Friday, September 13, 2013

Miller Time Friday: Contemplating Rejection, but in a sunny kind of way...

Don't worry - I am not awash in rejection slips or anything for my work!
However, I assume I will soon by awash in SOME rejection slips.

The idea is slightly discomfiting...

Source

I had lunch with a friend today who is also pursuing a soon-to-be-illustrious writing career (Rewired who comments here from time to time and has fun blog with her random thoughts on everything.) and we got to talking about the concept of rejection.

Our previous work lives did not involve a lot of rejection.

Oh sure, I might not have gotten the odd coveted position I wanted along the way, but to be frank, I did not experience much in the way of professional rejection in my career.

And now, to use the Malcolm Gladwell Theory that it takes 10,000 hours (from his fabulous book, Outliers) of practise or experience to achieve phenomenal mastery in whatever one is pursuing, I have left a career where I had close to that number and replaced it with a new career path in which I am a complete and utter novice.

And even if I was THE MOST FANTASTIC UNDISCOVERED TALENT IN HISTORY, I know I will face rejection.

The literary agent(s) might not like it.  Some may like it, but not need this kind of book.  Some may like it but see no niche for this kind of book.  Eventually it will get pitched to publishers, many or all of whom may have the some issues or others that I can't even imagine (me being a novice and all).  And then when it does get published, it will be reviewed and even the best of reviews offer points of critique.

It can all be quite daunting, but also exciting.

It got me to thinking of all of the professions in which you put your body and soul out for all to see and face rejection on a continuous basis.  Many of you reading this may work in those kinds of careers.

To date, I have only had a couple of turn-downs from literary agents.  They were form letter turn-downs so it's not like I could take the rejection personally or specifically, but of course I did.  Then I shook it off and kept going.  Years ago, this is the point in the process where I opted for the safe route of a stable career and I have vowed to take the road not taken this time and keep going.

It even helps to talk about it openly with you all.  One thing I am trying to do is be really honest with everyone as I take this journey, especially with myself.  No more stuffing of emotions or feelings, no more not telling the truth or being embarrassed that the road I have chosen is more akin to the road Sisyphus took then the road of every heroine who wants to be a writer and suddenly gets discovered by a sympathetic editor in New York City who says "By God!  This book by Wendy is the most astonishing book I have ever read!  Stop the presses!  She'll lead our Christmas 2014 booklist" (cue trumpets, dancing bears and my well-dressed cameo on Scandal).





Dammit Wendy, I said tasteful gold party dress...

oh - sorry, Kerry....

So I slog on, writing the requisite 1500-2000 words a day, sending out the first 20 pages to random literary agents who accept submissions from random people like me whom I choose because I like the look of their faces on their websites (it seemed the best place to start - I mean, if I was scared of their picture on their website, imagine how scary that might be in real life! And yes, I am only being half ironical there).

I am not the first to take this journey, nor the last.  But I would love to hear how you have or do handle rejection and what lessons you have learned that might help me bounce back quickly as those slips come in!  And no I am not being negative - I truly do believe I am going to be published and that their is a book editor who is actively looking for me, they just haven't seen me yet...

Oh yes, and if you ARE an editor looking for your Christmas 2014 middle grade novel book, call me!  ;-)

In honour of rejection, let's have a drink shall we?

Now I don't suffer from bitterness, but this cocktail made me giggle and seemed very apropos to the topic:

A Bitter Canadian recipe

 
Scale ingredients to servings    

Fill highball glass with ice. Add whiskey, then fill with sour mix. Finish with 2-3 dashes of Angostura bitters and a squeeze of a lemon wedge.

For those of you who could possibly have missed it, you must hie yourself over to the Brora blog where they heap much love on our Dani, Brora spokes-model of the 21st century!  Congrats Dani!  You look beautiful in the pictures and it is well-deserved love for you!

I hope you all have the most glorious of Fridays - stay safe out there!



 

45 comments:

  1. Rejection stinks, that's for sure! I'll have an extra cup of coffee to toast to rejection! Have a great Friday!!!!

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    1. Hi Rynetta - is there much of that in academic publishing?

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  2. Have you gone to specialist agent first and honed your submissions and presenting? It might be an idea to do whatever you can to try and see some proper agents rather than the random submissions. Or even self publish?

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    1. Hi CSW - thanks for the advice. The genre doesn't lead well to self-publishing and I think I would not go there unless I had exhausted all possibilities. Have definitely done the honing and gotten good advice and feedback. The issue for me really is that I don't have connections so it will be methodically submitting to agents (was kind of joking on the looks of them comment above!. This appears to be the basic route from all the research and reading I have done from the associations to blogs on writing for this genre. I am hoping to be able to afford to go to the conference in NYC at the end of February and perhaps make some in-person connections. It is quite an adventure, but very interesting!

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    2. Try London and Australia while you are at it - sending and flying even! Google for book agent pitch days apart from conferences as well that they don't publicize very often.

