal gain. Sad, but true.

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  21. Sounds like your strategy is going great! I enjoy looking at fashion online, I won't lie! J. Crew is the only web site I will randomly browse, otherwise it's seeing what bloggers are wearing. I still need ideas for putting myself together, not so much what to buy but how to put the pieces I have together. It's useful, and I will miss your style posts for that reason. It all doesn't necessarily work on me and/or I don't have similar things, but that's the fun of fashion too, seeing how other people put things together. I don't think you have to have a giant wardrobe to enjoy that.

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    1. Oh Cate, I will definitely be posting outfits and trying some looks so never fear - plus I need the help!

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  22. Wendy, I'm trying not to shop and had a few pertinent paragraphs ready when I noticed Bluefly was having a flash sale on Tod's and Hogans, and there was 7% back on ebates!

    (please don't judge...

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    1. Snort! No judgements here, just love and acceptance! I've got the wine waiting!

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  23. I don't feel like I am qualified to comment on this post. I have been very bad with my shopping lately. I always fall off the wagon (that I am teetering on the edge of anyway ) during the end of season sales. I am a bargain shopper and can not stand to pay full price for anything. Of course there is also the buy one get one problem I have when Christmas shopping for others. I look at blogs everyday sometimes multiple times. I think my best plan would be to go to a spa to detox without my phone to check online sites. I better go to lululemon.com and buy some cute spa wear for the trip:)

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    1. SC - you crack me up!!! I suffer from the buy one, get one problem as well! Well we shall see how I do!

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  24. I have been feeling the same way for a long time - my closet is full to bursting and I only wear maybe 10% of what is in there. In a separate closet, there's an entire set of maternity wear, there's corporate business wear...it's tiring just to think about it. I've been slowly but surely selling off clothes. I need to recoup the funds so I can put them towards much more useful things, like course tuition fees for myself and school fees for the kids. Looking forward to hearing more about your wardrobe cull - I am going to do the same thing today! Wish me luck, I will try to be ruthless.

    Also agree with the others - you are positively glowing in your current photos! The cream cardigan with the sequins is perfect on you!

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