Learning to Dance in the Rain

 
I consider myself a lucky sort of gal.  I always seem to have the most wonderful friends, hither and yon, and they never cease to inspire me with their creativity and their kindness.  They live their lives wholeheartedly, a term I have co-opted happily from Brene Brown, and which I think is just such a darn good word to describe people who are joyful and do their best to do no harm.

The happiest time in my career was when I was Director of Early Childhood Services.  It was just magical - we were making new programs that were helping people, we were 100% committed to supported families with young children and wonders of wonders, we all liked one another. 

Every morning I would skip into work and giggle and laugh all day long, all while working like a dog.  Best. Job. Ever.

I eventually left that job for another, but I didn't leave the people.  They've always been there for me and I've always been there for them.  Every single one of them is special and unique and when I think of them I want to smile and tear up all at the same time.

One of my friends from those days, Rachel, has had a rough go the last few years.  Both of her kids have been ill and are still recovering. 

But unlike the rest of us, Rachel doesn't sit on the sideline and say "woe is me".  Nope - she raises money and donates time to support brain tumour awareness and cure, supports mental health in children and adults, support ways to find a cure for breast cancer.  Her daughter Janica, a beautiful 16 year old brain tumour survivor, is a bundle of energy and smarts who tells her story of surviving on behalf of the many kids who are not so lucky and raises buckets of money:

Their family's motto, which I love, is:

 

 

In December I came across a contest where you could nominate someone to win a gorgeous pair of earrings.  It was for people who are making a difference in their communities.  Well that is Rachel in spades.  Everyone Rachel meets, she touches and helps.  So I entered her and her story and guess what? She won and we found out on Christmas Eve!  What a gift for me and for her!  I think I was the most excited!

 

Last night we went for coffee so she could show me how awesome these earrings looked on her.  I was so excited to see them, but mostly I was excited to see Rachel and catch up, because she is the kind of person you leave thinking "well I need to be an even better person" and you think that joyfully, because she is so inspiring.

 

And given her desire to give and support, she has been so kind to me about chasing my dreams.  So last night she arrived with a bag of goodies that made me giddy:

 

 

 

 

Aren't they perfect?

 

A true friend knows when you can use some encouragement!

 

So now when I write I can look at these tangible expressions of friendship and support and think "If Janica can do it I can damn well make this chapter the best it can be!"  because really, we both know who is the tougher cookie and which is more important.

 

And mostly I will remember how important it is to dance in the rain!

 

Love you guys!

 

 

I think we can all learn from these beautiful women and give back and help others.  That is part of my plan for 2014, so spending time with Rachel just inspires me even more!!!

 

I hope you all have a Rachel out there!

Have a wonderful day and stay safe out there!

 

 

 

Shedding our Skins

February 10th, 2013 ushered in The Year of the Snake.

I don't think I really realized that fact when it occurred last winter; I was going through a lot of personal stuff and I think I missed the Chinese New Year altogether.  I only realized it was The Year of the Snake a couple of weeks ago and had to laugh out loud: of course it was!

Over the course of the last year, I feel like I have shed multiple skins.

The me what has emerged as the year ends is very different than the me that started the journey and yet is more truly me than I have been for many years.

When we shed skins, we let go of old ways of doing things, old ways of looking at the world.  What emerges is a shinier, healthier version of ourselves.  That doesn't always involve career changes.  It can be as simple as getting a better handle of your finances, cleaning out your closets, learning something new that always interested you.

Change can be interesting, but change can also be hard.  Sometimes we search it out, and sometimes we hide under the bed from it until it drags us kicking and screaming out into the sunlight.

The biggest skin I shed this year was not deciding to leave my old career. 

It was deciding that I didn't always have to be right and in control.  I could trust that it was okay just to BE.  And to be ME.

That is a good skin to shed.

January 31st we begin the Year of the Green Wooden Horse.    Doesn't that sound wonderful?

