Friday, May 8, 2015

Miller Time Friday: The Little Things


I was reminded this week, as I often am, of how it is the small things in life that can bring us the most joy.  Our happiness does not depend on the material things we own (though they can be pretty swell), but from a contented recognition of the myriad of little things, simple blessings, that when taken together form a pattern of contentment and a quiet joy.

Those are the things in our lives we ought cling to; our financial, physical, professional lives are every changing.  We can no more hold on to them than we can catch the wind in our hands.

I saw an interview last year with Shawn Achor, the best-selling author of the happiness advantage.



I confess I have not read his book, though I have seen him interviewed several times and was always impressed.

One of the key things that Achor found in his research was that happy people are grateful.  And gratitude, like all of our muscles, can be worked on and improved.  A key exercise he has readers and patients do is that each day for 21 days, they must record 3 news things they are grateful for and why they are grateful.    Since they must be three new things daily, it is not possible to fall back upon the rote "I'm grateful for my health, family, etc".  It requires a specificity that challenges the person to think. 

I do this regularly now and it does build one's resilience, since to be human by definition means that one will always be subjected to stresses and bad luck and change. 

I was thinking of this today when my hummingbirds arrived home.  They arrived, as always, without fanfair; if I could the trumpets would have blared and they would have been announced like Cinderella at the ball, such is the esteem in which they are held here.  But this morning, standing there looking out the front window, still in my bathrobe, the male hummingbird flew up and for a good 30 seconds, hovered in front of me outside the window.  Neither of us spoke, since at that moment neither of us were capable of speaking, least of all me.  I had one of my three things at seven a.m. and I was all the better for it.


There are people far richer than I, but this morning I felt rich indeed, because I felt grateful.

And in honour of my returning friend, shall we have something sweet?


 The Hummingbird Cocktail

The Hummingbird Cocktail

 

Ingredients

2 ounces brut Champagne or dry sparkling wine
1 1/2 ounces St-Germain
2 ounces club soda
Lemon twist, for garnish

Directions

  1. Stir sparkling wine, St-Germain, and club soda together in a tall ice-filled Collins glass, mixing completely. Garnish with a lemon twist.

If you haven't thought of three things today, happy hour is the perfect time to do so! 

My list is easy:

1) my hummingbird encounter
2) a lovely conversation with a dear friend
3) knowing that there is a lovely Cote du Rhone awaiting me for dinner....

How about yours?

Have a lovely Friday!

xoxo wendy

21 comments:

  1. Hello Wendy,
    I love this post and the reminder to count our blessings. Being grateful for three new items is news to me and I thank you for this. I do practice gratitude each morning on waking and I suppose one could also call it prayer.
    Enjoy your weekend
    Helen xx

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    1. Helen - I would definitely call it prayer! The last thing I do before I go to sleep last night is be thankful and pray for a lot of people, many of whom I don't know and some one whom I don't actually like! What I have discovered the older I get is that hanging on to any negativity wears me down. I try hard now to wish the person luck and move on! (some people require several sessions of this!). it doesn't mean I want to hang out with them, but I love not feeling negative anymore!

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  2. I've been doing that three-things exercise for a few months after feeling quite helpless and a bit hopeless with health issues in our family, I didn't know it came from this fellow, I can't remember where I read it. It is a very easy exercise and it just helps to focus on the positive... I agree it is the little things. My clothesline brings me much happiness for example, also the cardinal family that visits. A strange thing lately nearly every time I look outside I see the daddy cardinal in all of his glory, a constant reminder of the beauty of the natural world.
    Another thing I'm grateful for just now, wearing my tennis shoes without socks out in the sunshine! Woo-hoo!
    Lovely cocktail Wendy and I hope you have a wonderful Miller Time tonight. I'll be on the porch! xox

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    1. I think I might have told you about it - having been doing it for awhile! Hope you had an awesome weekend!

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  3. Happy weekend. This cocktail sounds and looks wonderful.I want to try this three-things project. I did it one thing a day, so guess 3 will be even more powerful!
    Happy Mother's Day!
    xoxo

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  4. I saw my first hummingbirds of the year at my sis's house in CT this week; we watched them while sipping wine at her outdoor table. So happy to see them back.

    J Bryan Sexton PhD at Duke has done a lot of research on daily gratitude, and I think has some you tube presentations on the 3 things; he's a very funny guy we heard at an otherwise heavy duty critical care meeting. He tries to ameliorate stress and burn out of providers.

    I'm doing my famous never dry turkey burgers tonight. You buzz a few mushrooms and a shallot in the food processor and mix with the turkey, then season with what you like ( I did smoked salt, chives, pepper tonight but you can make them Mexican or Thai). No roll or other starch today. Just a brief saute of asparagus from the garden, redpepper and more mushrooms and a salad. And some vermentino.

    Happy Mother's Day to all!

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    1. Oh sounds yummy! We are having lavender honey chicken tonight, roast potatoes and bakes asparagus mixed with chervil, which has just come up in the garden!

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  5. You have inspired me to work on my gratitude muscle!

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  7. Aye! Couldn't agree more. Being in gratitude mode allows me to let the small stuff roll off more easily. Today, happiness is getting Kate Atkinson's new novel for Mother's Day. Hope you have a delightful Mother's Day weekend.

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    1. I can't wait to read that! That's next on the list!

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  8. What a great post. Every morning I usually do the standard body parts, health, home, relationships. But taking it in this direction....I like it!! Thanks for sharing :)

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    1. You are most welcome, too. I like it because it forces me to look for things, which I guess forces you to be optimistic!

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  9. I'm amazed that you actually got a pic of a real live hummingbird! I have regular early morning visits from a black&white bird who sings, does a little dance, and flies away. It makes me smile for,the rest of the day.

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  10. I do try to appreciate all of the many blessings in my life. I should get a little better at telling others all of the many things I am grateful about. It sure beats all of the negative parts of life. So I will begin here. Wendy I am grateful for the good cheer you spread in the blog world and that you put so much effort into sharing your world with us. Happy Mother's Day!

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    1. Thanks! Can you email me offside? The bloody outlook ate your email?

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  11. Lovely post Wendy. I think if you're grateful for the little things then you're happier overall as with the big things it's rare to be able to pinpoint when it's "perfect" and feel the effect of that for the long term.
    So happy for you that you've got sunshine and hummingbirds after your long winter too

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Kindness is a virtue...