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    3. Thanks - am definitely doing that! London I could do - cannot even imagine flying to Australia as it is so expensive and I am officially a struggling artiste! ;-)

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  3. Had to laugh at the drink..too funny. I must admit, I have lived a rather sheltered life. I do think you have a healthy attitude to all this and hopefully a lot of patience and a lot of support. My hubs cousin writes a late elementary school series. The first book she did self publish and gave several copies to libraries, friends, family, schools. I do believe some one (very small) picked her up. I do believe you have to continue to network and try to see people face to face. Much love.

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    1. Hey BB - you are definitely right. It is kind of neat to suddenly have to learn a whole new professional world at 50!

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  4. Rejections are par for the course for artists and writers and you need to hang in there. We'll be here to hold your hand and cheer you. I am reminded of Lily in To the Lighthouse who wanted to create and remain true to her vision even if her "canvases will be hung in servants' bedrooms or stuffed underneath the sofa". Honestly, I can't wait to read your book.

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    1. Oh Marie - I don't want to get ahead of our discussion over at Dani's next weekend, but that part of the book really moved me!! Actually the whole book moved me!

      My next task is to create a writing website for myself and I do plan to post some of my work there, so will keep you posted when that happens! thanks for the kind words!

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    2. You have sub a good spirit. I don't thin there is a magic formula to dealing with rejection. Men always say don't take it personally, but I haven't mastered that yet. Keep at it and I can't wait to read your work even if its on your own site for now.

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    3. Thanks A! I do think it does help to be open about it - it is what it is and if Elmore Leonard can get turned down for Get Shorty 87 times, I can suck it up!

      As for men, I often wonder if they don't also take it personally, but pretend other-wise?

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    4. WMM, you are supposed to put a big long nail on the wall, by the time the rejection slips start to encroach the head, you will be published.

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  5. Shopping a manuscript! This is so exciting! Rejection is part of the game, and I can only speak from academic publishing, but any game that involves peer review is a battle of the egos. I have not yet shopped a manuscript (still writing!) but I have meet with a specific publisher and she had great general advice. I think rejection says nothing about your talent but more about the profile of the publishing house and the taste of the editor. I think creating a website and business adds is crucial, and networking, networking, networking!

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    1. Business cards not adds, gah! Clearly I should not write before 6am :)

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    2. Oh, and I also wanted to add, maybe you have a few short stories you can shop? In academia at least, I've been advised that articles are easier to publish than books, and it's a good way to "get your name out there". Can you imagine, WMM in The New Yorker? Welcome to the life of a struggling artiste, chicly dress, of course!

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    3. Thanks AB! Great advice and makes me think I am on the right track. I do think some short stories are a good idea and am also writing in that vein. I also have a couple of draft articles to shop about some of my experiences in changing careers so drastically in mid-life. SO much to do! I am beginning the networking as well. In the end, a creative career is like any other career - just different rules and cast of characters!

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  6. Wendy you're so funny! But also determined, which will take you far. Approaching your new life as a writer as a job is the only way to go, I often read about writers who really say that the key is just slogging it out, hitting it every day, with a quota, just keeping at it. How is your office coming along? We'd love to see where you're working these days!
    AND thanks for that link love you are a darling. What a cheer-up that whole thing was.

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    1. Thanks Dani - I am actually getting it quite ship-shape, so will try and take some photos this weekend and post them on Monday! Virginia Woolf was right!

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  7. WMM,
    When I first started in a publishing based business, I was at an author visit given by Dan Gutman at my son's school. He showed the children his first 100 rejection letters. That was really a a turning point in my decision to submit my work. I also have a great link, written by the very successful daughter of a dear friend.
    http://www.blackholly.com/writingresources.html
    Hope this helps!

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    1. thanks KNityarns - this is awesome!!! 100 rejections. Phew, I will have grown a lovely strong outer skin by the time this is done, but is not a bad thing!

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    2. ps. knityarns - that is so cool that Holly is the daughter of a dear friend of yours - I am VERY familiar with her work - she is fabulous! So neat to see someone so talented become so successful!

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    3. Hi WMM, if you like Holly Black's books, perhaps you should submit to her agent, Barry Goldblatt. He and his colleague Joe Monti do represent some fantasy authors and perhaps would be interested in your book. Joe represents William Alexander, who won the National Book Award for a debut children's title last year. His agency's address is http://www.bgliterary.com/. DN

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    4. Thanks DN! Will check that out! The book I a,currently shopping is a middle grade funny adventure/mystery, but I am working on a YA fantasy trilogy, so if they aren't interested in my fuirst book will keep them in mind for that series! Thanks for the great advice! I am so hoping to make it to the SCBWI conference in NYC in feb- would help me so much, as I am in the middle of nowhere - (well it is somewhere to me but you know what I mean!)

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  8. Hi Wendy, I do think that you have a very good attitude about presenting your work - rejection is part of the territory and so you just have to suck it up. I only have a small bit of experience with the publishing world; I recently helped an old friend (old politics professor from uni days) to proofread/edit a book. Of course, that was non-fiction, perhaps a different experience. He seemed to find a publisher quickly (a small niche one)but since then they have made some changes which have been hard to take. So it doesn't stop at getting accepted - you need that thick skin throughout the whole process! Good luck, it's fascinating to follow along on your journey.