 

 

 

 

Apparently, this is often a year for pursuing dreams and lots of excitement.  According to Astrology.com:

The Year of the Wood Horse is a very lucky in Chinese Astrology. Because the Horse is lucky, expect a lot of lucky breaks, or at the very least, luck could soften the blows.

Now, I am not a big astrology person, but I do love the Chinese zodiac - it is so interesting! So I am looking for lucky breaks in 2014!
I was born at the tail end of the Year of the Tiger.  Barry is a Year of the Tiger baby as well, which explains a lot of head butting around here at times.

When I read the following description about Tigers I had to laugh out loud:

People born in the Year of the Tiger always take pride in being different from others, and normally demonstrate their originality best in their homes. Their homes are typically filled with exotic possessions. It is no surprise that one of the Tiger’s favorite gemstones is the cat’s eye, but tigers also love the sparkle of rubies and diamonds. They like to spend money, and also to share it. They can be very impulsive spenders because they know they can at all times make more

Guilty!

So how about you?  Have you shed any skins this year?  Are you looking forward to the Year of the Horse?  I'd love to hear!  And if you know much more about the Chinese Zodiac than I do (and how could you not - I know so little!) I'd love to hear that, too!

Have a great day and stay safe out there!
   

Vanity, Thy Name is Wendy

I may not be shopping these days, but I am dreaming...

Today's post was inspired by a Facebook post I saw from a favourite local shop, Savour Décor.

The shop is owned by Janice Lapointe, who is a talented singer, a lovely lady and who has an eye for lovely things for the home.

The picture she posted was this one:

A repurposed 1921 vanity.  I swooned.

I mean it - I really swooned.

Why?  Because I have always wanted a vanity like this.

My lust began in the 1960s, reading the Simpson Sears catalogue.  I always wanted one of these:

No - this is not me, but I wanted it to be me!  Source

A vanity is a place of glamour.  You put on your makeup and jewelry there.  You pour out your soul to your sister. 

Every movie star had a vanity

Ah Claudette Colbert, admiring her beauty.  Or maybe she saw a spot...

My beloved Carole Lombard, glamour personified...

I assume Elizabeth got a bigger one as the diamonds became bigger...

And Rita's has that lovely satin skirt...

Who wouldn't want to look at that face all day long?

I have a lovely dresser.  It was my great-grandmother's, and is now almost 130 years old.

I used to sit on the bed beside it at my Grandfather's house and stare into the mirror and was thrilled when it eventually got handed down to me.

I love it, but there is no place to sit down and powder my nose.  All that is done in the bathroom, staring into a 5X magnified mirror because frankly, without my glasses, my face has become a kind of amorphous thing...

Don't you think that I am already en route to be a Miss Havisham?  I keep adding things to my dresser from here and there in the house, not taking things away, and it makes me giddy with delight.

 

I am certain I could find a place for that beautiful vanity from Janice's store somewhere in my room.  You don't think Barry would mind getting rid of his dresser, do you?

Ah never mind - it's not in the budget.  But it will be some day!

So how about you?  Do you have a glamorous vanity?  Do tell!  Have a great Monday and stay safe out there!


 

On my relationship with Ma Bell

Oh oh, telephone line, give me some time
I'm living in twilight
Jeff Lynne

I miss the old days of the telephone world.

You know - busy signals, no messages.

Visiting friends in the country who were on party lines and listening to others' conversations.  Not that my best friend Barbie and I ever did that...

Well, maybe now and then.

In the old days, New Brunswick had a telephone company, NB Tel.  Well run, transparent relationship with customers.  Oh it was a monopoly in those days, and you would be right to say "Wendy - it can't have been all wine and roses and anyway, didn't your father pay those phone bills, not you?" 

But as is the way with all things of our postmodern telephone world (postmodern of what?  good question!  Postmodern of conglomerates in this case, not cell phones), NB Tel was bought by Bell.