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    1. Thanks Patricia! You are so right - it is a slog the whole way through - I often think that the writing I am doing is the easy part!!!

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  9. I once got my dream book deal, with the best agent in London.
    I burst into tears on the phone, jumped for joy, it was honestly that happiest day of my life, I've never been good at anything, never passed an exam and I couldn't believe that finally my mothership had come for me.
    Fast forward 8 weeks later when they decided they didn't want the book after all.
    It was 6 weeks of the deepest depression, it was really hard to come back from it, I was devastated.
    So yeah, rejection is my best pal WMM!

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    1. oh that is terrible! Did you try taking it elsewhere or did it stop you up? Years ago I got the loveliest personal letter of rejection from a publisher who told me that they loved my book. Of course, who knows if they did or not, but it took the sting out of it all!

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    2. They asked me! I didn't even pitch it.

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    3. Oh isn't that CRAZY! I don't even presume to understand the publishing world! Wait - let me revise that - I don't even presume to understand the world!

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    4. Someone big heres asked to work with me so it was them who sealed the deal, then changed their mind about a book.

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  10. Hi WMM! Sorry to read about the rejection. It is hard to swallow, but I understand it is part of the business. If you wish, I can introduce you to my friend and perhaps she can give you some pointers to help you out.

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    1. Thanks Rose - all advice greatly appreciated!!!!

      You know what my trouble is today - those sparkly kikis you showed in your blog this a.m. - oh my gosh - I think those could be magical no-rejections-to-be-had shoes... they could fit in nicely with the fairy shoes....

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  11. Hi WMM,

    I think this is fabulous and I wish you all the luck in the world. Hey, who knows, maybe one of your cold mailings will get someone's attention! It's happened, right?

    It looks like you are getting some great advice from people with more experience and connections than I. My only experience is in academic publishing, where you aim to publish a series of related articles before a book. This track record undoubtedly helps in all sorts of ways.

    Some things I've noted about trade press publishing today: many people are "discovered" through blogs. Is there a way you can create a blog and a following surrounding your writing project? Also, I think your idea of pitching a magazine article, maybe somewhere like Ladies Home Journal?, talking about your career change and mentioning your writing might also attract some interest. Or go the more traditional route by publishing short stories, etc., in writing journals/magazines first, which would certainly get your book pitch/inquiry put in a different pile.

    Earlier this year a friend of mine published an op-ed piece and within days had been contacted by three publishers to write a book, and now has a big contract! I think just getting yourself out there in any way you can would be helpful.

    Thanks for sharing your journey, it's always fun and thought-provoking to read your blog :)

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    1. Thanks Anon - fabulous advice! I am going to work on exactly that - my writing site and will let you know when it's up. I think you are right about the short stories and the articles and have started down that vein, too, so you have certainly reinforced to me, that I may be on the right track!

      As for sharing my journey - thanks for your kind comments, but honestly, I always feel so much better after I share something here - people are both kind and have good advice. Plus, once it is out of my head, I typically let it go!

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  12. Wow - publishing a book - that's something that I've always wanted to do! Just know that while you might get rejected a few times something amazing will come along, and then I can say hey, I knew Wendy from her blog ages ago and now she is famous. ;)

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    1. Well Laura - I hope you do pursue it! I started that dream a long time ago when I was closer to your age and honestly, wish I had kept at it. Of course, sunny as I am, I think there is supposed to be a time and a place for everything, so am taking this as my time and I suppose I need to do it all to get to here!

      Can't wait till I can say the same about YOU!

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  13. Didn't JK Rowling have more than a dozen rejections before Harry Potter was birthed? Just back from Mindfulness conference and the advice there would have been just as you've done--take some deep breaths and go on. We are not worried.

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    1. oh I can't wait to hear about the mindfulness conference! Agree completely! Deepak would tell me to be blissfully unattached to outcome - that if I am doing the work with a pure heart (i.e. for the enjoyment of my readers, which I am) than all will work out in the time and place when it is supposed to. And that my publisher and I are looking for each other - we just haven't found one another yet (all very romantic isn't it?)

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  14. Rejection stinks. I've failed at many, many things, and you'd think that repetition would naturally lead to some equanimity about it all, but sadly no. So, I shall join you in a toast. Here's wishing you future success!

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    1. MW - thank you, my dear! you hang in there, too! We all learn so much and I think equanimity is something that we learn over a lifetime!

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  15. Well, i for one am incredibly impressed that you have written a book and that you're onto the writing to agents time. Our writing instructor was trying to tell us the other day that rejections slips are positive as it means how far along the path you are!! However I know if I ever get that far, I will take to my bed for 24 hours - or drink mightily. love you in the gold and silvery look too.

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    1. Hi Jody - I think your instructor is right - you actually have to have completed something and polished it many many times before you can send it out, so the rejections slips are signposts of the journey. That was me at the disco party at my 50th - I was something!!!

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  16. Wendy, I find you and your writing to be open, honest, creative, and human. Hopefully an agent will notice your talent soon. Keep writing and following your dreams.

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    1. thanks teacups - that is awfully kind!! I appreciate the kind words!

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Kindness is a virtue...