For our house phone (are we the only ones left with a house line?), we left Bell last year after an increasingly frustrating relationship with the company, and switched to Rogers.  However, we still have two cell phone with Bell until those contracts expire and then we will leave for ever.

Why?  Because no one, themselves included, could read their phone bills.

It is apparent to me that the new world order involves bills which are so complex that they are undecipherable.  We would get bills, question charges and then spend 2 hours on the phone with personnel that passed us back and forth, back and forth.  The home phone people could not talk to the cell people and vice versa.  No one could explain certain charges and we were told on more than one occasion that we should just trust Bell Aliant.

At one point, the bills and overcharges (because we and they did mutually discover that they were double-charging us for some things) required me to make a matrix of the last 6 months of phone bills!  Now I am currently gainfully transitioning in the employment area so I could devote the 2 hours that was required to make the grid and follow the money and bill trail.  I felt like a forensic accountant or a NSA agent, digging, digging, digging, and for what good end?

As a caveat, I must say that I have a beautiful smart cousin who works for Bell Aliant and I think they ought to put her in charge of making the bills simpler.  And yet, I am not convinced that they would want to do that at all, since the complexity had resulted in us overpaying on quite a few occasions...

Fast forward to this week.  I asked Bell Aliant to return to mailing the cellphone bill for my kids' phones, as there had been some confusion and a previous payment had been missed and I did not want that to happen again.  They said they were happy to do so.  I was happy to hear that they were happy.  Happy, happy, happy.

Then the bill arrived.  The first 7 pages (excessive amount I would think) were relatively straightforward.  It was the 66 pages that followed that made me stop and say "WTF, Bell Aliant".  You see my kids have unlimited texting plans.  Good stuff.  And Bell Aliant felt it was necessary to print off, and send me 66 pages listing all of their text messages.  All of which cost me nothing.  66 pages of 0s:

This monstrosity came in a large envelope.  My phone bill was 73 pages long.  We can all appreciate what the paper and postage would have cost.  Now I know why my bloody bills were so high. 

I am so gobsmacked now that I don't even want to call some customer service person who will be nice, but will in no way, shape, or form be able to address the stupidity of this kind of thing.

Is it just me, or are we seeing more and more of this kind of thing - companies that send bills that require PhD's to understand? I have even contemplated drafting a mock bill template for their consideration, one written in plain English and that the average consumer would understand.  But something tells me I would get nowhere.

I am not a crank, but I am officially cranky.  And you win Bell Aliant - I am calling and getting back on an electronic bill.  But you kind of suck, too.

I'll be back later with something more cheerful, but in the interim, how are you making out with these kinds of companies?

Have a great morning and stay safe out there!

 

Sharing a Little Birthday Booty: JCrew Cashmere T in Verdigris, jewellry, something very special

Hi all!

It was a splendiferous day yesterday.  It was warm and sunny and could walk the dog with only little cashmere gloves on, which made me almost giddy.

I will take this January thaw, as it is always followed by a January deep freeze!

I had coffee with good friends, I got two chapters rewritten and I helped a friend.  Really - can you ask for anything more from a day than that?

I also wanted to share my birthday booty for those of you who might be interested. 

One of the gifts, the J Crew Cashmere T in verdigris, has been a box under the bed since November. 

And you say I have no willpower!  Well actually, you don't say that, I say that!

I picked it up on a promo/40% off sale and I am glad I did - it is lovely colour:

I think I am staring at my daughter in this picture...

I also got a lovely necklace from my son's girlfriend.  This is the only close-up I have and that is my son's finger and no, I am not impressed.

I genuinely did try to be a good mother....

I also got a lovely bracelet from my kids:

A beautiful bangle, made from a twig mold, with a lovely little crystal charm.  I just love it!

And my last present, is, I admit, my favourite:

Barry purchased the original artwork that was done to accompany my article in the Globe and Mail.  It is so gorgeous and vibrant in real life!  I know the Barry club is going to be all over that!

The talented artist, whose name is Miko Maciaszek, was happy to sell it to him and wrote me a lovely note:

I was so touched, and if you go on his site, you can see some of the original drawings associated to the final piece that was used.

So yesterday morning, I trotted off to my favourite Framers, Joy of Framing, and together we have come up with a lovely way to present this very lovely and very meaningful piece of art.  I can't wait to get it back in a couple of weeks.

I only hope that this is just the beginning of a long career and the framing of many book covers and the like!

So really, I could not have asked for a nicer birthday.  It has been a great week so far!  Now I am off to go through scarves....Only 50 more items to get rid of!

What are you up to this fine Thursday???

Stay safe out there! 

Style Wednesday: Shopping Retreat!

Well first let me say I am gobsmacked at how many of you sent me such lovely birthday greetings!

As Mr. GSL said it so eloquently (does he say anything NOT eloquently?  I don't think so!) - it was a party that spread across 6 continents, multiple time zones and there is a rumour that disco balls sold out world-wide.

But as is the case with all excessive things in my life, I must eventually come back to the real (virtual) world!

I have been thinking about clothing and shopping for about a month now and my shopping "moratorium" is a product of that contemplation and not vice versa.

Many of you have been along for the style ride, as I neared 50, and then suddenly left work - there were so many life transitions that I began to feel and act like Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

I've gotten some absolutely fantastic things from the internet and the blogsphere: friends, opportunities to learn things, easy access to shopping when I need it.  But as is always the way, there are dark sides to every light side, a Mount Doom to my Bag End.

Before the internet and blogs, I had no idea what was considered "covetable".  Suddenly I felt weird that I didn't know about this expensive shoe or bag or article of clothing.  I always considered myself to have nice clothing and style, but here was a whole other level of shopping and price point that I had never even considered. 

And then the online sales.  I like a bargain as much as the next person, but was beginning to feel that each new rollout from every retailer, each new "sale", suddenly had me behaving like a bloodhound at the hunt.  And since I needed more casual clothing last year, it was fun. And then it wasn't fun.  Not because I couldn't afford the things I bought - in fact I spent far less in 2013 than I had in the previous ten years.

No - it wasn't the cost.  It was the feeling that I had been sucked into being a consumer, acquiring things I did not really need but felt I should buy because it was such a deal or because someone else had bought it and it looked fabulous on them.  I was buying a couple or four things a month and I was sick of it. 

Hence the cold turkey. 

And today, I looked into my closet and it wasn't pretty (this is fall/winter only):

Cluttered and unworn, a lot of it forgotten about or not loved enough to wear.


So I began to pull out things I didn't love.  I pulled out 50 things.  I can still do more, but this is a good start and tomorrow I am going through scarves.  I am doing a Janet, getting rid of 100 things this week.

 Things should buoy you up, not weigh you down, and exorcising the demons from my closet is already lightening my load.  And I don't miss buying at all, because I am simply not looking.

No consignment this time  - the things I don't love will all go to charity to be enjoyed by someone who needs them, which is not me.

No shopping for me to replace things gone.

My shopping plan for 2014 will utilize a completely different strategy: a set amount in April/May, a set amount in October/November.

I am not shopping sales.  During my approved shopping period, if I see something I REALLY love on sale, of course I will buy it, but otherwise I will gladly pay full price from now on, since if I am unwilling to pay full-price, I should be unwilling to buy the thing in the first place.  Obviously there may be the odd stray outside this time frame, but they will be rare and because of something unanticipated.

There will always be something pretty.  I will not miss ANYTHING.  And I will buy my things together so that I buy things that all work together, as opposed to the orphans I have in my closet.  I will, in 2014, be shopping exactly like my mother shopped in 1974.

And I am pulling a page from Dani's book and dressing up a bit more starting this week.  I don't want to dress corporate anymore - been there, done that - but I do miss dressing prettilyy, so will be putting on the good stuff to walk the dog.  After all - if it's still in the closet, it's cause I love it...

Like yesterday's birthday outfit, LBD and creamy jewelled cardigan.

So I don't know if this will be of any help to anyone, but it has helped me to sort through all of my feelings about shopping and my wardrobe. 

And I still love all your blogs about your great deals and they will give me lots of ideas so when I am ready I might know what I really want, what I really need and what I really love.  Cause at 51, I ain't just going to buy something on a whim anymore or because some sales clerk tells me I look fabulous in it!

Would love to know how you instill discipline in your shopping habits?

Have a great day out there and stay safe!

On Turning 51 with Panto, glitter and friends!

I love birthdays - mine and everyone else's. 

I am an equal opportunity birthday lover.

I even love my age now.  51 seems sturdy.  I have all my teeth.  I don't see as well as I used to, but then, that just makes everyone else look all dreamy....

I always think a birthday is a time to reflect on the year past and mostly, I think it is a time to reflect on how lucky I am to be here on this lovely blue dot in a vast universe.

I think of friends who didn't make it to 51.  I owe it to them to disco and do my Angus Young impression at parties and sing off-key very loudly when I listen to 80s on 8 on Sirius XM.

This past year has been about profound changes in my life and in me and the biggest of these is that I now practise gratitude on a daily basis. 

Yes, I still have my black moods, but I recover from them more quickly.

I can still be - ahem - prickly, but I apologize and try to do better.

And I no longer blame - myself or others.  I don't need to be right any more and I let sleeping dogs lie. 

What I know for sure at 51:

• I'm not the smartest tool in the toolshed, but I get by
• I'm as beautiful as I want to feel and while my belly looks remarkably like those geographic relief pictures of the Appalachian Mountains, I like to think of it as a scientific wonder now, not an item for derision
• I want people to think kindly of me after they were with me - wasn't she fun?  isn't she joyful?
• I love all of my friends and most of them love me back!
• I love my family and mostly they love me too!
• I do love attention.  I am pretty sure in a past life I was a showgirl!
• That Tina and Amy may have joked on the Golden Globes that George Clooney headed into deep space to get away from a woman his own age, but I am convinced, and surely you must agree, that there can be only one truth: he has been searching his whole life for a geographic relief of the Appalachians! 
• That everything in life can be summed up thanks to the Tao of Dr. Seuss: for some wonderful period of time we are here on this planet, today is part of that journey for me, and like those little Who's in Horton Hears a Who, I am going to continue to reach out: "I am here, I am here, I am here!"  Cause you know what? Here is pretty darn good!

You are lucky in life if you meet people with whom you connect.  One such person is my beloved Tabs over in Scotland, and I am convinced we are distantly related, if not by blood then by the fact that we engaged in the same tomfoolery in the late 70s and 80s! 

She lost her finger puppets in the horrid home break-in last year and I recently replaced them with some new ones. 

She has repaid that gift in spades with a special Panto just for me.  It has all of the hallmarks of a classic, eventually to be seen every January 14th henceforth, a modern Christmas Carol or How The Grinch Stole Christmas if you will, full of many layers of meaning that film historians will watch, rewind and then pore over for years to come.  Everyone will wonder "who the hell was Wendy?" and "What is a Schaeffer pen?", but I will know wherever I am and I will be drinking bourbon (and then probably being ill later!).  And you just know she is getting more puppets!  Thank you Tabs, my glamorous Scottish Queen!  Much love!

you know you're special if you get birthday greetings from Winston Churchill and Queen Victoria

So thanks to you all tonight and tomorrow for dropping in on the virtual party.  Take some cake and champagne and head over to Tabs' for the entertainment.  Mind the disco ball on the way out!  You are all why I am here, whether you chat or not, and I am grateful! 

Wonder what the 102nd birthday party will be like?  George will be 106 then, so it might work out...

Stay Safe out there!  And get prepared for tomorrow's Style Wednesday!